


Rewrite the Stars

by CajunSpice714



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: <---weirdest tag ever, Enemies to Lovers, Epic saber battles, F/M, Force Balance, Force Bond, Force Dream Sharing, Force Wedding, I wonder who?, M/M, Non-binary character, Oh wait, Other, Someone's gunna die, Tallie is not dead because I say so, The only ones happy about this wedding are two of the Knights of Ren, bloody hand jobs, have some seether lyrics while you're at it, i'm writing this so of course it's me., is it getting rapey in here or is it just me?, rape flashback, separation from the force, well I wrote it so it's not that epic but read it anyways
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-23
Updated: 2018-06-09
Packaged: 2019-03-08 15:19:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 18
Words: 50,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13461003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CajunSpice714/pseuds/CajunSpice714
Summary: Kylo Ren, a man with a legacy to uphold and a war to win. Rey, a once insignificant little girl, is now the hope of the Resistance. He wants a new order. She wants to save her friends and find her place in the world. Both will give anything to get what they want and Ren has a plan. Will it work or is betrayal looming in the air?





	1. Knife

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic on AO3 which also happens to be my first Star Wars fic as well. I'm posting chapters already posted on my Fanfiction account and I'm planning on setting up an updating schedule but that's difficult for me to do because I never know when I'm going to get the inspiration to actually write. I have 8 chapters so far so we've got a bit to go still! Woo Hoo! I hope you enjoy =)

The bond has been dormant for weeks before he feels it again. He hasn’t felt more than an inkling of anything since she closed the door to the disastrous Millenium Falcon. There are no images, no sounds or feelings, her mind not open to him as it had been before but there is a sensation. Just one and it startles him enough that he removes his glove to look at his palm. He doesn’t realize until it’s too late what it was, the pain fleeting back into the recesses of her mind and he blindly chases it trying to escape the monotony of being a leader for a moment but she is unreceptive and he falters. Fear flashes for a quick moment before it’s gone, blocked into the vaults of his mind where the memories and feelings of old are stored, not for later viewing, but to be hidden and forgotten.

 

General Hux startles him from his reprieve and he nods looking at their fleet with disinterest. His mind goes back to the bond when the General’s attention drifts and Ren wonders how he can get rid of the bond. Sever it completely. He had given her a chance, _THE_ chance to come with I’m, work with him to build a new empire that would be free of the Jedi and their archaic and unrealistic religion. Why had it hurt when she refused? Why had he been so sure of the stupid vision he had seen? She had made him weak and he needed to be rid of her immediately.

 

“Give me all of the information on that stupid ship the Millennium Falcon.” He tells the nearest crew member, causing Hux to stop mid-sentence. The woman, dressed in uniform blues nods and began typing away on her holoscreen.

 

“Supreme Leader?” Hux’s emotions weren’t as guarded, his surprise evident.

 

“We need to not underestimate them. We need to track them, bring them in, and torture them. They shall die by my hand or be burned alive. I don’t care how it happens but for us to be in full control we need them gone. NOW.” The rest of the crew turns back to their work eagerly doing as commanded for fear of another of Kylo Ren’s devastating examples of temper and force.

 

“As you wish, Supreme Leader.”

 

_**I will hunt you down. I will hurt you. I will end you.** _

 

Kylo Ren disappears from the bridge of the ship to make his way back to his rooms with an order to not be disturbed until that ship was found. His anger flares halfway down the corridor and the metal panels of the hallways bow with the sheer force of his dark and angry will billowing like his cape until he turns the corner and it’s gone.

 

* * *

 

She gasps as searing pain engulfs her hand. The blade she had been using to scrape away rust from one of the manifolds of the Falcon had slipped, slicing deeply into her palm. The blood pools instantly and she drops the knife, swearing as she attempts to clamor from the hole she was in upside down and one-handed. “Chewie? Finn?” The two had been chattering to her a moment ago, but they are gone. She has never been unable to get out of a situation she had purposely put herself into, but this time she was unsure how to really relieve the position she was in. Swinging her torso up she grabs the paneling of grate above her head and pulls with her good hand. BB8 whistles as he rolls by and she calls out to him.

 

“BB8!”

 

The small yellow and white droid beeps and whistles, looking around for the voice.

 

“Down here you silly droid.” When it’s attention was on her she laughs still in good spirits even though the pain flares down her arm. “Go find Finn or someone. I literally could use a hand.” The droid contemplates her for a moment before giving an excited whistle and rolling back the way it had come.

 

Heavy footfalls come moments later, Finn and Poe calling her name. While she had managed to right herself she was unable to reach the next foothold one handed so she had sat herself down on the wrung of where she stood to examine her hand angrily.

 

“Rey?”

 

“Finn, Down here!” She moves to stand again, balancing herself carefully where she stood.

 

“I’ve gotcha girl,” Finn calls as he leans down into the hole, his torso hanging over while Poe held his legs. “Up you get.” He grabs her by the underarm of her injured arm and the waist, her good arm slung around his shoulders and easily hauls her up as she uses the wall’s footholds to help.

 

Once the grate is righted back into its proper place she examines her hand again. It’s a deep gash, her forearm and chest stained with bright red crimson, but it doesn’t bother as much as she thought it should.

 

“You should let a real mechanic handle those things.” Poe jabs and Rey elbows him in the side.

 

“I am a real mechanic. Or as close as we can get when Chewie isn’t here.”

 

“Yeah, yeah kid.” Poe waves his hand at her and turns, heading towards the bunks rather than continuing on with them to the hangar.

 

The base their small band of resistance fighters had built was once Storrd Township on the planet Seregar but was now a city of ruin. They had sent out a distress call to their allies in outlying systems but have since not received any communication. Seregar is a beautiful planet, or at least in Rey’s eyes. It is warm and overgrown with green. The midday heat is enough to cause their fleet of people to either gather at the closest natural water source, about a mile away from their small bas,e or into the Falcon where the life support systems could run air with a sentient electrical output that wouldn’t spark notice by passing scanners. The forest around them is dense so it provides good cover in case of invasion, however, they hadn’t really gotten a real read out of the area as maps and holocasters are still down in an attempt to keep transmissions and other noticeable airwaves free and away from First Order scanners

 

Their meager medical and science staff has been able to find many natural resources they could use for medical reasons including edible plants and animals that could complement what rations they had but the search for a more hospitable home base was still one greatly looked forward to.

 

Finn and Rey enter the makeshift Medbay and recieve a deep chuckle from the supervising officer. She is a dark-haired woman name Tar’th who has seen her fair share of Finn and Rey since they had landed on Seregar three months ago. Upon examining Rey’s hand she frowns. “Unfortunately we’ve used the last of the bacta packs, but Anson here is pretty skilled with a needle. Let me see what I can find to use as a numbing solution while he gets you cleaned up and then we can get to work on fixing this.”

 

Rey nods quietly as she sits on the covered table and gives Anson a small smile when he begins to clean her up. Finn chatters next to her, an unending stream of random language she tunes out. The press to her mind comes at the same time the needle sinks into her hand and she gasps, focusing on that pain rather than the force. “Sorry.” Anson replies softly “The anesthetic works differently on different people. I’ll add some more.” He takes the plant and rubs it cautiously along her open palm again, squeezing more juice into the depths in an attempt to numb her hand more.

 

Once she is finally patched up she and Finn return to the Falcon to have lunch with Poe who is beaming with excitement. “General Organa has been here. We received a transmission a few minutes ago. We have allies coming. Some are bringing more troops, others are bringing supplies.” Finn whoops loudly and he and Poe high five while Rey smiles. They are beginning to rebuild, they are still in this fight.

 

A ripple of pain explodes through her stomach and she recognizes it as pure, blind fury and stands abruptly gasping. Finn looks startled but she waves him away stumbling her way towards the sleeping quarters so she can be alone. “Rey?” Poe calls after her and she shakes her head, waving her hand again.

 

“I-it’s just a side effect of the numbing plant. The doctor said I may feel ill afterward because of the amount they needed to use on me to numb my hand. “ Her shoulder jars against the doorframe but neither man stands to help her, knowing if they tried she would probably use her force powers to return them to their seats. Both look on with concern that Rey could feel but it ended as soon as the door was shut.

 

Sliding to the floor against the door she gasps in deep unhelpful breaths as she tried to control the raw surge of emotion she was receiving from him. What was happening? How could this get through when she had been effectively blocking it out for the last couple of months?

 

Her mind warps, time slows, and she’s lying curled up on the dark tiled floor of some unknown room when he appears, heavy black boots thudding against the wall as papers, books, pens swirl angrily around him. He bangs his fists against the wall and yells the most guttural and agonized yell she has ever heard and it breaks her heart all over again. She closes her eyes, not wanting to bear witness to this but she can hear everything. Only when his yells turn to anguished noises and the swirling objects hurl towards the walls does she make herself known, throwing up a force shield to prevent being injured by a pen that makes contact before hitting the floor and rolling away.

 

He looks up then, pure rage and agony in his eyes intent on ending whoever interrupted and the emotion changed to anger and hurt and he turns his back on her. It’s easier this way. To not look at her, to pretend she isn’t even there. “Come to gloat in my pain?” he asks, voice low, dangerous.

 

“No. I-I don’t know why I’m here,” Rey whispers her injured hand still thrown out, maintaining the force shield. “I didn’t want this Ben.” her voice breaks on his name but still he doesn’t turn. “I want to be sorry, but the path you’re going down. That’s a path I cannot follow.” She shakes her head and he turns a mask firmly affixed in place, although it’s an emotional mask rather than a physical one. His face blank.

 

“Then leave.” His voice is low, disinterested and she steps back when she realizes he’s no longer Ben but Kylo Ren again.

 

“The force won't let me go until it’s deemed the proper time.” She whispers and he knows this, but wills it to not be so, his rage a chaotic ebb and flow in his mind.

 

“What did you do to your hand?” He asks, impassive as he force levitates things back into their proper places and sits, his back to her, again not wanting to see her face.

 

“Knife.” It’s a clipped answer that makes his rage flare enough to send her skidding back with the force of it, her shoes not giving her any purchase against the smooth floor.

 

His use of force easily breaks through her shield and he turns stepping forward to force choke her, pulling her off her feet. Terror alights in her eyes and her hands go to the invisible noose around her neck, trying to pry and pull him from her throat but it’s useless and a moment later he is gone and she is alone in the bunks of the Millenium Falcon once more, gasping for air with tears welling in her eyes.


	2. Dejarik

Rey coughs as she slides down the wall of her room, looking around with wide eyes. Sniffling she wipes away the tears that had fallen and stands, anger welling up in her chest as she looks at the ruined lightsaber. She’s defenseless against him at his worse, if the First Order was to return now, she would surely fall to Kylo Ren’s saber and she wasn’t going to stand by and let that happen.

 

Grabbing her bag and shoving the ancient Jedi texts into them she also takes the ruined saber and turns it over in her hands before carefully pocketing it in the side of her bag. Bounding down the ramp of the Millenium Falcon, Rey looks around in search of Poe or another maintenance engineer in their small sector of flight crews. While the Falcon was their only working ship at the moment there were several fighters that were currently being rebuilt and one, Poe’s new pride and joy, was close to being finished.

 

“Poe!” Rey calls, cringing when she hears a yelp before Poe slides out from behind one of the turbines rubbing his forehead with a frown. “Oh! I’m sorry I didn’t mean to startle you!”

 

Poe laughs and shakes his head. “What can I do for the savior of the Rebel fleet?” He asks with a soft chuckle, wiping his hands on his flight suit.

 

“I need a ride to Mimban.”

 

“We have to get any and all adventures approved by General Organa.” Finn states, suddenly appearing at her side, earning him an elbow in the ribs.

 

“I was planning on heading to speak with her next.”

 

“What’s on Mimban?” Finn questions as he turns and walks with Rey, Poe following a step behind them.

 

“Lightsaber crystals. I know it’s pretty far, that’s why I’m hoping that fighter of yours is close to being finished, Poe. I know the Falcon is on the First Order’s radar now and we don’t need them knowing what is going on.” They trek out of the hangar bay door and across the grassy trail to the main resistance building.

 

It is carefully disguised, their small Rebel base. No Rebel logos are anywhere to be seen anywhere around, they weren’t giving up by any means,  but for now they were hiding until they could be sure to have enough reinforcements to be able to defend their base or evacuate if the First Order deemed it acceptable to try and attack them now.

Finding them would prove to be a bit of a task for the First Order considering the Falcon had been completely dismantled, all of its hyperdrive equipment refurbished. They had found another vessel to sanction parts from, setting up the Falcon’s signature into a much smaller and harder to find craft that they had then sent to be traded in the far reaches of the Kessler run. The Millenium Falcon had been given the Hyperspace pseudonym Phoenix which seemed fitting when discussed after landing. It would always be the Millenium Falcon but they would need a clean escape if the time came for it and rechristening the Falcon would be the only way to do it, for now.

 

Entering the Strategic level of the base Rey looks around, she hadn’t really spent much time inside the base itself, preferring the solitude of the Falcon to the hustle of the base, but she knows well enough where the important places were. She hums as they walk and Poe raises an interested eyebrow at her before Finn chuckles.

 

“Just the people I wanted to see.” The voice of the General cuts through the air right as the trio turn the corner. Rey squeaks and Finn can’t help but laugh at his friend, clinging to her arm as a scowl sets on her face.

 

“You were looking for us General?” Poe questions, curiously, looking at the two pseudo children at his side.

 

“Yes, but it seems you were looking for me as well?” She raises an eyebrow before turning and gesturing towards her office door. “We can talk in here if you’d like.”

 

Rey enters first and takes the closest chair. She is anxious about her request but knows that the General would probably understand better than most. Once everyone was settled, she pulled the broken lightsaber from it’s spot in her bag and sets it upon Leia’s desk. “I need to fix this. If our only hope rests on me defeating Kylo Ren then I have to be on the same playing field as him. I need to have a way to defend myself. I don’t know if I can do it, but I’ve decided that if we can get permission to travel to Mimban to seek out their crystal cave I have a good chance of possibly repairing this saber or creating a new one.”

 

“Well…” Leia folded her hands and thought for a few moments. “Mimban is closer than Ilum or Ach-To, it would take a day or two to prepare and make sure we have two of the vessels ready for transport.”

 

“Two?” Finn asks, eyebrows raising.

 

“We have a fundraising and recruiting opportunity on Naboo in a few weeks. That is why I was seeking you three out, specifically. Dameron and Finn, you two are to be part of the transport and security detail, Rey and I are going as public faces.”

 

Rey feels the blood rush from her face and she swallows thickly, mouth suddenly dry. “Why would you want a nobody like me to be a part of this?” She asks quietly, brushing hair from her eyes. “I mean.. I have no social graces, I don’t know anyone…” Leia reaches her hand out to touch Rey’s gently.

 

“It will be fine. They just want to see that you’re real. There are rumors of you spreading across the galaxy now, as the girl who can face off against Kylo Ren and survive. People want to meet you Rey.”

 

“That’s so cool!” Finn squacks from her side and Rey turns her head to look at him curiously. “Naboo has a gorgeous lake country. We can go swimming and just take a break from all of this.” He gestured around. “I mean, no offence General but this would be a great opportunity to just take a breather, plus if Naboo is anything like they say, we’re in for a real treat.”

 

“I have something for the both of you, Rey and Finn.” Reaching into her desk drawer Leia pulls out two laminated badges one with Rey’s face and another with Finn’s. “We’ve decided that since you both have been such assets to our cause you should have official positions, although the titles don’t really mean much right now because we haven’t gotten any recruits who need to be trained on hand to hand combat, which I’ve been informed the two of you are quite adept at.”

 

Rey starred at her badge, frowning in confusion. “Gener… Leia… this says Rey Linares?” Finn frowns looking at his badge before chuckling, setting his badge next to hers, they share the same last name.

 

“These are primarily for travel causes, to make things look official, no one will be looking for people traveling by official means, at least that's what we’re counting on. One of our allies has grandchildren your ages but their identities have been kept secret for obvious reasons. You will be attending as their public faces. You’re cousins who live in a remote area of Kessler.” Rey nods absently, not really focused any more as she examines her badge.

 

“We’ll be heading into Kessler in the morning if all goes well. Rey, I would like for you to accompany me so we can get something suitable. Finn and Poe will come along as our escorts and from there you and Poe can go to Mimban.” Rey smiles and nods, but Finn protests.

 

“General, I would like to join them on their trail to Mimban.” Finn had always been curious about the ways of the Jedi, but had never had such an opportunity to learn until now.

 

“I’m afraid Rey needs a pilot who knows the way to Mimban and then to Naboo, and I will need a guard with me on our trip to Naboo.” Finn looks put out but nods and Rey pats his hand.

 

“Let’s go see if we can figure out how to play that game that is set up on the Falcon.” Rey gives Finn a smile and he nods, having been curious about the game ever since he had fallen against it and turned it on during his first trip on the Millenium Falcon.

 

* * *

  


She is frustrated, deep in her core and he can feel it, he can understand the feeling but he is curious as to why she is as frustrated as him and why the bond suddenly put him in such a position to feel her emotions so deeply. The bond thrums and he finds himself sitting next to her. Her brows are pressed low in concentration and her hand is stretched out as if she’s reaching for something. He watches her face for several moments, noticing that she doesn’t seem to have any ill effects from when he had lost his temper.

 

“What are you doing?” He asks and she jumps like she’s been shocked. He can feel the warble of concern from far off and she shakes her head, giving a short reply to whomever her companion is.

 

“I think the Dejarik table shocked me.” She states with a laugh pulling her hands away from it. She turns her head to look at the wall, at him.

 

“How is it that we’ve played this three times and I still don’t understand it?” She asks her companion, turning her attention back to the board just out of his line of sight.

 

“Beginners luck Finn, really?” She reaches out and smacks the unseen person, pleasure thrumming through their when the action is complete and she laughs.

 

“Let me see.” Ren reaches for her hand and she can feel the bare sensation of his hand on hers and she allows him to pull the world to focus enough so that he can see what she sees but no one can see him. He knows they’re testing the limit of this bond they have and if he pulls too much he could be in a very poor situation.

 

She takes a sharp breath in when he moves closer resting his chin over her shoulder to examine her pieces. “Start with the smaller ones. They’re faster and can dodge attacks easier. If you get two to gang up on one you can take them out easily. Let him come to you.” Ren whispers.

 

Rey frowns, curious as to why he was suddenly helping her but wondering, in part, if it was an attempt to apologize for his earlier actions. Heeding his words she resets the board, and grins at her friend. “Again?” She laughs at some unheard comment and shakes her hair out of her eyes ready to begin.

 

Her companion makes the first move and Ren shows her, carefully how to position her pieces so that she can lure him into a trap. After three moves she is able to, “Finally!” She screeches, take out three of his pieces in one go. Her jump up jarrs Ren’s jaw when her shoulder collides with it but she makes no notice, grin settled across her face. Returning to her seat she looks at him for a brief moment before settling back. He returns to his spot, aware how close they are but still wanting that tiny spark of pleasure to flutter along their bond.

 

He doesn’t know how long the bond leaves him there for, only that she’s able to almost beat her companion. She gives a little smile, the barest lift of the corners of her mouth and then he’s moving to brush his nose along her jaw and under her ear. Her sharp intake of breath, surprise running through the bond, brings him back to himself and he sits up and suddenly he is alone again as the bond slams shut around him forcefully.

 

He sits back against the wall that his bed is against and hums. She’s still open to his presence. He mulls this over as he gets up, dressing in preparation to go reek terror upon some of his more unruly subordinates.


	3. Crystals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lets play a game called spot the Anidala allegory. Shout out in the next chapter to whoever finds it first!!

Rey takes a deep breath, letting it go after a moment. She is alone as he climbs through a passage of caves. The trip to Mimban had been easy, but getting onto the planet’s surface had not been. The caves are steep and she knows she should have agreed to let Poe come along, but the quiet sound of her feet echoing on the natural stone floor makes her glad she had told him to stay with the ship.

 

Closing her eyes she sits for a moment. She crosses her legs takes a slow breath and lets it out, reaching with her mind to seek out the pull of the force she had felt earlier in the day when she had first left Poe. She could feel the life surrounding her, all of the trees, the pull of the force towards one particular area and she knew she was headed in the right direction.

 

On the base, Rey had sat for several hours pouring over the Jedi texts to try to figure out just how one could reconstruct a lightsaber. Leia had come to sit with her a few times, watching curiously. At one point she had told Rey about her and Luke’s trip to Mimban where they had found the ancient Kaiburr crystal that was an old Jedi relic. The shard she owned specifically was tuned to her force signature so it would be unusable in Rey’s lightsaber but it had given Rey hope that maybe, just maybe, there would be more of the rare crystal growing naturally in the wilderness of Mimban that she could find to use for her own saber.

 

 _There._ Standing carefully Rey adjusts the direction she is traveling. The communicator on her wrist beeps and Rey smiles, shaking her head as she makes a running jump over a cavern, tapping into the force to make a successful landing on the other side.

 

“Yeah?” She knows its Poe, he's the only one within communication range at the moment.

 

“Wow, what a greeting. Nightfall is going to be here in about an hour and a half. Are you going to be back by then?” She had been walking for more than an hour and wasn't there yet.

 

“I don’t know. Maybe? I haven’t found anything yet but I'm close.”

 

Poe makes a noise in the back of his throat a distracted noise. “I think there's a space storm looming on the horizon, try to make it quick kid. We will be here for a while if we don't get out of here before it hits.”

 

Rey nods but realises he can’t see her. “I'm moving as quickly as I can.” She responds. “I'm going offline now. Beep me if you need me.” She silences the comm and continues on her way.

 

It takes another hour before she can physically feel the looming draw of the force nearby. The sky is red with the sunset as she climbs up a stone path that leads to an ancient and crumbling temple. Swallowing thickly she steps through the large stone arch and she can feel the sharp pull of the force all around her.

 

It leads her to a corridor that pulls to the left and sinks deeper into the low mountain range. The cavern stops after about fifteen minutes of Rey following it and opens out into a massive cave. Its streaked in red fading light reflecting off of a pool of water and she can feel a presence. She’s unsure whether it's one presence or many melding into one solid mass but it's overwhelming and she sinks to the ground her knees suddenly weak and she lets the feeling sweep over her for a moment.

 

* * *

  


His breathing is heavy and sweat is sliding down the planes of his neck and bare chest as he dodges another swipe of a blade. He enjoys these moments of sparing with his knights, the rogue darkforce users he had stolen from Luke’s Jedi temple all those years ago. These people are the closest he has to friends. They tolerate him and follow him because they are afraid of the amount of force at his disposal but also respect him for that very reason.

 

The world wavers for a moment and a desperate pain streaks across his consciousness and he feels like he’s suddenly drowning. A hard strike to his side makes him crumble to the ground and the knight, in a similar state of undress as he steps over to hold out a hand.

 

“Thank you. That will be all for today.” Ren responds using his companion’s hand to pull himself up. The knight bows, collecting his things before turning to leave the training room that was available only for the Supreme Leader and his knights. He sinks to his knees as a multitude of emotions wash over him. Hitting him hard in the gut and he throws up his walls but they still batter him. It’s not his emotions he’s feeling but hers.

 

She pulls on the bond and suddenly he’s there, not where ever she is but in a force vision. The images flash so quickly he can’t make sense of them.

 

Two children laugh as they run past. “Ben slow down!” the small girl cries and the little boy stops to hold out his hand to her. “Come on, we don’t want to be late Rey.” They run off disappearing as quickly as they came and Ren turns to face her but she’s watching another scene unfold.

 

They’re young, he’s blonde and she has dark hair. They’re sparring with training sabers and he’s laughing as she tries to fight him off. “That’s not fair Ben.” He hears her call as he knocks her on her ass before offering her his hand. “You’re a jedi in training Rey. You need to use the force and focus.”

 

They walk away, hands linked. Another fades into view and they’re walking but in separate directions. Each time a bit older, with various people, some lovers, some friends, but never each other, eye contact never being made. Her breath hitches at this one and he turns his eyes to her again for a moment to see her standing before the scene changes again.

 

He’s in dark robes and she’s in a white dress. Her hair is pulled up into an intricate design a crown upon her head as they kiss.  

He’s in black robes with a blue saber his hair lighter, a jedi, and he’s protecting her as she’s dressed like royalty.

They’re teenagers tumbling in the grass as they kiss.

Adults, older than they are now curled up on a couch, watching children run around the room with content smiles.

 

**_Ten more pass._ **

 

**_Twenty._ **

 

**_Fifty._ **

 

**_Endless lifetimes._ **

 

The visions that he feels the most painful are the ones where they never meet.

 

The loneliness that he feels is crippling and he doesn’t know if it’s his loneliness or hers he feels but it pulls on his stomach and he’s raising to her, the real her. Is she a vision too?

 

Her attention is on the visions in front of them and he pauses to look, to see what has brought tears to her eyes and he’s pulled in, living the vision as it passes.  
  
**_It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay._ **   
  
Her voice keeps repeating into his head even as he smells the singed flesh and hair and feels the force bond weaken, his heart shattering at what he’s done with his own hands for a darkness he could never love as much as her.   
  
**_It’s okay. I love you. It’s okay_ ** _._   
  
The voice is soft, her eyes are brimming with tears and in the last moment before they close forever he can’t bear to look. He pulls her close to him, left arm slackening but sabre still lodged clean through and he holds her weakening body to him with the right, burying his face into her shoulder. The smell of her is as he remembers, always assaulting him -even in sleep-, and he just breathes.   
  
As his tears fall on the pale bare skin of her shoulder an unimaginable pain engulfs him from his stomach to his breast and he knows.   
  
He knows that with her last ounce of energy she has freed him. Freed him from the pain of being torn so viciously apart. Freed him from the agony raging within him. He smiles then before whispering the lightest words he’d ever remember saying. The bravest he’s ever been. “I love you too.”   
  
  
**_The light._ ** ****_  
_ ****_  
_ **_The dark._ ** ****_  
_ ****_  
_ **_The Force._ **   
  
**_All gone to nothing but silence._ **   
  
And in that silence she is there with him.Her hand is curled in his, her body curled into his side, and she is breathing gently and it is silence and it is bliss.

 

He pulls her close, dipping his head to hers and he presses a kiss to her mouth, all of the emotions he’s feeling pouring into that one brave moment and he feels the world shift into place. All the pieces align and it's a stinging realisation that all he needs is her.

  


A loud slap resounds across the clearing and he steps back, shock etched across his face as he’s brought back to reality. She wraps her arms around herself and then she’s crying and he’s confused.

 

**_Anger._ **

 

He’s not sure if it’s his or hers but he’s the one to force the bond closed this time, vowing to never open it again.

  


She hadn’t even known he was there. How had he found her? She blinks at the spot where he once stood and wonders for a moment what had just happened.

 

**_If you live long enough, you see the same eyes in different people._ **

 

The words Maz had spoken on Takodana ring out throughout the cavern and Rey is spinning, turning in attempt to find the source of the voice. A misstep sends her into the water. She gasps, not knowing how to swim and reaches out her hands trying to find something to grab ahold of before she finds the stony side of the cavern and pulls. She pulls herself out of the water with a loud cough and looks around, shivering.

 

The cavern has changed it’s a solid mass of darkness and she can’t see anything until she reaches for the stone wall. Once her hand makes contact it illuminates purple, and she steps closer eyes wide in wonder.

 

Brushing her fingers along the crystals Rey can’t help but smile. The glow is a beautiful amethyst colour and she gently uses her fingers to pry a couple from the wall to drop into her pants pocket.

 

Closing her eyes she reaches out with the force again. The force thrums all around her but the point she is looking for is very close and she follows the pull, running her fingers along the self illuminating gems as she goes.

 

Dropping to her hands and knees she wiggles her way into the small cavern and enters into a small burrow. It’s big enough for her to sit upright but not large enough for her to stand. Instinctually she reaches out with her hand, and the force, closing her eyes as she tries to sense what she is looking for. The rock splits under her finger and she feels the force pull. Delving her fingers into the crevice she finds a loose stone and pulls smiling when it comes free. The rock is the size of her thumb and hums against her skin, warming her cold palms as she relaxes. She’s found it. The crystal she needs.

 

She leaves the small burrow and exits the cavern trying to figure her way out. Her way in had been through the water so maybe that was her way out. She carefully lowers herself into the water and shivers at the chill before taking a deep breath and pushing away from the wall for a moment, fully submerging herself in the water.

 

After several moments she pulls herself out and gasps, coughing gently as she sets on the outcropping she had fallen from earlier. Checking her pockets she smiles. Her stones are safe. With a soft groan she stands and turns, closing her eyes to seek out Poe’s force signature before smiling and heading back to their base camp for the night.

 

It took her two hours to find her way in the dark and by that time she was mostly dry and colder than what she would have imagined with them being on a swampy tropic planet, but the chill is there and she briefly wonders why before there is movement ahead of her. Realizing she’s unarmed she drops low, pulling the force with her in attempt to be prepared as she scans her area for a threat.

 

“Rey?” She relaxes when she sees Poe. Standing she’s suddenly swooped up into strong arms and being pulled into a spinning hug. “Thank the stars. I haven’t heard from you in five hours. Where the hell have you been?”

 

“Five hours?” She blinks and looks around, wondering how long she had actually been in the cave when he sets her down. It had felt like only moments.

 

“Yeah. I was going to call for reinforcements if you weren’t back by the time the storm hit.” She realises then that Poe’s hands are still on her waist and she blushes, having never had anyone’s hands on her in such a delicate grip before. She blushes more realizing she almost prefers the bruising grip of Kylo Ren to the intimate way Poe is holding her now.

 

“I--I’m sorry.” She whispers. “I fell into a cavern of water. I must have damaged my comm device.” She pulls away shyly and heads towards their transport. “How long do we have to wait until the storm hits?” She asks, looking at the dark sky.

 

“I should be able to get us out now, but it will be cutting it close.” Rey nods at his words and follows him, allowing him to help her into the passenger seat before he sets up the systems so they can head to Naboo.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final lifetime scene is based off of this image I found on Pinterest. Ove tried to find a link to the OP but havent found anything, if someone knows where to find the original posting of this image can you let me know so I can link directly to it?
> 
> https://pin.it/u2epdemcemuts5
> 
> Also, The last half of this chapter takes place in the Temple of Pomojema. The self illuminating crystals are Thaissen crystals, the one she finds in the hole in the cavern is a fragment of the Kaiburr Crystal that had once resided there. More will be explained in future chapters


	4. Reyn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, chapter 4. I hope you enjoy this chapter. We get to see a softer side of Kylo Ren, however don't be disappointed, we will have moody Kylo back in the next couple of chapters. I'm currently working on chapter 10 and will (hopefully) be posting on a weekly basis from here on out. Sometimes it will be a single post and maybe some days will be double posts.

“We’ll have to make a stop at Chardaan or we won’t make it to Pax.” Poe’s voice startles Rey from her thoughts and she hums nodding at him. They’ve been traveling for only a couple of hours, but she knows that it would be wise to refuel if the map is correct in showing that there are over three thousand parsecs between Chardaan and Pax.

 

“How long will we be there?” She asks curiously looking at the map humming gently. She had seen so many new planets since she had joined in the fight for the resistance. She had seen Starkiller base covered in snow, rainy Ach-to, salty Crait for a brief moment and wild Norval II and she wonders how Chardaan will be.

 

“Couple of hours. We’re meeting some resistance contributors and joining their flight to Naboo. Maybe we could grab lunch or something.” He turns to give Rey a wink and she feels her cheeks flush in embarrassment dipping her head in a non-committal motion as she tries to come up with a way to refuse.

 

Their entrance to Chardaan is simple, completely unnoticed until they land in the shipyard. Several people come out, one requesting for identification which Rey and Poe gladly give them. They get by with no fuss and are shown to the transport waiting room. Rey is uncomfortable walking so close to Poe in the silence but he is talking to one of the commanding officers of the base so she takes a moment to look him over.

 

Poe was different than Finn, she knew but she hadn’t really gotten to know much about him. Looking him over she couldn’t help the small smile that twitched on her lips. His face was thinner than Finn’s, his jaw more angled with a constant flow of stubble along it. His hair had a wave to it and was slightly unkempt from the wind that had almost thrown her to the ground. His arm is around her before she can fall, and she realizes how small she is compared to him.

 

She misses Finn, even if it had only been two days since she had seen her friend she still missed his presence. Her body didn’t react to Finn the way it was reacting to Poe. His expression of concern makes Rey blush but she gives him a reassuring smile and lets him lead her, afraid she may fall over if he lets go. His shoulders are broad but not as wide as Finn, but he feels stronger than Finn does if she recalls the last embrace they shared. His closeness makes her body tingle and her heart beat faster and she remembered how he had touched her gently on Mimban and she frowned drawing away once they had entered the transport building. He touched her and held her like she would break.

 

Rey’s mind flashes back to the moments she had shared with Kylo Ren. How his grip had been almost bruising on her hip as he had kissed her and how her body had reacted with a sharp buzz and her heart had tried to leap out of her throat and she wondered why she reacted that way to him but not to Poe. Letting out a soft sigh she takes a seat and keeps her eyes low, licking her bottom lip as she waits.

 

Poe’s laugh is loud in her ear, causing her to start suddenly and she turns to look at him her bottom lip caught between her teeth. “We may be here longer than planned.” He states looking over at her with a curious sort of look in his eye. Rey frowns.

 

“Why?” She asks looking around curiously.

 

“We’ve been offered a room for the night because there’s a storm about to hit that is going to make leaving the atmosphere impossible for several hours,” Poe responds standing when their driver has arrived. Rey looks at his offered hand and frowns again before standing, ignoring it as she stalks across the way towards the waiting transport. She slides in and he slides in beside her, dropping his arm over the back of the seat across her shoulders. She shifts uncomfortably but says nothing.

 

* * *

 

Kylo Ren is in the training room again. He’s furious. He’s furious at himself for being distracted. Furious that he has let himself be distracted by her. Furious that his Knights have realized he’s distracted. Furious at her for distracting him. Furious that he can’t stop thinking about her. Furious about the force visions of lifetimes real or not. Furious that he couldn’t control the undeniable urge he has to go to her. Furious with the Force for making this bond.

 

His saber slices through training droids like they are hot butter, melting metal and wire and reveling in the smell of burning metal and plastic. He yells and yells. Letting all of his fury warp around him in swoops of pure rage and power that would probably kill someone if they were within his proximity.

 

He hates this. Hates the pain and agony he had felt watching the visions. Hates himself for being distracted. Above everything else, though he hates that he didn’t hate her. He hates the way she looks, the way she feels in his hands, pulled close to his body. Hates how he can’t have her. Hates how she refused him and hates how he still wants her even though she doesn’t want him. He’s so angry he throws his saber across the room and just yells.

 

When his voice cracks he heaves a heavy breath, calls his saber to his hand and latches it to his belt before stalking out of the room, leaving destruction behind him.

 

“Prepare my ship.” He states to a black-clothed officer who nods and turns to follow orders, running from him.

 

“I’m going to Chardaan.” He states as he force opens the doors to the main bridge. “Keep scanning for Rebel scum.” Hux looks at him curiously but nods, knowing better than to really argue with Kylo Ren at that moment, having watched the security video crackle into static at his exertion of the force in the training room.

 

“I’ll send a squad with you.”

 

“No.” Ren states and Hux nods turning back to the console to resume his work and Ren raises his eyebrow but turns on his heel to head to his ship.

 

* * *

 

 It’s raining when he arrives. He’s dressed in a plain black cloak over a dark sweater, dark glasses and black jeans, his face is hidden as he tries to keep from being noticed. He makes his way to the bar he frequents when they are near Chardaan and knows none of the patrons here will recognize him. The bell above the door dings and his teeth grind as he enters.

 

“Wren it’s been a while.” The bartender calls and Ren nods moving to sit at the bar. The club isn’t open yet but he desperately needs a drink so he sits at the bar and a glass is given to him before he can even ask. This place was as safe as Kylo Ren could get in the universe that he now ruled. He sips the burning amber liquid with a hum as he looked around, not really looking at anything.

 

He’s finished his first glass and about to request another when he sees her and his heart gives a painful lurch that he hates. And his next motion makes his hate boil even more as he’s out of his seat and stalking out the door.

 

It’s pouring outside, a torrential rain that would easily soak through any jacket or shirt and he realizes as he follows her that she’s not even wearing one. She’s wearing that ridiculous blue vest and armbands that offer no protection from the rain whatsoever. She’s absolutely soaked to the bone and this angers him even more.

 

He stalks after, his strides easily overcoming her small steps until he is able to lift his cloak over her head. Her steps falter and she looks up confused. Realization dawns on her face and she pulls back with a gasp, her back hitting the brick of the building they are standing so close to.

 

“I didn't even feel the pull this time.” She whispered looking around in confusion. He had been able to touch her through the force bond but never manipulate the environment as he had done.

 

“There wasn’t one.. Unless you’re not on Chardaan?” Her eyes give him his answer and he nods taking her arm with more force than necessary to pull her back under his cloak. “Why don’t you have a cloak or something?” He asked as he resumed their path, unsure where she was going but remembering that they had been heading in that direction.

 

“What are you doing?” Rey asks looking up at him with curious eyes.

 

“Walking you to where ever you were planning on going. I’ve got plans to kill you myself, not let you die because you got sick from your own stupidity.” Rey glares up at him and he wonders for a moment why he had even stopped to help her. What that the truth? Would he feel cheated if she died before he could kill her? Yes. But even more than that he would feel cheated not being able to get to know her. “Where are you headed?” He asks not realizing where she was going.

 

“The hotel. I got lost.” She admits her voice soft as she looks around unsure of where exactly they are. She looks at her arm as his hold loosens and slides down to grip her wrist. It’s not a light touch like Poe’s but it’s not forceful like it had been earlier either.  She doesn’t know why she answers him honestly or why she doesn’t pull away once his grip has eased but she’s shivering and just wants to take a hot shower.

 

Ren hears her teeth click together as she begins to shiver and he frowns. She’s going to get sick in the rain like this. He turns his head and notices they aren’t far from the only hotel near the Shipyard and he nods his head to let her know. “That hotel?” He asks and she turns before nodding.

 

“I... Yes... Thank you.” She breathes a sigh of relief but turns to face him, confusion in her eyes. “Wh-” His voice is bare and soft as he interrupts her.

 

“I’m sorry.” She raises her eyes to his, her thoughts suddenly silent.

 

“I’m sorry?” Rey asks, tilting her head to the side confusion evident on her face.

 

Ren licks his bottom lip looking at his feet and suddenly feeling conflicted. He’s the Supreme Leader of the first order and the Leader of the Knights of Ren. He hasn’t had to apologize for anything since he was a child. His anger flares but it’s at himself for suddenly feeling so weak under her gaze.

 

“I’m sorry I kissed you like that the other day.” Rey scans his face trying to figure out what he’s talking about when realization dawns on her that he’s genuinely apologizing for kissing her without her consent, no malintent evident on his face.

 

“Oh…” Ren’s eyes flash to her face for a moment and he sees realization there and suddenly he feels shy.

 

“I..” The blush that covers her cheeks sends a thrill through him and the wind presses him closer to her and his mouth is suddenly dry. She wraps one small arm around his back to keep from falling over at the strong wind and she’s suddenly pressed against his side and she realizes how small she is compared to him. He’s larger than Poe, his shoulders wider and his height several inches more. His touch isn’t as confident as Poe’s as he holds the cape of his cloak over her head. His back is wet from the rain but he doesn’t seem to notice, his face as red as hers at their close proximity. “I-I’m sorry I slapped you.” She whispers licking her bottom lip as he licks his and she remembers the kiss from before.

 

“You were within your right to. I-I may be a monster but that… I’d never force myself on you. Ever.” Ren whispers, a confession and a promise all in one and Rey blushes more. The wind lets up and he tears his eyes from her face as he switches arms his right arm wrapping around her waist while the left holds the cloak over both of their heads, his hair dripping water down his face. He pulls her forward towards the hotel.

 

He lingers at the door once they reach the hotel, his goodbye halted on his tongue when she looks up at him. She’s absolutely soaked, her hair matted to her face and neck and he knows he’s in the same state. “I..I have a separate room from Poe.” She whispers and he frowns at her. She tugs him forward and before he realizes what is happening he’s following her through the lobby and out a door down the path to cottages that line the lake there. Loud thunder rolls overhead and her steps falter and she gasps cringing back against his chest. He chuckles softly.

 

“You’re not afraid of me but you’re afraid of thunder?” His voice is like honey, whispered against her hair, and he wonders who the hell this person is that has taken over his mind and body.

 

“Is that what that is?” She asks looking around in confusion. He nods. “It’s the sound made when lightning heats the air around it.” Rey was about to ask what lightning was but a large bolt streaks across the sky and she squeals turning and burying her face into his chest as another loud crack of thunder rolls across the sky. He chuckles again and pulls the key free from her trembling fingers to slide open her door, gently shoving her in. He sets the key on the table by the door and moves to pull it shut, intent on leaving. But another crack of thunder, louder than the first two, has her collapsing to her knees with a strangled cry of his name. “Ben!”

 

His heart constricts and he knows he’s going to hate himself for this later. Stepping into her room he presses the door shut behind him and discards his soaked cloak on the floor before reaching down to scoop her up into his arms,  a motion that mirrors their time on Takodana. He remembers being scared of storms when he was younger.

 

Stalking over to the bathroom he opens the door and sets her on the counter before turning on the hot water of the shower. “Shower. You’ll feel better.” He states. She nods and he steps out of the bathroom, hoping she’ll obey even though she’s still shaking. The thunder is less in the bathroom and he knows it will help. He finds the washer and dryer unit while searching for her belongings. He finds her bag and pulls out clothes, a shirt, and pants. He pulls on their bond a bit to see if she’s showering and feels the hot water on his skin and that’s enough. He cracks the door and sees her soaked clothes there on the counter. He scoops them up and replaces them with dry clothes before tossing her wet things in the dryer.

 

He’s at the door when he hears her voice in his head.

 

_Stay? Please?_

 

Rey’s voice sounds so broken, like it had sounded on the Supremacy, and Ren’s heart aches thinking about it. He sighs heavily and pulls open the dryer to throw his cloak, hoodie, and jeans in with her clothes.

 

She curls into his side when they lay down. She is still warm and damp from the shower, her tears less, but she still gasps when thunder rolls overhead. He sighs gently, knowing he would do anything for her as he curls his fingers into her hair, letting the strands slip through them as he tries to lull her to sleep.

 

How can he be right for her without giving himself up completely? He was darkness. He loved the darkness.

 

His thoughts are a jumble of emotions when he feels her fall asleep, her body no longer trembling and exuding anxiety. He realizes in that moment that he loves her light more than the darkness.

 

And in that moment he’s **_terrified._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like my writing don't forget to leave a comment and some Kudos <3 You can also find me over on [tumblr ](http://sirirps.tumblr.com) where I happily take writing requests of all sorts and love to bounce ideas off of people.


	5. Nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, boys and girls, this is the chapter that earns us the Mature Rating and the rape/non-con and underage warnings come in. While it's a necessary piece of our Reylo Puzzle ( You will figure out why in later chapters) it's not a very long or detrimental piece. If you wish to skip it that's fine, the nitty gritty stuff starts at the second break (marked with a star) and ends at the 3rd break (also marked with a star). IMHO it's not too bad. The illusion is there but it's not fully descriptive but I feel that a warning is needed none the less. Keep calm and read on.

“Kriff! Kriffing Kriff!” Rey sighs heavily as Poe’s voice screeches through the headset over her ear and she leans up a bit to have a view of the sky from where they are flying. 

 

“Nav charts were off,” Poe calls back to her, his fingers working wildly across the controls trying to set up the calculations for them to jump back into hyperspace before they are noticed by the First Order destroyers they had dropped out of hyperspace behind. This ship had limited ammo and it was nowhere near enough to take on a full-blown destroyer and make it out successfully alive. 

 

“I’ll contact the General and see what she would like us to do!” Rey had already been trying to tune into the Resistance’s frequency when she receives Poe’s okay. 

 

“This is Rogue Red to Home base. Home base do you copy? Over.” Rey waits three minutes before calling out again. “Home base this is Rogue Red, Do you copy? Over.” The radio crackles to life and for a brief moment in time Rey fears they have been heard by their enemies.

 

“Rogue Red this is Rogue White I copy. Over. ” Finn’s voice crackles across the comm and Rey relaxes.

 

“Rogue White, Red Leader and I have come across Bogey Six. Calculating return and requesting command. Over.”

 

“Rogue Red, Leader White says to return to base. Cotillion efforts have been set back. I repeat calculate return home, do not engage. Over.”

 

“We copy, Rogue White. Calculating return to base. Will resume contact when available. Over.” 

 

“Copy, Copy Rogue Red. Get back safe. Over.” 

 

“Will do Rogue White. Over and Out.” The line cuts to static and Rey flips the switches that disengage any of the communications and flips up the shield generators so they can prepare for their jump back to hyperspace.

 

“Take us home Poe.” 

 

“Will do kid.”

 

* * *

 

Three weeks go by without contact through the force. 

 

She's ignoring him and it drives him insane. 

 

He wonders several times over those three weeks if she was ignoring him because he had disappeared in the middle of the night when the storm had let up? He had heard Rey’s companion enter his room next door and even though he wanted nothing more than to lay with her all night, he knew that there would be trouble if her companion, the pilot, decided to make his presence known and try to wake Rey. He had enjoyed the way her body felt under his arm, the threadbare shirt she wore letting her heat seep through into the bare skin of his forearm curled around her waist. Oh how he had wanted to stay, but he knew what implications would be left if he had woken up with her in his arms. Not to mention leaving Hux in charge of the fleet for any unsupervised amount of time was not a good idea. 

 

While he had originally wanted the power Snoke had promised him, now that he had it he was having serious doubts on whether this was the place he was meant to be. His anger flares every time he realizes that he only had one reason to question himself and it was her. It was all her fault.

 

_ Darkness raises and light to meet it. _

 

Ren rolls his shoulders as Snoke’s works curl through his mind again. He has heard them several times before but he knows now that Snoke had been right. The destruction of Luke’s lightsaber had been all the evidence Kylo Ren needed to know that she was indeed his equal in the use of the Force, however, he still wonders how easily she would let herself be overcome by another and the thought nags him.

 

He wonders for a brief moment if she was the pull to the light he had desperately begged the force to release him from when he was beseeching the mask his grandfather had once worn, a symbol of the power that Ben Solo had desired and Kylo Ren now grasped easily between two hands. But he felt incomplete, as he always had, that spark of light deep in his chest breathtaking and hard to ignore even though he knew he could never be truly light again, not after all the blood that rested on his hands. 

 

Maybe, just maybe, she could be the light and he could be the dark and together they could bring the harmony his grandfather had been prophesized to bring but had failed to do so in his lust for power. Maybe there was something to that. He would have to go back to Naboo and read through the histories again, left by the once famed Obi-Wan Kenobi for his mother and Luke in the home where Anakin and Padme had first fallen in love. The Library of History in lake country.

 

*

* * *

 

 

Terror, sheer and painful, bridges the Force and flows into his mind and it startles him from the haze that had enveloped his mind after several moments of attempting to doze. It's dark in his room and he had been almost asleep when he felt it spike through him. He shifts onto his side, drawing in that connection because it is an emotion that he draws power from and is comfortable in. When he realizes he’s pulled the images causing the terror to him as well, however, he instantly regrets it.

 

Terror would be something he would relish in any other time, but she's just a child. Merely five or six. Her screams are loud, terrified and pained as she’s held down by two men. The sense of terror, betrayal, and fear he feeds off of is prevalent, but this time he wants nothing to do with this. This scene is deplorable and heinous and nullifies the promise he had given her days before. Her screams shake him to his core, splintering the cold fist on his heart, and he throws a hand out shouting all the rage he’s felt the last few days. Rage. At her. At himself. At the entire Force for making him  _ care _ about someone other than himself. 

 

His yell mingles with her final terrified scream and the two men go flying from her. There. This is where the feeling of her force power starts even though it’s accidental. It’s headier now, especially when they are together, but in this force dream, it’s there but just. She scrambles up bleeding, sobbing and filthy, turns and runs. 

 

The dream shifts without his permission and she is curled up in a torn apart AT-AT, knees pulled to her chest as she sobs. In that moment looking at her bare legs, blood barely hidden under the shift she wears and mingled with dirt he feels the ice shatter from around his heart as he looks her over.

 

Tentatively he reaches out and brushes her cheek with cold fingers curious to see if he could soothe away the nightmare he had pulled himself into. In the next moment, he has her scooped into his arms, her face pressed against his shoulder as she lets out a sobbing wail. “Hush now.” He whispers rocking the small girl in his arms. “It will be fine little starshine. Someday you will have everything you could ever dream of.” His words are sincere and he knows that as much as he hates them he means them honestly. He knows she is his weakness but he also knows that she could be his greatest strength - if he could get her to join him.

 

*

* * *

 

 

Rey’s mind is a chaotic storm of colors and sounds as she sleeps, memories from her childhood blurring with most recent events until she settles on one. Rain.

 

Until just recently, Rey had never seen rain before. It had never rained in Jakku, not anywhere where she had seen it, that's why there were moisture farms. Sniffling she shivers, frowning. This was a cold rain, not warm like it had been on Ach-To but more like the rain she had been caught in on Chardaan. Something is off. Her heart sinks as she looks around at the surrounding darkness and the flashes of light, the brief feeling of pain and anger and  _ betrayal _ and Rey knows what she was witnessing something she has seen before but never felt. Not like this. She hadn’t been allowed into his mind when the memory had been shown to her, she had only watched as an outsider but now, now she was a participant watching the cycle of his darkness progress into other, more complicated emotions.

 

The scene changes then and they’re in a basic bedroom everything dark and black and chrome and he’s standing there dressed in a dark tunic and light pants that match her own. He’s her height, not an inch more, and she startles at the realization at how young he actually was, how long he had fought Snoke’s influence before his hand was forced by Master Luke’s betrayal. Fourteen-year-old Ben Solo turned Kylo Ren. His hands are over his ears and he is yelling, screaming in the same devastatingly raged out way she had heard before when he had attacked her in his room.

 

She steps forward and then they're so close she can touch him. In the moment she does she can feel it; the heavy weight of the Force  _ screaming  _ in his head. All the agony and pain he has just caused, killing younglings and teenagers in their beds, the utter destruction of students of the light all thrown together into one loud sensation of anguish and pure and total  **_devastation._ **

 

Her eyes prickle and sting and with her hands still around his shoulders, his head bowed to her breast with loud screaming sobs, she notices that they are not alone. The image of him holding her tiny battered form singes a new feeling, a new jolt, in her heart that causes her to gasp.

 

The gasp is loud enough that it causes Ren to look up, eyes wide at being caught for a moment before they soften. 

 

**_“I’m sorry.”_ **

 

The scene shifts and Ren is back in his room. His shirt is damp but to his surprise, his arms aren't empty. 

 

Rey is openly sobbing now and Ren’s breath trembles as he tries to tamper his own emotions. She feels the movement of his thoughts and rests a hand on his cheek, turning him to face her. She has never felt more connected to someone than in that moment, their darkest secrets and deepest pains laid open and bare between them. Her eyes are red-rimmed but bright, a combination of the swirl of shared emotions between them. “Don't shut me out.” She whispers licking her bottom lip. “Please?” and in that moment she shifts, pressing her mouth gently against his.

 

He’s completely at her mercy now, he knows, but he can’t bring himself to really care. Rey is cold in his arms and he pulls her closer, her mouth still on his, and runs his hands along the bare parts of her arms, trying to warm her small body with his own body heat.

 

“Where are you?” He asks when he pulls away. He knows she won’t tell him, but maybe if he can get a read on her surroundings he could go to her, covet her and never let another lay a hand on her. He knows her trauma, why she pulled away from him when he had tried to kiss her last. He had thought that maybe there had been another, someone else she had been seeing, kissing, bedding, and that thought causes the anger to flare enough to cause her to pull away in surprise, her lips tingling from the small current of electricity that had sparked between them. 

 

Her jaw sets and she sits up. “That was stupid. I don’t know why I did that.” He sits up and she moves to leave, begging the Force to take her back to her room, back to her sleep, but his hand wraps around her elbow and pulls, tugging her to stand in between his parted legs. His free arm wraps around her torso, to grip her side, the other hand that had held her elbow drops to her hip and he pulls her closer, pressing his face into her breast and letting out a feeble sigh coupled with a soft noise akin to a sob.

 

“I’m sorry.” He whispers then and Rey gasps as his fingers press a little more into her hip, anchoring him to her, as he lets out another soft pitiable noise. She wants to comfort him in that moment of anguish and she does. Reaching her hands up to curl her fingers in his hair - one at his crown and the other at his nape- she leans down the barest of distances and presses her face to his hair, her lips to his scalp, pressing kisses there as she tries to quell the sobs that threaten to escape her own throat.

 

She feels him break down under her fingers, and her heart stutters, surprised by the sudden wave of emotions she can feel coming off of him. He’s holding her so tightly like he’s trying to meld their bodies together, an almost bruising grip, but she allows it, knowing he needs the connection more than the pain inconveniences her. 

 

Ren’s breath hitches and Rey frowns wondering if he had heard that thought. His hand pulls away slowly, slipping up to the edge of her pants, tugging carefully to expose the flesh where his fingers had dug into her hip bone. He had heard. She tries to push away, protesting softly. “Ben” 

 

He shushes her, lips carefully caressing the crescent-shaped marks his nails had pressed into her hips, the sensation causing her protest to die on her lips. Her exposed flesh prickles with goosebumps and she shivers, earning the flash of an earnest smile from him before his head whips to the side suddenly distracted. Rey feels him tense for a moment and she is suddenly in her own room again, no longer in their shared dreamscape.

 

* * *

  
  


Kylo Ren lets out a loud angry yell throwing off his shirt quickly, the fabric causing his hair to stick up at odd ends, and dries his face before slamming his hand on the door release. “This better be of detrimental importance or I will have your head.” He growls, forcing his lightsaber into his hand to ignite it menacingly.

 

General Hux stands at his door a frown and poorly masked contempt set upon his face. “There’s an urgent communique from the Retribution, Supreme Leader. Apparently, there was some sort of Rally in one of the Mid Rim systems. The Rebels are gathering strength, but also so scattered our sources can’t pinpoint an actual base for them. It seems they’re still evading our tracking in that damned trashcan of a ship and they’ve actually commandeered other ships as well now.” Kylo grabs his cowl from beside the door and throws it on gesturing to the door for it to slide shut behind him. 

 

“Show me.”

 

Going over the list of possible planets that the Republic is known to hold parties at Ren hummed gently brushing a hand through his hair. “These are all small planets. We would be wise to send out scouts to each proposed location and see if these rumors hold any merit to them. Since I have business on Naboo, I shall take that planet, I’m sure one of our spies there may have more information we could use.”

 

General Hux nodded. “Shall I send out squadrons to the other six planets and see what they can find?” He asks, eyeing Kylo Ren suspiciously. Ren just nods, waving his hand as he turns on his heel and exits the room, intent on returning to his bed to actually attempt to get some sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, If you like my writing come give me prompts on Tumblr. I may start posting them on here once this story is done, so who knows :) my [Tumblr](http://sirirps.tumblr.com) is always open for questions, comments, and concerns. <3


	6. Lunch

When they finally arrived in Naboo’s Lake country, three weeks after their originally planned date,  Rey’s reaction is that of when they landed on Takodana, pure amazement and wonder. Naboo is a beautiful landscape of greens. The lake house they were staying at is built on an outcropping, right on the lake at the bottom of steep mountain cliffs, and all Rey wants to do is just explore the entire time, in fact she would prefer it to attending the formal lunch she was scheduled to attend with Leia before the night’s gala. 

 

Stepping out of their boat Rey looks around, taking a deep breath of the warm air and trying to get steady after sitting for so long in a boat she had no control over. She has slowly begun to become claustrophobic on long trips, her mind and body still not used to the captivity of a ship after spending so much of her life being outdoors in the Jakku desert. Being in a boat was almost worse, the swaying making her feel ill enough that she had clung to Finn’s hand for most of the ride, taking deep breaths.

 

The air almost sparkles with Rey’s excitement as she bounds from the boat’s loading ramp across the way to the lake overlook. 

 

“It’s so beautiful.” She states aloud trying to take in as much as her eyes would allow before her attention is drawn back to Leia and her friends.

 

“Indeed it is. Let’s go get you situated in your rooms and then maybe we can get a bit of a history lesson before we have to head back to Theed for lunch.” Rey frowns looking back at Leia with a soft sigh. She didn’t want to get into the boat again, didn’t want to leave the safety of the shore. “Come now.” Leia leads the way into the lakehouse, Rey taking in the architecture as she follows.

 

“I believe this room would suit you, Rey.” Leia stops outside of one door, pushing it open slowly. “This was once meant to be mine and Luke’s room,” she states as they enter the room, Rey looking at Leia curiously. “My birth mother owned this whole property, as the formerly elected queen of Naboo.” Rey’s breath caught in her chest. She hadn’t expected to be staying somewhere that had been so historical and so personal for Leia, for Ben. 

 

Her heart fluttered at the thought of Ben Solo, of the images from her dreams, the kiss and the moments they had shared before they were interrupted. Nodding Rey steps in, accepting the garment bag that held her gowns and other things Leia had deemed necessary for this excursion. “A-alright.” she agrees softly. 

 

“I’d suggest a bath as well, take some of the aches out of the long trip. I’ll be back in an hour.”

 

Once she is alone Rey hangs up her gowns and looks around the room. The entirety of three walls are windows separated by stone pillars, warm summer breezes flowing through the thin curtains. She felt so free and alive in this space. The curtains are thin but opaque so no one can see in or out of them, but the warmth still slips through and soothes her anxious mind.

 

Stepping into the bathroom she is happy to note there is only one window that is open, the rest sealed by glistening opaque glass with ornate designs carved in gold on them. Setting the taps on the large tub she carefully strips, having never had a real bath like this one and wants to enjoy it for as long as she can. She lets herself relax into the hot water, groaning softly as the heat seeps deep into her bones. It soothes the exhausted ache she feels all over from years and years of abuse and the sudden change of being more sedentary than she had previously been. The hot water soothes everything and pulls her to doze. She startles herself awake after a few moments and sets about washing herself, making careful work of washing her hair with the expensive smelling soaps offered on the counter surrounding one edge of the tub.

  
  


Moving to sit on the bed in one of the lush towels she had found on a shelf in the bathroom Rey smiles wondering how long she could get away with taking a nap before they would come to help her prepare for her lunch with Republic leaders. Her thoughts are interrupted by a knock at her door.

 

Leia stands at the door, smiling gently when Rey carefully opens it, peeking her head around the wooden door to see who it was before opening the door all of the ways and allowing the General in. “I brought you something,” she states, holding out a small box. Rey steps aside to allow Leia to enter more before moving to sit at the vanity table that had been set up with various things that most people assumed a woman would need, various perfumes, lotions, and soaps. Rey takes the box in hand and smiles gently, opening it to find a small chain attached to the kyber crystal from Luke’s lightsaber. She blinks up at Leia in confusion. “I don’t. I don’t understand. I gave it to you because it belongs to your family. It was Anakin's and then Luke’s.” 

 

Leia silences Rey’s protests with a raised hand. “I had them split the crystal, part for you and part for me.” She gestures to the small crystal on a chain at her wrist before giving Rey a small smile. “That saber was as much yours as it was his. It had bonded with you and it only felt right that you have a part of that, carry a part of that with you always.” Setting aside the box Rey stood giving Leia a hug. 

 

“Thank you. I love it.” Leia smiles hugging back before stepping away to make sure the door was closed. 

 

“Go change and we will get you ready for lunch.” Rey frowns but obeys retrieving the light blue gown that had been made for her for the lunch.

 

“You look stunning.” Rey shifts a bit, uncomfortable with the plunging neckline, and the fact that she can’t wear a wrap as she had become comfortable wearing, but this is a customary dress for formal Naboo gatherings. Rey felt stunning, but a bit shy at the amount of skin she was showing even though the dress was one of the more modest of the selection she had been given. 

 

Stepping forward Leia pulled the kyber necklace from its box and stepped around to carefully wrap it around Rey’s throat, the crystal heavy but a comfort against her skin. “Stunning.” She whispers before leading Rey to sit at the vanity so she can help with her hair. “Since this is a lunch we will do something simple but kept away from your face since you don’t have the hair length for an actual Naboo hairstyle.

 

After about ten minutes of figuring out and navigating her hair, she and Leia had decided on a style that complemented the dress without pulling away from it, a side chignon, pinned with beautiful jewel studded pins. “We’ll go without makeup, you’re too beautiful to hide the natural beauty from the world with makeup.” Leia gives a smile and nods, “I think we’re ready. I’m going to check on the boys and the guard and then we will be ready to leave.” 

 

Rey stands in front of the full-length mirror drawing in every detail of herself. She looks like someone completely different from the person she had been an hour before.

 

**_Beautiful._ ** The sudden voice in her head causes Rey to jump and she looks around to find the source only to have the feeling fleet from her mind before she could really grasp onto it before she could question how long he had been watching her or why.

 

“Rey?” Finn’s voice carries through the door and Rey frowns, turning from the mirror to open the door. Finn has a large grin plastered on his face when Rey opens the door. “Wow.. you look Wow.” He turns his attention to Poe who had been examining the carvings on her door before he looked up as well. 

 

“You clean up well,” Poe teases earning himself a slap on the arm from Rey as she laughs.

 

“Let’s get this over with,” Rey states smiling when Leia joins them at her door and they make the trek to the loading bay where they would be loaded into a boat and brought back to Theed.

 

* * *

 

The meetings had gone well, but now that Rey was alone overlooking the city of Theed she was beginning to feel a bit overwhelmed. A hand touches her bare back and she jumps turning quickly swinging blindly to have her hand caught by the figure standing near her. 

 

“Get away for a moment or two.” He whispers dark into her ear and she knows who it is but how had he gotten here? Why was he here? Looking up she catches the glimpse of dark eyes beneath dark curls and her breath catches before she falls back against the rail. “Just a moment or two.” His lips brush her ear as he whispers against her skin and there’s a flutter of a curtain and he’s gone, Poe standing at the door to the balcony.

 

“Are you alright?” Poe asks, taking a step towards her.

 

“I-I’m fine.” Rey rights herself to stand properly before rubbing her cheeks with her hands. “I’m feeling a bit faint actually.” Poe offers his arm and she gladly takes it, following him back to where Leia is conversing with one of their possible contributors.

 

“Are you alright?” Leia asks and Rey nods slowly wondering what it is about her face had made the question needed twice within the last minute and a half. “I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed and faint. I think... I think I may need to lay down for a bit.” She states honestly, she feels breathless and light headed and has to be carefully lowered down into a chair.

 

“There’s a private guard that can escort you back to the lake house if you’d like.” One of the former senators states and Leia nods, waving over one of the private hired guard, a man in a dark blue uniform. He has his hair pulled back and a dark visor covering half of his face, but she feels safe when his presence comes forward.

 

“I can imagine all of this has been a bit overwhelming for you. Go rest back at the lake house. The fresh air will do you some good.” Rey nods accepting the arm of the guard and allowing herself to be lead back to where they had entered the large Senate building. The guard maintains silent and Rey is thankful for it, having had enough of small talk and attempted conversations with people she doesn't know.

 

Once they arrive back on the outcropping of the lake house she looks around and takes a slow breath, allowing the guard to steady her before escorting her into the house. She retreats to her room and lays down wondering how long it would be until he would breach their Force Bond once more. 

 

* * *

 

A knock at her door rouses her from her slumber and she lets out a soft sigh as she stands to answer the door only to let out a startled yell, coming face to face with Kylo Ren.  She turns to yell for the guard but he steps into the room and grabs her elbow, pulling him to her. “There’s no one here.” He steps closer, grip loosening against her elbow. He’s wearing the guard’s uniform, the helmet laying in the hall near the door, and Rey takes a step back looking around. 

 

“I’m not here to fight you.” She notices then that he has come unarmed, but she isn’t completely sure whether this was some sort of trick or if he genuinely meant her no harm. 

 

“You look lovely.” He states softly reaching out to touch her bare arm with the back of his fingers. His caress is like that of the dream from a few nights ago, tender, skin barely touching skin. Goosebumps spread from the trail his touch creates and she wonders why her body reacts this way to his touch. “I’d like to know as well.” He states softly raising his eyes to hers and he’s captivated by her once more. She looks so well kept, so healthy and glowing. 

 

“Stop that.” her voice is a soft whisper but he hears it and tilts his head.

 

“Stop what?” He asks, stepping closer to strengthen the brush of his hand on her arm. “This?” His hand moves over to trace along the soft fabric curving along the swell of the side of her breast and down into the dip of her waist pulling her flush against his body. “Or this?” He leans forward brushing lips to the smooth bare skin at her shoulder and she melts into his touch, even though he can feel her mind still struggling to accept the way her body was reacting to him.

 

“I just…” Rey presses her hands against his chest and shakes her head, stepping back. “We… we can’t.” She states shaking her head again. “The help will be here soon to prepare for the party. Why are you here?” 

 

Ren’s lips press into a smirk and he slips his hand into hers tugging her towards the set of doors that would lead to her own private balcony. There’s a lunch set up on the table overlooking the lake and she lets out a soft gasp at the sight. “Did… Did you do this?” she asks quietly moving to sit at the table and looking at the food laid out there.

 

“I stole you away from your lunch.” He replies without giving a real answer, sitting across from her. He serves them both,  a piece of beautifully cooked meat covered in a white sauce each, paired with some type of plant. Rey notes that it all smells heavenly. 

 

“What is this?” Rey asks apprehensively, taking a bite of the plant humming at the pleasant taste, but weary to try the meat.

 

“Duck.” He replies carefully cutting his duck to eat a piece. “It’s a water animal, feathered and interesting to watch but even better to eat.” Rey tilts her head as she observes him a few more times before carefully picking up her cutlery and attempting to cut her meat herself. She wasn’t completely uncultured, but she hadn’t really ever sat down for a formal meal like this before. 

 

After two attempts to cut her duck as nicely as he had his hands are in her line of sight, tenderly taking her hands to switch the knife and fork before helping her slide the knife carefully through her duck. After his hands leave hers she cuts the rest and gives him a smile, catching the nod as he sits across from her once again, no words passing between them.

 

She tastes a small piece of meat, savoring it on her tongue with a small hum. It was different than anything she had ever eaten and she couldn’t help but laugh at the situation she found herself in. “Just a couple of months ago I was contemplating selling a droid for rations.” She whispers softly lifting another piece of meat to her mouth.

 

Ren listens to her talk, eating his own meal silently, briefly wondering if this was what it could be like if she was by his side. After a few moments, he decides that no this was better. Here in this small span of time and space he was just a man and she was just a woman and they were just existing without any semblance of dark or light or war surrounding them. He let out a soft noise and Rey stops talking to watch him curiously for a moment. 

 

Reaching out she touches his hand and he sets down his fork to take it. “Are you alright?” She asks, concern etched across her face. 

 

He nods, giving her a soft look. “Just thinking. You were saying?” He runs his thumb over the back of her hand once before releasing it so he could continue to eat.

 

“I was saying I assume you already know about the party tonight?” She asks the question almost shyly and he nods. “Of course you do.” She licks her lips and looks down at the dress she wears before turning her attention to the garment bag hanging on the door. “I’m not made for these kinds of things.” She states honestly and his brow creases in the middle.

 

“Well no one really is, they take a lot of practice and training.” Ren replies and Rey nods letting the conversation lapse into silence. They eat quietly until their meal is finished. Rey gives him a shy smile and the side of Ren’s lips twitch up for a moment. 

 

“Would you like to go for a walk?” He asks softly, standing and offering his hand to her. She blinks up at him and nods, taking his hand standing slowly. He carefully tucks her hand into the crook of his elbow before resting his hand on hers and giving her a small smile. “This is a beautiful place, my mother would bring me here for holiday. I learned how to dance in the ballroom and how to swim in the lake.”

 

Rey raises her eyebrows at him curiously and he lets out a low laugh. “Would you like me to show you?” He leads her back to her bedroom and into the hall. The help had begun to arrive. Stripping out of the uniform jacket he hangs it on the door before leading her down the hall to the massive dining room. Tables line the walls, having not been properly set up just yet, leaving the middle of the room free and open. He leaves her in the middle of the floor before moving to the sound system. He flips through the settings before a soft melody comes from somewhere overhead and she smiles at the soft melody. 

 

Stepping over to her, he carefully takes her hand and Rey steps back with a shy laugh. “I don’t know how to dance.” She tells him shaking her head. 

 

“Hush. Just close your eyes, and let me lead. One person leads and another follows, in most customs, it’s the man who leads while the woman follows, so let’s go with that, just for now.” She nods lifting her eyes to his, not wanting to block him out by closing her eyes. “Just follow my lead.” He starts off slow, pulling her close, taking in her gasp of surprise and nodding slowly. “Just relax. It’s like fighting with the force. Just breathe and reach out and I’ll lead.” 

 

His hand lowers to her waist, her chest meeting his and her hand is held carefully in his against his chest, his heart beat almost in time to the music, as he begins a slow sway. He hums along with the music, a familiar tune to him, she assumes, and she can’t help the shy smile that spreads across her lips. She breaks eye contact with him to rest her cheek against his chest and breathes as he sways them slowly. 

On an up beat, he pulls away a bit, putting some distance between their bodies and holding her hand more firmly. “It’s a four-count step.” He began to move with the music, his eyes find hers and another small smile twitches across his lips before he moves counting the beat out softly to her as they move. She stumbles several times and he chuckles each time she does until she’s had enough and pulls away.

 

“If you’re just going to make fun of me I’ll just return to my room. This is stupid.” She states turning away from him.

 

Catching her hand he pulls her back to him, bringing her to his chest and receiving a displeased noise in response. “Relax.” He states softly into her ear. 

 

**_Relax_ **

 

His voice is in her head then and she startles from his arms to lock eyes with him in confusion.

 

“Why do you keep doing that?” She questions, voice soft.

 

“I don’t mean to, but if you reach you can do it too. Close your eyes, breathe and reach for it.” He brings his hand back to her waist and takes the other one to hold gently in his. “Just breathe.” She closes her eyes taking a deep breath and he starts to move again. First the gentle swaying and then the four steps as before. She feels the tug of the force in her mind and she allows him in. 

 

His words are the words of the song they’re listening to with random compliments smattered in, causing her to giggle softly as they make their way around their dance floor. Rey stumbles less as he murmurs soft nothings into her ear, the song changing but the pace the same as she slowly relaxes into letting someone else be in control for a short time.

 

Her eyes open to find him watching her closely, his shoulders relaxed and his eyes free of the malice and hate he seems to carry with him always. It is just the two of them, a boy and a girl, dancing in an empty dining room like they were meant to be there, and for one brief moment, she can feel the peace between them. Feel their bond and his emotions on the edge of her perception, peace, and happiness at the forefront of darker feelings she doesn’t want to bridge at in that moment. She just wants to  _ be. _

 

His mind sings with her presence and he has forgotten all of his worries and all of the stress between them and there was only them, him and her and their small slice of peace. He closes his eyes but doesn’t close the connection, slowing their pace from the four-step to the slow side to side step, pulling her close again his hand making contact with the bare skin of her back and she realises, with a jolt curling deep in the pit of her belly, that his hands are bare. 

 

She rests her cheek against his chest as they sway together letting out a soft contented sigh before the music ends and his fingers are lifting her chin. His mouth is warm against hers, soft skin against her dry lips, and she slides her hand up to curl into the hair at the nape of his neck to let him in, opening herself up to him completely as they still swayed to the unheard music. In the next moment, he is suddenly pulling away. 

 

Opening her eyes Rey gasps at the loss and then he is gone, the only trace of him is the tingling of her lips from their kiss and the warmth on her bare back from his hand.

 

“Ben?” She asks aloud, turning once to search the room but he is gone, the music still playing and footsteps echoing in the hall. Lifting her skirt she turns to run only to fall against something solid and she squeaks. “You scared me!” She smacked the hard chest under her palm and looks up.

 

“Finn?”


	7. Preparations

“The general sent me back to check on you. The guard returned and she was afraid that someone would try to do something while you were alone.” Finn explains and Rey frowns. “When you weren’t in your room I was worried.”

 

Rey tried to give Finn a smile but looked around, confused.

 

“What were you doing in here?” Finn asks then and Rey shakes her head.

 

“I..I must have been sleep walking.” She answers, the lie easily falling from her lips and she frowns, wondering when she had begun to lie for him, for the brief moments of Ben Solo creeping from behind the mask of Kylo Ren.

 

“You’re pale, maybe we should get you back to bed.” Finn states and Rey nods suddenly feeling faint.

 

Had it all been a force dream? Had she just been imagining the moments they had shared?

 

Finn walks her back to her room as she mulls over those thoughts. The coat and helm are gone from in front of her door and she sighs softly. It had been a dream created by the Force but why did her chest hurt at the thought? Sniffling she nods to Finn as he pushes open her door, the room chilly compared to the hall. Finn frowns at Rey’s shiver and steps across the room to pull the ornate doors of the balcony closed. When he reaches the middle set he frowned turning to her.

 

“Did you have company for lunch?” He asks and she frowns walking to join him at the door.

 

Their two settings were still set at the table on her balcony and she couldn’t help the flush that creeps across her cheeks. He had been real and really here. “Oh. No. I was just really hungry. When the cook offered I couldn’t help but accept seconds, the duck was most exquisite.” Finn examines her for a minute before nodding his laugh lighting the air.

 

“Of course you were. I can’t imagine you’ve ever had real food that wasn’t cooked as a part of a cantina line before.” Finn muses aloud and Rey smiles, shaking her head. “I’ll let you get some rest. The guests will arrive in a couple of hours but I don’t think the General will expect you to make an appearance until you feel up to it.” He lets her step back inside before pulling the door closed and moving on to the final set. “I’ll have one of the help come collect the dishes before dinner, that should allow you a bit of rest.” Rey gives Finn a grateful smile before he leaves, pulling her door shut on his way.

 

Rey lets out a soft sigh and goes back to the balcony, pressing open the door carefully to make no noise before examining the table where they had shared a meal curiously. On it she notices something that wasn’t there when they had been eating. A small black box nestled under the hollowed out bottom of the vase. If she hadn’t been looking closely she would have missed it just as Finn had.

 

Carefully lifting the vase she pulls the box from its spot and replaces the vase. The crystalline box is rough in her hands but delicate and Rey moves back into her bedroom, shutting the door behind her as she goes. Sitting on her bed she carefully opens the box to find a necklace carefully nestled inside. The largest pendant is a rose gold, with crystals embedded in the face surrounding a single star cut out with a crystal in the middle. The next pendant, further up is the cut out star, embedded with it’s own crystals, and the final row, the smallest of stars are strung across.

 

She stares at it in wonder for a moment before noticing the note tucked carefully along the side. She pulls it out and slowly unfold it.

 

_ Wear me tonight. _

 

There is no indication of who wrote the note but she knows, her heart in her throat as she nods. She realises then that the nod is unneeded for he is nowhere in her vicinity at that moment and laughs to herself. Getting up she puts the box in a vanity drawer before turning to her garment bag. Pulling out the slip that would go under her evening gown she changes into it before moving to the bed.

 

She enjoys the feel of the soft fabric on her skin and runs a hand over it, brushing the barely there curves as Kylo Ren had done during their private moment. Her heart is in her throat and all of the emotions from the day, both hers and his, are weighing down on her to the point of exhaustion.

 

For one fleeting moment she wonders what on earth she has gotten herself into and what she was going to do about this dangerous game she has suddenly found herself playing, but sleep takes over then, engulfing her like the light blankets of her bed.

 

* * *

  
  


When she wakes she stretches leisurely and smiles before carefully sitting up. A knock at her door sounds and she realises this was what had brought her from her dreams a fleeting memory of lips and hands and warm breath on her skin.  _ Oh. _

 

Getting up she slowly moves to the door pulling it open carefully as to not completely expose all of scantily clad body. Poe stands at her door, tall and proud and his eyes widen for a moment before eagerly taking in the sun kissed skin that was exposed by the delicate slip.

 

“Well… Not the greeting I was expecting but…” He lets his eyes rove over her once more, lips tilting into a smirk that makes her uncomfortable. His gaze feels different than Ren’s had been on her, more primal and need filled compared to the appreciative way Ren had touched her. Shifting behind the door more she blinks.

 

“D-did you need something?” Rey asks, flush creeping up across her cheeks, her hands shaking on the door.

 

“Leia sent me to see how you were feeling and if you needed help getting ready.” His eyes linger on her skin again and she swallows.

 

“I’m feeling a lot better, thank you. I’ll be fine getting ready alone except for my hair. I’m not quite sure what to do with it. If you could send for her…” Rey licks her bottom lip nervously, noting that his eyes haven’t moved from the barely there strap of fabric at her shoulder. “If you could send for her or one of the handmaidens, I-I would appreciate it.” She quickly shuts the door, turning to press her back to it as she shiveres, her heart dipping low into her chest.

 

She takes a slow breath, covering her face with shaking hands and lets out a soft sob. This whole situation feels so wrong to her and she can’t shake the feeling that it will only be worse as the night progresses. The pull is there suddenly, her ears ringing in the silence before she knows he’s there, a product of the force bond.

 

Crossing her arms across her chest she sniffles and opens her eyes and he looks concerned. “What happened?” He asked in alarm, sensing her distress. His eyes trail her for a moment searching for any sign of injury and he stiffens lifting his eyes to the ceiling and clearing his throat once he realises the state of undress she was in.

 

“I-I’m sorry. I felt the pull and pulled back. I-I thought you were in some kind of danger, you haven’t ever called me like this before a-and the bond I can’t really. It…” His voice faces, his cheeks red. He unclasps the cloak from his shoulders and offers it to her.

 

“I’m okay.” Rey whispers reaching out to take the cloak, surprise spreading across her features as she touches warm soft fabric. Carefully pulling it around her body she hooks it at her throat and lets it settle heavy but comforting along her shoulders, hiding everything from view. “I.. I just panicked I guess.” She moves to sit on her bed and he follows, standing in front of her his head tilted to examine her expression.

 

“Panicked about?” He asks and she licks her bottom lip.

 

“Poe was here. His eyes… I-I didn’t like the way his eyes were on me. I felt his thoughts a-and… I’ve never… I just felt so…” Her thoughts were a muddled mess but he nods moving forward to dip onto one knee in front of her, his bare hands cradling her face.

 

“Let me see.” He wants to better understand her trepidation but is giving her the chance to refuse him. She gives him a shy nod and he carefully presses his forehead to hers, thumbs brushing along her cheek bones as he brushes her mind with his.

 

After several long moments he pulls away, fire in his eyes and she shifts back, startled. “I’ll kill him.” His voice was deep and dark and Rey could sense the emotions rolling over him. Anger, disgust, possessiveness. The last one startles her but it also sends a thrill curling into her stomach and between her legs.

 

Reaching out she touches his arm gently. “I-It’s fine.” She whispers, attempting to soothe the flurry of dark emotions in him. “I’m fine. I’m fine.” She moves to stand and he stays on his knees looking up at her curiously.

 

“You should not allow yourself to be disrespected like that.” He states, voice hard and quiet. Another shock of pleasure twists in Rey's stomach and to her core as she looks down at him. Having this powerful man, Supreme Leader of the First Order, on his knees before her makes her mind wander for a moment before she is blushing as she clears her throat.

 

“There will be many more who will look at me the same way. Especially tonight, I’ll be the one in everyone’s mind.” She looks over to the dress hanging in it’s garment bag and sighs, her discomfort growing.

 

“I’ll protect you.” He whispers, standing slowly and cupping her face in one of his large hands. “I’ll protect you.” He moves to kiss her, pressing his warm lips against hers. It’s different from the last one, more charged and heated, his hand finding her waist beneath the cloak and pulling her to him. His lips move to her neck, down to the expanse of collarbone bared to him by the cloak. “You are fire and beauty and  _ mine _ .” He bites a mark into her skin then, her gasp loud in the air above his head, heady and aroused with surprise.

 

A knock at the door breaks their serenity and she is suddenly freezing, cloak and Ren gone, the bond slammed shut around her. Moving to her garment bag she pulls out the dress. “I’m dressing.” She calls at another incessant knock. Pulling the dress over her head she attempts to right the layers of fabric but is unable to properly do so herself. With a resigned sigh she goes to the door and pulls it open.

 

Leia stands at the door, a small smile on her lips, a handmaiden at her side. “Poe said you needed some help getting ready.” Rey nods and steps aside to allow them entrance into her room.

 

“What on earth happened to your collarbone?” Leia asks when the door has been shut and Rey has turned her attention to the Resistance’s commanding officer. Rey frowns in confusion and looks down, unable to see what she is being questioned about.

 

Moving to the mirror she hums as she examines the blooming bruise on her collarbone and flushes, her cheeks and ears turning red. “I hit myself with the door earlier.” She states shyly, embarrassed. “Poe had startled me earlier and I smacked myself with the door when he came to check in on me. I got my toe pretty good, too.” She laughs gently and stands up straight as the girl Leia had brought with begins to adjust her skirts and secure the fastenings at her waist. Her gown iss dark blue, the entire top bejeweled and plunging into a low V that stops at the band around her waist. From there it flares out into silky smooth waves that make Rey shiver a bit when she moves.

 

Humming Leia seems to accept her explanation before sitting next to her. Rey smiles as the pins are pulled from her hair, her messy side chignon falling loose around her shoulders. “Maybe some loose curls,” Leia instructs to the help who nods and retrieves some device from one of the drawers. Carefully Rey pulls the box from Ren out of the same drawer and sets it on  the vanity top, remembering it’s presence suddenly. She blushes as Leia opens the box and examines the necklace before finding the note.

 

“A secret admirer?” Leia asks and Rey blushes as the note is unfolded. Recognition and realization brushes across the force and Leia turns her eyes to Rey.

 

“I...I don’t understand it either.” Rey whispers, dipping her eyes low, unable to move her head without fear of being burned. "I...I'll explain in private."

 

“Does he intend to be here tonight?” Leia asks and Rey lifts a shoulder unsure.

 

“I’ll alert the guard.” Leia moves to stand but Rey catches her arm.

 

“Please… He.. He’s been here all day.  He has done nothing threatening towards me…” Rey’s mind flashes to his threat to Poe but quashes it before continuing. “He’s alone. I know he is. Up the guard, tell them to be prepared but please. I-I’ll get him to leave on his own. He’s had chance upon chance to sound the alarm and destroy us but he hasn’t. There’s still good in him. I can feel it.”

 

Leia looks at her, face impassive. “We will up the guard. You are not to go anywhere unattended.” Rey nods in agreement gasping as the hot curling tool touches her scalp.

 

“I’m sorry miss.” The girl doing her hair states and Rey gives her a small smile in the mirror.

 

“It was my fault.” Turning her eyes to the door Rey sighs as she watches Leia’s cloak flutter out of sight dread sinking into the pit of her stomach.

 

What had she just done?


	8. Confession

He feels the bond thrum to life before he sees her and his eyes search the crowd until…  _ There.  _ The crowd parts for him easily as he walks towards her. His face is hidden by a mask. It's not his cold, dark mask but a silver wolf’s mask, but people can still feel the power and sheer will rolling off of him. It doesn’t hurt that he is several inches taller than many of the guests, his sheer size an intimidation tactic of its own.

 

Her eyes turn from the conversation she’s having for a moment, but she keeps talking, the bond pulling her attention to him but her mind still focused on the task at hand. She laughs, a light twitter and his heart constricts. He moves to her side, brushing fingers along her arm but she pointedly ignores him as she continues on talking, eyes trained back to her companions.

 

He slides into her mind, **_his lips on her neck, hands in her hair, panting, moaning, groaning._ ** Her breath catches for a moment before she clears her throat and continues what she was saying. Her hand slides into his and her companions’ eyes turn to him for a brief confused moment before she is drawing their attention away from him as if he were insignificant.

 

He feels the eyes on their joined hands, a male in a dark suit mirroring his shifts, his stance changing so his arms are across his chest, trying to seem intimidating. _Poe_ , Rey had called him, seemed distressed at the sudden appearance of another unknown man. He felt the confusion rolling off of the pilot and he smirks, shifting her hand into his left so he can rest his right hand on her lower back in a possessive move that doesn’t go unnoticed by anyone.

 

He presses a kiss to her hair then and steps away. “Come find me when you are finished.” He breathes against her hair and she squeezes his hand in agreement before he walks away, situating himself where he can keep eyes on her and, more importantly, the pilot.

 

He’s still watching, subtly, when her other companions move away to the dance floor. His blood boils as the pilot puts his hands on her and he starts across the crowd, following as they move away.

 

Rey frowns as she’s tugged into an alcove by Poe. “Who the hell is that?” He asks and Rey frowns, jealousy rolling off of Poe in waves.

 

“He’s a friend.” She breaths easily.

 

“That looked like more than a friend to me. Don’t be seduced by the men here, they’re dangerous and only looking for one thing.” He grips her shoulders and shakes her, causing her to gasp in surprise.

 

“Unhand me Poe.” Rey whispers, tears springing into her eyes in embarrassment. They’re causing a scene, several people turning curious eyes and ears towards them. A figure, tall and dark, steps between them and the prying eyes, irritation set on his face, partly hidden a mask.

 

“I believe she told you to let go.” Poe drops his hands as if he’s been burned, his mouth agape as the General stalks over towards their group.

 

“Commander. I’d like a word.” Leia sizes up the stranger and she pales slightly, recognition alight across her face for a brief moment before she gestures for Poe to walk away. Once he is out of ear shot she turns to the young couple, eyes searching the hard planes of Kylo Ren’s face for a moment before turning to Rey.

 

“You have one hour. If you are not gone within that time I will raise the alarm.” Leia’s eyes drift from Rey’s to Ren’s and she scans him again for a brief moment before turning to go to Poe. “One hour, Ben.”

 

Ren dips low in a courteous bow. “Mother.” The word is soft, a bare breath upon his lips and she is gone and he is leading Rey to the door.

 

* * *

 

The courtyard is beautiful and Rey smiles gently as she and her companion walk along a stone balcony that overlooks the large lake. “It’s so beautiful.” She whispers, scared to break their content little bubble with words but unable to not comment on the moon lit scene before them. 

 

“Yes you are.” Ren breathes, moving a loose curl hanging along Rey’s neck to replace it with his mouth earning a soft happy sigh.

 

“Someone will see.” Rey whispers and Ren laughs gently. 

 

“Let them see. I don’t care if they know.” He kisses the spot again, causing Rey to pause mid step, gooseflesh breaking across her skin that he soothes with his tongue.

 

“Lets run away.” He whispers softly and she turns, eyes wide.

 

“I-I don’t understand.” He looks down at her and her cheeks pink as she looks away. They stop and turn to look out over the lake, leaning on the railing. 

 

“From the moment I met you, you’re all I’ve thought about. When I’m not with you I’m in agony. The thought of not being with you takes my breath away.” He keeps his hands trained on the rail, suddenly all of his confidence gone. “I’m haunted by your dreams and mine. My heart is beating so fast I fear it may burst from my chest, can you hear it?” He reaches out to take her hand, curling his fingers between hers before pressing her palm to his chest, over his rapid heart beat. Her eyes flash up to his for a moment before she trains her eyes to their joined hands.

 

“You are in my very soul, tormenting me.” His voice breaks “Please… what can I do? I will do anything to ease this suffering.” He reaches across the small space and takes her chin carefully in his hand, cradling her cheek gently. In a moment of weakness she cuddles into his hand, breathing his scent deep, committing it to memory. He can feel her eyes on his face but doesn’t dare look up, baring his soul is more torture than seeing the pity in her eyes. “If you are hurting as much as I am,  _ please  _ tell me.. Please..”

 

Rey looks at their joined hands and it feels right, perfect to be here on this beautiful balcony holding hands with him like they were two normal people living a normal life. But neither of them are normal. They’re enemies, seeking to control one another and no way she spins it can Rey ever see it working. “W-We can’t …. It’s not.. It’s not possible.” She reaches up to touch his face, mirroring his own posture, her eyes seeking out his and finding them easily shining with unshed tears.

 

“Anything is possible. You need to just let go, Rey. Forget the past and please.. Just let go.” His words echo the words he spoke to her in the throne room after they had defeated Snoke and his Praetorian Guard.

 

“If we follow your thoughts through to conclusion, Ben..” Rey’s voice softens at his given name and he closes his eyes, turning his face away from the disgraceful sound, “That’s a path we can not go down regardless of what our hearts say” 

 

“So you do feel something?”

 

“I’m sorry. We just… I can’t.” Rey drops her hands and turns to walk away

 

“Please don’t walk away from me.” He pleads reaching for her. “I can’t stand it when you walk away from me.” His hand catches on her elbow like it had in her bedroom and he turns her back to face him, her light blue gown and cloak fluttering in the warm summer breeze that had begun to sweep around them.

 

“I don’t know what else to do.” Rey raises her voice, panic seeping through their bond as her voice cracks and tears threaten to spill over, mask forgotten on the table off to the side. 

 

“We can’t do this. I can never be that girl that stands by the side of someone who brings death and destruction to the people I love. This is the real world, Ben.” His name dies from her lips as his hands find her face again. Tipping it up he presses his mouth to hers and she melts into his chest for a few brief moments.

 

“It wouldn’t have to be that way. No one would have to know. We have the force bond, and we can make up excuses- “ 

 

“What kind of life would that be?” Rey steps back again, fighting tears. “That’s not fair to either of us. The strain would tear us apart.” She whispers, touching his cheek tenderly. “I’m done talking about this. You need to leave before someone notices your presence here.” She trusts that he isn’t going to do anything to harm anyone, knowing that he knew that would break the fragile existence they had carefully crafted over the past couple of months. 

 

“It would be whatever we wanted it to be, Rey. There could just be us, you and me, two lost love struck kids just looking to continue the rest of their lives only living for each other. I just want you to be happy. All I want is your happiness.” His voice breaks and he reaches for her again.

 

“Then end this war!” Rey’s voice raises again and he looks around suddenly afraid that someone is going to notice them in heated discussion. 

 

“If I knew how I would. I don’t know how to do that. If we surrender there will be no mercy shown for me. I will be executed for my crimes Rey. Don’t you understand the extent of what I’ve done?” His voice is soft but urgent, pained and all he wants to do was shake her and then kiss her. “If I could take all of that away and give you what you wanted then I would.” He doesn’t realise how hard his grip has become on her upper arm until she flinches away from him for the first time in as long as he can remember knowing her for.

 

“Y-you’re hurting me.” Her voice is soft  and he drops her arm as if he’s been scaled, frowning at his hands. He had vowed never to hurt her, had vowed to not follow down the path his grandfather had by killing the one he loved because he felt betrayed by her.

 

Rey hiccupped, wiping her nose with the handkerchief she had tucked into her waist band, sniffling gently. “I can’t.” She turned from him again, and this time he lets her go. 

 

Running a hand angrily over his face he notices her mask still sitting on the table where she had left it. Picking it up carefully he tucks it away into his breast pocket and turns, leaving Rey, the end of their discussion hanging thickly in the air, his mind churning. He didn’t know the how or when, but he knew he would have her by his side.


	9. Reformation

The bond opens daily, like the force is willing them to speak, willing her to talk to him, willing her to realise that he’s just a boy standing there asking for her to love him. Of course they aren’t just a boy and a girl. They’re Kylo Ren and Rey of the Rebellion. Rey of Jakku just doesn’t fit her any more in his mind’s eye and so he’s taken to referring to her as Rey of the Rebellion in his musings. Some days she ignores him, and other days he ignores her and it’s excruciating to not talk to her, but he’s resolved himself to letting her come to him this time.

 

It’s two and a half months before she actually says something to him.

 

“Ben.” Rey’s voice sounds pained when she calls to him and he’s thankful he’s alone because his hair falls in his eyes as how suddenly he turns around, startled. He looks her over from head to toe, trying to find any sign of injury and was relieved to notice there was nothing physically wrong with her. Worry still touches at the fringes of his mind at the tone her voice had carried.

 

“Finally decided you’ve had enough fun torturing me?” He asks eyebrows raised as he stalks closer to her.

 

“Ben…” Rey’s eyes soften and she looks like she’s ready to cry. “Ben it’s your mother.” The sentence is soft, a bare breath of air and he’s frowning confused by her words. Why would his mother be of any concern to him?

 

“She’s ill. Very much so. The medics don't think she has very much longer and there has been talk about who is next in line to lead when she does.” Rey’s voice is hushed, sad, and he can feel her pain through the bond. It takes him a moment to separate his feelings from hers.

 

“Why are you telling me this?” Ren turns, disinterested.

 

“She’s your mother!” Anger flares and he isn’t sure who it belongs to but he relishes in it for a moment before responding.

 

“I don’t care.”

 

The anger flares and he smirks. “Do you care about anything?” She actually _STOMPS_ her foot gesturing around them. “What the hell is all of this for if you don’t care about anything, _Kylo Ren_.” She spits his name out like a curse and turns stalking away from him with an angry set to her shoulders. He watches her for a few moments before a knock at his door pulls his attention.

 

One of his knights, Mira Ren stands at his door.. “Kylo, there has been talk of dissention among the ranks. I… We.. We’ve been thinking.”

 

“We who?” He asks, raising an eyebrow at the person who was only a couple of inches shorter than him and stands just as stocky and proud as he. Mira Ren was the first person he had run to when Luke had turned his lightsaber on young Ben Solo. Mira is his second in command over the Knights of Ren and has Kylo’s implicit trust with his life and the other knights. To see this person express concern like this is a change from the usual harsh demeanor Kylo had come to respect

 

“The Knights and I. We’ve been investigating this dissention and it tapers mostly down to the Absolution. Which is a problem because that's where training happens.” Ren hums, and pulls the door open wider so that Mira can enter. It has been a while since they have seen each other considering Kylo had sent all of his Knights off base seeking information on the whereabouts of Luke Skywalker.

 

“I’m going to be completely honest with you, Kylo.” Mira pulls off the dark helmet revealing a blue Twi’lek. Pulling the dark wrap loose blue lekku fall free and unhindered, and Mira gives a shake of the head as if they were hair. There is a dark scar below Mira’s bottom lip that trails down to disappear below the neck of a black flight suit but other than that, Mira could blend in with any manner of Twi’lek. This is his closest companion.

 

“I wouldn’t expect anything less,” Kylo chuckles darkly moving to sit on his bed and allowing Mira the chair.

 

“Some of the knights want out now that Snoke is gone, Kylo. We’re done with this life, done with this constant fight between us and them. We’re wholly loyal to you, you know this. We will never do anything without including you but this was a unanimous decision to bring this to your attention. We have people against us and you know that our biggest concern is your safety and ours.” Kylo listens, wondering when his knights had gotten so soft.

 

“It’s not that we’re soft Kylo!” Mira stands then, helm held tightly in hand. “It’s that it’s no longer safe here for us. If everything goes according to the plans of the dissention there will be nothing left for us to protect. Everything will turn against us. It will no longer be the First Order against the Rebellion. No. It will be The First Order versus Us versus the Rebellion. You know that many people don’t even understand why we’re here right, we were just Snoke’s playthings. There are TENS OF THOUSANDS of enlistees here on this star destroyer alone, and there are only seven of us. We need a plan Kylo.” Mira shakes out the lekku again, agitation evident in the set shoulders under the flight suit and Ren lets out a soft sigh.

 

“What do you suggest we do?” He had, once upon a time before he had met Rey of the Rebellion, been a part of a team working with Hux to do Supreme Leader Snoke’s bidding, but now he is at the top of the food chain and he knows that his reign will be nothing like that of the previous Supreme Leader’s even if he does get control of his subordinates.

 

“Call a meeting with the Knights of Ren, we should figure out a way to either end dissention, or get out before we are overthrown by lesser beings.” Mira watches Kylo with curiosity, wondering if he will take the suggestions or not.

 

The Leader of the Knights of Ren nods leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees, fisting his hands in his hair with a low groan. He had just wanted to be free, wanted to use his powers as he saw fit and how he wanted and this is where he had ended up. “We’ll try to stomp out dissention first. I assume you have an idea of who the leaders are, correct? Take out the highest ranking officers of the squadrons. I’ll make a new standing order that you and the others are the new commanding officers. For now remain passive, just keep your ears out and find out where the dissention is and what people are having issues with. You and the other knights are welcome to go helmless if you desire, but keep your weapons and direct comms handy. We don’t know how well this order will sit with everyone.” Mira gives him a small, barely there, smile and stands giving him a bow before rewrapping the lekku so the helm can be replaced.

 

“I shall carry your order to the others. If there is an uprising, what would you suggest?” Mira asks pausing at the door.

 

“Kill them.” His answer is short and to the point and Mira nods before leaving the room. Standing Kylo Ren follows, but heads in the opposite direction of his second in command.

 

In the main bridge General Hux Stands overlooking their small Naval fleet, his arms clasped behind his back. Ren knows that the biggest dissident of his plan will be Hux but he doesn’t care anymore. He just wants to prove to Rey that his word is good and that he was going change things.

 

“I need coms open fleet wide.” Ren tells the nearest communications tech who nods, not wanting to deal with the wrath of Kylo Ren as had been shown before.

 

“This is Supreme Leader Kylo Ren. Today it has come to my knowledge that some among our ranks are displeased with the current form of leadership being used. Within the next hour this will change. The High Commanders of each unit will report to my Knights of Ren until further notice. Their orders come directly from me and any disobedience will be dealt with as my Knights have been instructed. This is effective immediately.” He slashed his hand to his throat at the tech and the broadcast is cut off and he’s cleared to move.   


Armitage Hux is red in the face as he turns to stare at Kylo Ren. “What sort of game are you playing at Ren?” He asks holding his arms out in surprise. Ren doesn’t even need to lift his hand more than a few centimeters to capture the breath from his insubordinate officer.

 

“I am Supreme Leader and this is my command.” Ren states before flinging Hux into the wall and looking around. “Anyone else?” the rest of the flight deck crew turn back to their work without a word and Ren nods, turning to stalk from the room. “Ready my ship.” He barks at two officers who nod and scurry to follow his command.

 

Returning to his room Ren opens his private com link and enters the code he needs to reach the person he wishes to contact.

 

* * *

  


Sullust isn’t what Ren remembers it to be but the last time he had been here was years ago, more years than he is pleased to remember, so he doesn’t. He stalks sure footed towards the door to the Cantina, dressed in the outfit he had worn when he had visited Chardaan. He doesn’t want to be noticed and he’s doing a decent job of it as far as he’s concerned, considering it is early morning still and barely anyone has risen from their homes to enter the market place. The door to the Cantina swings open easily and he steps in going unnoticed by the patrons until he seeks out the owner and sits at the table across from her, knowing she is expecting him.

 

“Maz.”

 

“Kylo Ren. What do I owe this pleasure?” Maz Kanata asks, standing and gesturing for him to follow so they have some privacy. Maz is short, very much so, and Ren wonders for a moment what species she could be, but Ben Solo knows better than to ask anything about a woman’s identity that she doesn’t share freely. He unfolds himself from the chair and follows her small form. Once in a private room Maz turns on him, inspecting him as he lowers his hood.

 

“I need advice Maz.”

 

“You wouldn’t be here if you didnt.” Maz states gesturing to the table and allowing Ren to sit before she does. “I assume it’s about the girl.” Ren doesn’t bother asking how she knows, Maz is force sensitive, but not trained.

 

“I can’t be the light that she wants me to be, that Leia Organa wants me to be, but the pull is too much for me to be completely devoted to the dark. I just want to be gray and just exist. I’ve spent over a decade of my life to this cause and my knights and I are beginning to see that maybe this isn’t the right course of action, but we don't know what the right way is any more.” For some reason Kylo Ren can’t keep any secrets from the woman in front of him. No one could.

 

“Have you thought about a truce?”

 

“I offered. Rey rejected me.” Maz stood up on her knees in the chair, leaning across the table and adjusting her glasses to peer deeper into Ren, deeper than he ever wanted anyone to peer into him. “You want to be your grandfather, but you.. You are not him, you will never be him.” Maz’s eyes narrow as Ren pulls away from her, frown set deep between his eyebrows. He had known this was probably going to happen, but he still hates that Maz is one of several things he’s beginning to realize he cannot control. “He loved the girl until he wanted the power. You my boy… you wanted the power, but now you love the girl.” Maz’s voice dies off and Ren stands, planting his hands on the table forcefully enough that it tips a bit.

 

“You know nothing of me.”

 

“I’ve lived long enough to see the same eyes in different people. You are him, but opposite The girl is she, but new. The Force has given you another chance, what you do with it is your choice, but this time I suggest trying to choose her over the power my boy.” Maz straightens up, pats Ren’s cheek with one of her large orange hands and stalks away leaving Kylo Ren in a state of confusion.

 

He feels the pull, the sound of the world buzzing into silence in his ears, before he feels her there in the room with him again.

 

 **_“_** _She said that to my friend Finn.”_ Rey’s voice echoes through the bond and Ren turns to face her.

 

“How much did you hear?” Ren asks, eyebrows dipping into a frown. “ Just the last bit. There’s been news that your Knights are taking over command of the First Order?” She asks, curiosity curling between them.

 

“That is none of your business.” Ren snaps and he turns but Rey calls after him.

 

“Ben, please!” He stops but doesn’t turn to look at her. He doesn’t want to see the pain or the sadness in her eyes. “Leia is worse. They’re telling us to say our goodbyes. She’s requested to spend the rest of her time commanding from Naboo. Please… ple-”

 

Ren’s com comes to life at that moment. “Kylo,” Mira, speaking to him. “I’m almost there, where are we meeting?” Mira’s voice is light and sounds happy and Ren can feel the pain searing through the bond he and Rey share, betrayal evident there as well.

 

Ren locks eyes with Rey. “I’ll send you the coordinates in a moment, I am with company.”

 

“Tell them to shoo. Who is more important than me?” Mira teases and Ren is suddenly alone, Rey having turned away as the bond closed, hurt lingering in the air.

 

“I’m on Sullust but I won’t be here long. Gather the others and meet me on Mustafar. I think I have a way to end this war.” He cuts the com and stalks out of the room slamming the door shut as he leaves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm leaving for a trip to Washington D.C. on Saturday, so between tours and homework I'm not sure when I will be able to write, so there will not be an update next week since I'm only half of the way through chapter 12. I like to have at least one chapter completed past what I'm posting (so to post chapter 11 I'd like to have 12 completed) so this story will be on a temporary hiatus with a tentative future update scheduled for the 15th. I know it's a long time to wait but it gives me time to possibly get 2 chapters completed so I can resume our updating schedule. Thank you so much for your continued support and if you have any questions, comments or concerns between now and then please hit me up on tumblr @Sirirps. I also take drabble requests among other things. Peace, Love and May the Force be with you.


	10. Magma

“No. No! Hear me out!” Aza Ren: tall, dark, and beautiful, stands at the edge of the table and slams her hands down on the surface. The resounding slap is loud enough to startle everyone from their arguments long enough for her to get a word in. “What if we suggest a cease-fire for The Festival of Life? It's 5 days. That gives us enough time to figure out a game plan.” Mira smiles at Aza and her grin widens when their eyes meet. “That will give us time to work out what we want to do from here.”

 

“Isn’t that tomorrow?” Thea and Theo Ren are Arkanian twins. Thea shakes her white hair from her face and Theo continues as he looks at her. “Tomorrow is the beginning of FOL on Coruscant and the core worlds if I remember the Galactic Calendar properly.”

 

Kylo Ren nods and turns his attention to Mira and Aza. “You said you wanted out. If we can plan this properly, we could start with a temporary ceasefire for the five days of the Festival of Life, bring the commanding officers here and allow our troops a day and a half of rest. Declare the core worlds neutral territory and see if we can arrange a private meeting with the Rebellion leaders to work a way to end this tedious dance once and for all.” Kylo is surprised at how easily his knights are agreeing to this and he wonders, briefly, how long they have been wanting to bring this to his attention. He looks around at his Knights and sighs heavily. He knows he wouldn’t be standing here today if it wasn’t for them.

 

“Pheus? Do you have any suggestions to add?” All eyes turn to Pheus Ren who looks up from the table.

 

“I think it’s a brilliant idea Aza.” Pheus’ voice is soft, kind, and Aza smiles turning her attention to Arius Ren who is bouncing with excitement. Ari is an enigma that the Knights of Ren have yet to fully come to understand. Pheus and Arius are the youngest of Kylo’s Knights, but he knows their abilities are on the same level as the rest and he trusts them almost implicitly.

 

“I think it’s a wonderful idea. Can we actually go to Coruscant? I’ve never been.” Ari is female today. While the gender Ari assumes changes almost daily, Ari is always dark haired, green eyed, and always has a scar dark scar across the lower half of the face, from ear to ear and along the mouth, a perpetually gruesome smile. Kylo is sure the scar can be covered or even erased away with a mere thought, Ari is Clawdite, so shape shifting is as easy as breathing to the Knight. Identification, however, as a Knight is detrimental sometimes and so keeping the scar on display is one of the ways that Ari can be identified in many situations.

 

Expectant eyes turn to Kylo when Ari poses her question and he gives a not very committed shrug. “It will be 5 days of a cease-fire. We will attempt to work out a solution to benefit everyone equally. You may do what you want, but keep your personal comms handy. I will need others with me at the meeting, if there is to be one, and if someone is to break the ceasefire, we will need to deal with our own and hold the Rebellion to holding their own responsible as well.” An idea is forming in his head while everyone begins to murmur to themselves again.

 

“All those in favor of proposing a Cease Fire.” Every knight’s voice rings out in agreement and Kylo nods. “I will put the word out.”

 

* * *

 

 

“General Dameron!” The shrill shriek of the com startles Rey, causing her to lose her place in the paper she was attempting to read. Poe had been promoted to General as one of Leia’s last acts before she had decidedly resigned, her health waning more quickly than what the medics had anticipated. The position had been offered to Rey as well, but she still hadn’t made her final decision yet. The thought of controlling the forces they had built, some twenty thousand volunteers from Naboo, Chardaan, Coruscant, and Chandrila alone.

 

A year ago, Rey was just a small scavenger girl from Jakku who had gotten roped into a grand adventure with a small BB Unit and a defected Stormtrooper. Now she was Rey of the Resistance and a potential general to boot. She tries to tune out the radio chatter but she can’t tune out the shift of the force, or the way it pulls the sound from the room when it flares to life.

 

“I’m calling for a ceasefire.” Ren’s voice is soft and Rey looks up from her paper to stare at him. “I’m calling a ceasefire. I need him to accept it. I have a plan Rey. Please. For once in your life give me your trust as I’ve given you mine many times.” Rey’s breath catches in her chest and she nods before turning her attention back to Poe who is talking to the C.O on the other end of the comm.

 

“Poe… Poe take it. Isn’t this what we want? I don’t know about you but I want this stupid war to end and if this is our chance, please take it!” Poe frowns at Rey for a moment. “I’ll accept the promotion, and I’ll take all of the responsibility for this. If Leia was here and she had an opportunity to end this stupid kriffing war she would!” Rey stands and Poe nods.

 

“We’ll meet you on the bridge in three minutes.” Poe states into the comm and Rey smiles when he holds out his hand to her. “Welcome to the Resistance General…?” Rey frowned blinking at his loss for words. “What do we call you? General what?”

 

“Just Rey. Just Rey. None of the General stuff just yet.” Rey laughs and she feels like she’s made the right choice convincing Poe to accept Kylo’s proposal.

  


* * *

  


Ren stands on the balcony overlooking the crimson sea of lava that flows around Vader’s castle, no, _HIS_ castle, with a drink in his hand. It had been a brilliant plan, suggested by Aza Ren, to gather the commanding officers and try to win their respect and trust rather than expect it, especially if their plan was to work. Kylo Ren welcomed the distraction of planning, it helped him keep his mind from turning to _her_ _._ They had reached a mutual ground. She had heeded his word and told their idiot General that he should take the ceasefire proposal and he was glad. It was a step in the right direction.

 

Many of the First Order’s commanding officers are in attendance and Mira and Aza are doing a phenomenal job entertaining and drawing the crowd into their stories. Ren is sure that when the time comes they will follow his knights in the future he envisions.

 

The wind is warm off of the lava fields and he wonders if the heat would be something Rey would enjoy. He knows she is used to the scorching heat of Jakku but he wonders if this heat would be more or if it would be less, having never spent any extended amount of time in the Jakku sun. His attention is drawn from his thoughts when a petite blonde First Officer he recognizes from the bridge of the Finalizer calls to him. She’s there, on the balcony with him looking small but more shy than afraid and his interest is piqued.

 

He feels the bond crackle around him but he has no interest in being berated for not doing things  _her_ way and he gives the young woman in his presence his undivided attention. The blonde steps forward and gives Kylo a shy smile moving to stand next to him aonthe balcony.

 

“This place is lovely. I’ve never seen so much obsidian in my whole life.” She’s talking about the earth around them? Ren shakes his head but listens, curious why this person, out of everyone here, sought him out to talk to.

 

“Is there a reason you’re here?” He asks. It’s not an unkind question but more out of curiosity.

 

“I’m Kristan.” She gives him a shrug. “I’ve never gotten a chance to meet any of the Knights of Ren before, and I have only ever seen images of you with your mask on so I didn’t realize who you were when I first got here but now that I know I just…” She turned a bright smile to him. “I would have never imagined someone so handsome under that mask. Your power is all anyone ever talks about.”

 

 ** _Handsome?_** Ren frowns for a moment, stepping closer. He had never been called handsome by anyone other than his mother.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Every day the bond opens, thrumming with irritation from him and despair from her, but neither talk to the other with the exception of his plea for a cease fire. She will never admit he had made her cry over his harsh rejection of coming to see his mother. She thought if anything he would use it as a means to come see her, to try to persuade her once again to join him. She knows she had hurt him in her rejection, with both of them, but she also knows that the distance from the one person who truly understands her is tearing her apart inside. Rey hates this. She hates that he won’t _talk_ to her. She hates that she has to sit in these meetings and act like she isn’t worrying constantly that Ben Solo is losing his last chance to reconcile with his mother. She hates how mean he’s being and she hates that she still feels a painful pull in her chest when she thinks about him. It has been two weeks since they had properly talked, and a day since Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order, called a Galactic ceasefire in the name of the Festival of Life and she and Poe had accepted on behalf of the Rebellion.

 

The bond surges around her and she can’t see Poe and Connix talking about their plan to regain troops anymore but she can still hear them. All she can see is him, standing on a balcony with a pretty blonde woman. The woman has her hand on his chest and he’s leaning in, his attention fully on her. He doesn’t know Rey’s there and her curiosity gets the better of her.

 

“I think you’d make a good Emperor.” The lithe voice of the other woman says as she steps closer.

 

“I think I’m doing a decent job as a Supreme Leader.” Ren replies, he doesn’t smile but pleasure is evident in his eyes that makes Rey’s heart skip a beat, she had seen that look in his eyes before, when they had danced and when he had all but confessed his love for her. Rey swallows, the air thick in her throat.

 

“Oh, you are.” The woman dressed in blue steps closer yet, nearing herself to him.

 

“I’m glad we agree.” Ren sets his drink down, his hand moving to her lower back. Rey wants to turn away, hurt singeing in her chest.

 

“I’m sure we can agree on other things as well.” The blonde whispers. Rey’s mouth has gone dry and her cheeks are red. She wants to yell at him, ask him what the hell he is thinking but she knows her body is still in the middle of a meeting even if her mind isn’t.

 

“Oh? Like what?” he asks and the other woman giggles looking to the balcony door before moving, pressing her whole body against him, her hand dipping low between them. Ren’s fists curl in the dress at her hips as pleasure sings through the bond he and Rey share.

 

Rey gasps and their eyes lock, amber meeting hazel, and suddenly Rey is back in the meeting room, all eyes on her as she stands quickly and leaves the room, running straight for her quarters not far down the hall.

 

* * *

 

Ren frowns at the space where Rey had been before turning his attention towards the blonde who was attempting to slip her hand into his pants. Shoving her away he rises to his full height, eyes blazing. “Touch me again without my permission and I will cut off your hand.” Kristan looks at him with wide eyes and nods before turning to leave and he’s alone on the balcony once more. He contemplates the drink as he picks it up looking at the dark liquid. It’s the same colour as _her_ eyes and the thought enrages him. He flings the drink, glass and all, against the obsidian stone wall yelling out in frustration. He takes ahold of a chair and flings it as far as he can, still yelling before he rounds to punch the wall, not once but multiple times.

 

He punches until his glove rips and his hand is dripping blood and he’s slowly self destructing from the inside out.  Pheus Ren steps through the curtain blocking off the balcony from prying eyes and his displeasure is set in his mouth. The red light from the hot magma surrounding the castle makes Pheus’ blue skin almost black and Kylo cannot remember if Pheus is Pantoran or Chiss. He’s shorter than Ren, by maybe 3 or 4 inches, but built similarly and his strength matches that of Mira. He is the youngest of Kylo Ren’s knights but he isn’t afraid to try to butt heads with Kylo when the time calls for it. The time doesn't call for it now and Pheus knows that, to which Kylo is grateful.

 

“Whatever you’re stressing about can be relieved with more drink and the right woman.” Pheus winks and Kylo chuckles but nods and follows his companion back into the party.

 

Thea frowns at Kylo as he drips blood on her shoes but doesn’t say anything, turning her attention to her brother for a moment before returning to the conversation they had previously been having. The twins are similar in personality but opposite in looks, but that is what is expected of fraternal twins, however Theo is more protective of his sister than the other knights and Kylo knows that if it came down to it they would do anything in their powers to save each other’s skins, a quality that Snoke had liked when the twins had joined Kylo’s knights so many years ago. Kylo spares them a glance before being dragged off by Pheus Ren for more drinks.

  


After several hours and a few more drinks, Kylo Ren finally gets his hand looked at by a medical droid in the medical bay, his mind in several different locations at once. There’s a painful jab to the last knuckle when he feels the shift. The force crowds around him then and he can’t breathe. He clutches his chest as he stumbles from the med bay, bumping shoulders with someone but not paying attention as he mumbles an apology before he stumbles into an empty room. The bond crackles to life and Rey is on the floor in front of him, heartbroken sobs escaping from her throat as she’s curled in on herself, her arms wrapped around her stomach and her head bowed into her knees.

 

“What happened?” Ren asks and Rey startles, like she hadn’t noticed the bond flaring to life.

 

“Oh stuff it. It’s not like you care anyways.” She shifts away from him and he tumbles to his knees in front of her causing her to startle away from him again. “Leave me alone.” Her voice is acidic and Ren reaches out a bare hand to touch her cheek.

 

“What happened?” He asks again, brushing away a tear as it rolls down her cheek. The skin to skin contact throws him into her mind without either of them completely intending to and he feels a sharp pain and horrible grief and the curl of anger.

 

“Leia’s gone.” Rey’s voice is barely there, cracking as tears renew and he’s stunned silent for several minutes. He doesn’t know how to react to this news. Han Solo, he had expected because it had been by his hand, but this. He had hoped that this war would have been over before he lost the last of the family he had. He wouldn’t cry, he couldn’t, that part of his brain has been locked away for too long to break out now, even though there had been a glimmer of it when she had rejected him before, but here and now he couldn’t cry even when the situation warranted _something_.

 

He sits there for a long moment just watching her in her grief before her eyes are on his and anger is easily read upon her face. “Do you feel nothing?” She shoves his hand away from her face. “What is this for if you have nothing here Ben? You had a family that cared about you. They wanted you. They just wanted you back and you couldn’t even come see your mother in her last days because you’re too selfish playing emperor that you couldn’t even say goodbye to your mother. You’re so selfish!” Rey climbs to her feet and Ben follows, hand still outstretched but his voice void of words. She turns to walk away and he steps forward grabbing her wrist gently.

 

“Please.” He gasps. He can’t cry. He can’t grieve the way she wants him to, but he wants to help her in her grief, that has to mean something, right? He pulls her closer and she lets out a loud keening cry slamming her fists against his chest.

 

“You have people who actually care about you Ben Solo and you’re too stupid to realize that.” She hits him again but he doesn’t really feel it. His eyes are on her face. She’s an ugly crier, her nose and cheeks red, salt tracks cutting through the colour and he can tell she’s been crying for longer than they have been together. “ You asked me to stay with you and this is why. You don’t care about anyone but yourself.” Her hands make contact with his chest again as she lets out another sob. Another slap of hands muffled over the cloth and more sobs and he doesn’t care that his shirt is wet with her snot and tears.

 

He lets her hit him until all of her anger wanes and she stands in his arms, face pressed to his chest as she sobs and he knows that she’s not upset with him so much as upset that the force has taken another person that could have been family for her and his heart breaks. While he’s lost everyone but her, she’s lost a second chance at a family and the only person who understands is him.

 

Except he’s not capable of giving her what she wants, not the way he is now, but he can never be the person she wants he honestly believes. But he’s trying. He’s trying to pull the grief from her through the bond so he can lock it away so she doesn’t suffer. He doesn’t want her to suffer like he knows he will if she manages to break through the tightly locked boxes of emotions in his mind. Her grief should be something that he revels in but this time he doesn’t heed it, just pulls what he can from her, hoping to help calm her a small bit to show how grateful he is for being let in, how grateful he is for her trust in this quiet broken moment in time.

 

He knows he can never be the person she wants, but that doesn’t stop him from trying as he wraps around her shoulders and lets her sob into his chest until the bond closes, not slamming shut but fading slowly into silence. When she’s gone he feels empty and numb,  which he is beginning to question. He wonders, briefly, if feeling something would hurt as much as the lingering emptiness in his chest.

 

Kylo sighs and settles himself on the bed in the guest room he’s never been in before, unaware of the eyes watching him as he brushes his thumb over abused knuckles. He closes his eyes, lifting his face to the ceiling, and silently begs for guidance from the force. He knows the person he wants to be is in himself somewhere, but reconciling him with the man he is now is a feat that neither Kylo Ren nor Ben Solo know how to accomplish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said I would update yesterday but I've been so distracted with life that I didn't remember until today. Our climax starts in chapter 12, we're close to coming up with a long time truce, or are we? Keep reading to find out.
> 
> As always you're welcome to come over and pester me on tumblr. I love having people chat with me about my story, or star wars, or anything else of that faction. I love making new friends!
> 
> Also, if you're enjoying this fic please drop a comment or a kudo it keeps us writers breathing.


	11. Reverence

She has never seen anyone look more beautiful, Rey thinks as she stands at the pyre that had been set up for the late, great,  General. She had requested some time alone and waits patiently for the moment to arrive when she can finally lower her walls and let herself mourn in private. Since accepting the position of General she has been on high alert, keeping herself closed off from her emotions and fighting tears for the last two days. She feels Ben there, wavering back and forth at the back of her mind but he says nothing, does nothing except watches her carefully until the bond closes.

 

When the last resistance member has paid their respects Rey finally  _ finally _ allows her knees to give out from under her, a loud sob echoing across the empty field. She feels the skin of her left knee painfully split as she comes down hard on the rocky shore below, but she doesn't move, letting the pain seep through her skin to her heart.  _ Everyone leaves. Everyone always leaves.  _ She sobs harder believing this to be true because if she tells her friends about her conflicting emotions towards Ben she knows they will leave her too.

 

She doesn't hear the footsteps but she feels his presence before he carefully wraps his arms around her shoulders and pulls her to his chest. Her hands curl into his shirt “Stop it.” She sobs. She knows now that she overwhelming grief she feels isn’t just her own despair and pain but his as well, the pain in her chest leaving her breathless as twice the amount heartbreak flares around them. “Stop it!” She slaps her small hand against his chest, pressing her forehead to his collarbone as she screams out into the void between them.

 

She knows what he’s doing, he has been meticulously trained to keep his emotions locked away behind a mask in carefully portioned boxes, but now his guard is lowered, his grief projecting and she can't fight it, in this moment she is not strong enough to stand much less block him out so she doesn't. Somewhere in the back of her mind she registers that she is his conduit for his emotions and this is the only way he can express and process his grief - through her- his face and body absent of any emotion, but his fingers in her hair giving enough contact for her to enter his mind. Her heart squeezes painfully as she realizes that he’s giving her the emotions she had asked for on more than one occasion. She realises that in his own messed up way he’s actually  _ trying _ .

 

She cries until running footsteps on gravel cause her to pull away and a voice cuts through the thick haze of emotions. “What the fuck is going on here?” Poe Cameron stands at the entrance to the field and Ben - Ren- stands from his kneeling position hands going for a lightsaber that isn’t there. Rey catches his hand from her spot pleading eyes raised to his. 

 

“We’re in a ceasefire.” Rey states and both men turn to look at her, anger evident on their faces. Ren is angry that Poe has interrupted the only moment he will probably ever get to process his grief. Poe is angry because Kylo Ren  _ ‘The Jedi Killer’ _ is standing in front of him on the shores of the Resistance home base with  _ his  _ Jedi.

 

“You need to leave.” Poe states pulling his gun and Rey frowns quickly climbing to her feet as Ren throws out a hand to force choke his opposition..

 

“Stop! Stop it now!” Rey cries out, voice hoarse as she moves to stand in between them. When neither concede she turns her attention to Ren with pleading eyes. “Ben, please.” His name is soft enough that Poe can’t hear, but as Ren stares at her he drops his hand and Poe crumbles, gasping for breath and Rey turns her attention to him. “We’re in a cease fire and he has just lost his mother. Have some compassion, Poe!”

 

“Compassion? When in his miserable life has he ever shown compassion?” Poe gestures to Ren with the gun and Rey flinches into the line of fire again. 

 

“He called the cease fire! Remember?!” Rey is exhausted. She rubs her eyes and sniffles. “Please Poe. Leave it.” Poe looks from her to Ren and back.

 

“So what? You're on his side now?” Poe asks. 

 

“No!” She takes a step towards him. “No. I'm trying to prevent you,  _ General,  _ from breaking a ceasefire only days before negotiations! I want this stupid war to be over! I want to find a home and never worry about who I’ve killed to get where I am or how I’m going to get my next meal or if someone I know is going to die today. I’m on the side of peace and serenity and  I want you to lower your kriffing weapon before you shoot someone!” Poe’s gun arm falters as tears well in her eyes again. “Please, just leave. Just let him have a single solitary moment to grieve like the rest of us have been allowed to do.”

 

Poe’s face turns emotionless and he nods as he stands. “I’m not going far. We shouldn’t trust him  _ General. _ ” Poe says the word in the same way she had said it to him, as a reminder of their positions. Rey nods, giving him a thankful smile before he turns to walk away. 

 

When Rey turns her attention back to Ren he is next to the pyre, his large hands curled around one of Leia’s small ones.  **_I thought I would have more time._ ** His voice is a pained whisper in her mind, and the pain there breaks her heart all over again.  **_I wish I could say I was sorry and mean it, but I never can._ ** Rey wonders what he means by that but the voice continues, softer. **_Han knew what he was doing when he offered to help me. I know he knew. I heard it when he touched me. I wish she had at least known that._ **

  
Rey moves to stand with him reaching out to touch his hand. He pulls away as if he has been stung and pain sings deep in her heart. She can allow him to comfort her physically but it hurts that he will not allow her to do the same. She presses his mind for a moment, and he gives resistance but one thought is clear and she realizes why he draws away. 

 

In his mind he does not deserve her compassion, he does not deserve the comfort of her arms nor does he want the pity from her heart. Rey sighs gently and brushes her hand gently through his hair as she had done during the force dream so many months ago. A shudder of defeat curls down Ren’s back at this touch but neither say anything and he doesn’t pull away from the gentle touch. 

 

Rey steps away to give him privacy without her presence. She knows he will never admit it, but he is as deeply under her influence as she is his. Turning her attention to where she can see Poe’s blazing orange flight suit she makes a mental note to talk to him about wearing that where others can see. It makes him a target. 

 

She hears Ren’s soft sigh and and she sniffles a bit as his barriers drop and his emotions overwhelm her once more, but she doesn’t go to him again, instead she steps a few paces away, standing sentry and allowing him to say his goodbyes undisturbed. She hears him stand and shivers when his arms snake carefully around her waist, his forehead pressed into her hair as he lets out a slow breath. She knows that this display of affection with the presence of Poe so nearby is detrimental to the type of relationship they are developing, a sign of the person Ren is becoming in her presence. She also knows now that she needs to let him control the contact between them because at any moment she is sure he will flee if she makes the wrong move and she wants to maintain a hold on him for as long as he will allow.

 

Gravel shifting in the distance causes him to pull away from her and she nods slowly. “I’ll walk you back.” She whispers. She doesn’t want to see them light the pyre. She doesn’t want to see everyone else’s heart break when she has to deal with the myriad of emotions bombarding her from inside and out. If this is what he needs to grieve she will be that for him, for as long as he will allow her to be in his mind, she will accept the part of him she is given and hope that they both will be better for it. He nods and she gestures for him to move forward, allowing him to take the lead. She knows they need to talk but she isn’t sure where or when.

 

“The queen has been kind enough to allow us the use of the castle meeting rooms as a place of convergence for the treaty, we will not be allowed weapons of any sort. Members of the republic and of the First Order will start arriving in the morning and the meeting will begin at noon the day after.” His voice is low as they pass Poe. Ren feels the pilot’s eyes on him, but Ren’s eyes are only on Rey. “Congratulations by the way, General.” 

 

Rey flushes in protest as they walk past and Poe raises his eyebrow as Rey reaches out to shove Ren’s shoulder. Expecting a fight, Poe reaches for his gun but Kylo Ren simply chuckles as they come to the fork in the path, one leading to the Resistance HQ and the other to Theed. “Until tomorrow, General.” Ren bows swiftly before turning his eyes to Poe for a moment, the side of his mouth quirking up with one eyebrow before he stalks off towards the transport waiting to take him back to Theed.

 

“What the fuck was that?” Poe asks and Rey frowns at him. 

 

“I don’t know what you mean Poe. We’re in a ceasefire. The least we can do is be civil especially when we’re in a time of mourning.” Rey sniffles gently and shakes her head. “I’m returning to base for a bit. I’d like to finish reading over the documents I need to sign to make my position final. I still need to come up with a last name too.”

 

“You could always take her last name. Keep the name going.” Poe calls after her and Rey nods. 

 

“Maybe.”

 

“We can give you any name you want.” He calls back. “Anything you want I can make it happen.” 

 

“I’ll see you after the Pyre, Poe.” Rey shakes her hair from her eyes, resigning to tying it back up when she reaches the base.

 

* * *

  
  


Kylo Ren has a plan. It’s half formed and is stupid but now is his only chance to make this entire thing right. He had sent a request for Rey to meet him that evening. He wants to plead his case to her before they meet as counterparts on opposite sides of the war. He had discussed his plan with Mira and with Maz Kanata and if he could get Rey to agree to his idea then maybe, just maybe this peace they had established could last longer than the five days they had originally planned for.

  
  


He stands on the balcony overlooking the waterfalls of Theed. It’s cool, but not enough to cause too much of a chill but he hopes she thinks to bring a cowl or cloak or something because it is expected to get colder before the night is over. A noise to his left draws his attention from the rainbowing water of the waterfalls and his mouth goes dry as he takes her in. 

 

Rey’s hair is curled, barely reaching past ears that glitter with small star like studs that match the necklace he had given her months prior. His necklace rests against the smooth column of her neck and Ren is overcome with the desire to press his mouth to the pulse point below the delicate gold chain. 

 

Her dress is a gray fabric speckled with dark spots, starting at the left shoulder and crossing across her torso, leaving her right shoulder and arm bare. The design encases both hips but leaves the dip and curve of the left side of her waist visible, the skin there cream and peaches compared to the freckles of her shoulders and nose. He has a deep desire to reach out and touch, curious to know what the bare skin there feels like under his fingers and tastes like under his tongue in reality, not the illusion of a shared force dream.

 

“How is it that you always look so stunning?” Ren asks, licking his lips in attempt to moisten them.

 

“How is it that we always seem to match?” Rey asks gesturing to the suit he wears. The pants and vest are a simple obsidian over an ash gray shirt. He’s simply dressed but handsome in her eyes, and she can’t help the small smile that curls along her lips as he gazes over her, leaving them both breathless.

 

“I have a proposition for you.” He states then, gesturing to the table that promises utmost privacy in the crowded, bustling city. Rey takes her seat and he presses it in, as he had done at the lake house and she gives him a smile. This is a formal dinner between commanders of separate factions on opposite sides of a war, she has to remind herself as she carefully picks at the small plate of vegetation that has been presented to her, a cream coloured dressing dashed across the surface.

 

They sit in a comfortable silence for a while, eating and thinking.  Ren is the first to break the silence.“I wanted to speak to you before the others, because if we want this to work we need to be on the same side of this discussion. I want this to end just as you do, but I need you to meet me in the middle.”

 

“I don’t understand.” Rey states softly, setting her plate aside, her appetite sated for the time being, nervousness and curiosity gnawing in her gut.

 

“I’ve been slowly losing my mind, losing myself since you’ve come into my life. It’s not negative though,” he cuts her protest off when he sees the reaction on her face. He stands, moving to the balcony and she stands with him, following quietly resting her hand on his shoulder as she lets him gather his thoughts. “You didn’t start this war, but neither did I Rey. It’s been going on for so long that it’s just completely meaningless at this point.” Her breath catches in her chest but Ren is speaking again. “People fight because they don’t know what else to do. They fight because we fight and when we’re killed that gives them more fuel to continue on. If we show them a united front maybe…” he licks his lips again, “maybe they will follow us. We can’t expect our people to do something we’re unwilling to do.”

 

“I’ve been dying a little each day since Naboo,” Rey speaks, stepping closer to him, to brush the fallen hair from his eyes. Ren looks down at her in confusion, but her eyes are glassy with unshed tears and he feels the emotion in her eyes pull at his heart.

 

“What are you talking about?” He’s confused, but he doesn’t move away, allows himself the small comfort of touch that he has refused for so long. Rey’s heart sings and the realization dawns on her as her fingers trace the outlines of his scar, his nose and cheekbones and jaw, and she knows the meaning behind her thoughts are true, her lips trembling as she breathes out three words into the abyss.

 

The first time she says it, he misses the words, and only catches the feeling behind them. She’s as close as she can be while maintaining modesty on the royal grounds, one hand pressed along his jaw, the other over his heart.

 

“I love you.” She whispers again and the feeling consumes him. Someone could love him even in his darkness? The thought is outstanding but he feels the truth behind it through the bond.

 

He pulls her to him then, upsetting the balance a bit as he shifts forward to cradle her face in one hand, his other spread across her lower back. His words are whispered against her neck and all she can do is nod. ““You love me? I...I thought we had decided not to fall in love.” His voice is rough as he speaks, tears thick in his throat but blocked by the mental barriers he had set up long ago. “I thought we had decided not to fall in love because we would be forced to live a lie that would destroy our lives.” He’s glad that she can’t see his face.

 

“I.. I think…. I think that if this negotiation fails, our lives are about to be destroyed anyways.” She whispers softly, sniffling as she presses her face into the crook of his arm. “There is no end to this war. There won’t be until one side has vanquished the other. There is no happy ending for us.” She whispers. “I just… I wanted you to know.” she sounds broken and it pulls harshly at his heart.

 

“I have a plan.” He whispers into her shoulder and she shifts, finally, tear filled eyes searching his face before she leans up to press her mouth to his, fingers curling in his hair as his arms tighten around her waist and she’s kissing him in earnest and he opens his mind to her, laying himself broken and bare for her to see. 

 

Her head swims as the blood rushes to her feet and he holds her steady as she sways for a moment. When she is stable enough to stand on her own he takes her hand and he tumbles to his knees in front of her, the epitome of a man worshiping at the feet of a goddess. She sees in his mind that he reveres her as such, as the only thing in the entirety of the universe he cares about, supplicate and acquiescent at her feet

 

Ren offers himself to her in the form of a sacred ring, rose gold and set with ten diamonds of varying sizes glittering like stars along a split band. He swears that she is all he will ever need and promises the universe to her, promises to do what he can to make the negotiations work if she will meet him in the middle. It's not a dictatorship or monarchy he wants, she realises, but a partnership between three factions in attempt to bring peace once again to the galaxy. Rey blinks at him for a moment trying to gather her thoughts around what has suddenly happened and she nods, giving him a breathless little ‘yes’. This could solve everything. They could blend two of the 3 factions and neither of them would have to be lonely again.

  
  



	12. Peace

The bond flares to life in the middle of the night. Ren isn’t sure what wakes him, usually, the bond doesn’t bother him when he’s asleep, but he feels her frustration ebbing through the bond and he rights himself in bed, trying to see what she’s doing.

 

“Why are you up this late?” He asks with a dark chuckle that causes her to send a scowl his way.

 

“I’m trying to figure out how to do this,” Rey whispers licking dry lips.

 

“Do what?” Ren asks sleepily and Rey laughs gently.

 

“I’m trying to build my lightsaber. I’ve read the texts, but I’m not sure I completely understand. I’ve never been the best at reading, it’s not really a skill that is needed where I’m from.” Her cheeks tint a bit and he nods.

 

“Meet me in the Falcon. I’ll help.” Rey doesn’t know why she agrees but looking at the ring on her finger she chews her bottom lip before standing and carefully gathering her supplies. Leaving her room she walks quietly, barefooted in an overly long tunic that she uses for a sleep shirt.

 

He’s there before her, bare-chested and barefooted only in dark sleep pants that look as if they were Chardaanian silk or something. They're expensive looking and for a moment all she desires to do is to run her hands over them. She looks him over for a moment before he collapses onto the cushions of a bench and gestures for her to sit with him. Rey obliges but moves to sit cross-legged facing him, using the rest of the bench as a table between them. She carefully lays the saber parts between them and he nods.

 

“I remember having to do this when I was younger. Once, decades ago, padawans had to venture out on their own, find their crystals and make their sabers before they could return to the temple.”

 

“How long did it take you to make yours?” Rey asks in a whisper and Ben chuckles.

 

“About four hours, honestly. It’s hard to tap into the force and maintain the connection, but I think you can do it. If not I can help.” He gives her a half smile, the left corner of his lips twitching upward.

 

“How?”

 

“Close your eyes and reach out with the force. Find my force signature and then find your crystal. That’s the signature you need to focus on. I’ll just be here as a buffer so you don’t get distracted.”

 

“Did you get distracted a lot?” She asks, curious eyes seeking the answer in his face.

 

“I did. There were so many things flowing with the force where I was that it was hard not to be.” He nods gesturing to her saber parts.

 

“Go ahead and begin. I’ll be here if you need me.” Rey nods and closes her eyes and he does as well reaching out with his force to touch hers for a brief moment before she shies away, her focus turning to the crystal.

 

* * *

 

An hour into her meditation Ben feels the signature of another, not far from them and feels Rey stiffen.

 

A bird, nothing to be concerned about. Continue. Even as he thinks the words he is carefully standing. She’s making excellent progress, mostly finished already. He steps down the ramp of the falcon and hides in shadows as he listens to the two people walk by.

 

“I’m worried about her Poe.” FN-2187, the traitor.

 

“She’s got all of that force mumbo jumbo going on Finn. I think she can handle herself

during these meetings better than any of us can.” Poe Dameron’s voice drifts over as well and Ren clenches his hand into a fist. How dare they question her.

 

“But what if they try to mind trick us all?” Finn asks and Poe tuts.

 

“I don’t think Rey would let that happen. Has she given any indication that that could happen?”

 

“Well no, but you’re the one who said she and Kylo Ren were being friendly.”

 

“I think she really meant it when she said she just wants this war to be over. Don't you?”

 

“Yeah, I do. Let's go back inside. It’s cold.” Poe chuckles and Ren feels their forces drift farther away. He returns to Rey and watches for a moment before he realizes she’s completed her saber.

 

She’s sitting, bright-eyed looking at the saber with an expression akin to awe set on her face. “I did it!” She squeaks standing up to show him.

 

“You did.” he chuckles this time and her wide eyes turn to him.

 

“I’m scared to turn it on.” She whispers and he knows she fears the color most of all.

 

“It will be light and brilliant just like you.” He whispers moving to stand behind her.

 

“Here.” He wraps his large hand across her eyes, the other moving to dip under her arm so his full hand can rest open over her heart. “Take a deep breath and turn it on.”

Rey feels anxious, with his hand so close to her breast, but she also feels safe with him so close, his entire form pressed along her back. She presses her thumb to the switch

and takes in a sharp breath.

 

The beam flares to life at his encouragement and his breath leave him. He had been expecting blue or green but this color he has never experienced before, even though he has heard of it happening once or twice in the past.

 

“It’s beautiful,” he whispers and he drops his hand so she can open her eyes, becoming just as awestruck as he.

 

The whole world around them is lit up amethyst and she turns her eyes to him, grinning.

 

* * *

 

Rey sighs as she looks at the paperwork in front of her, pen tapping gently on the table. She had made up her mind on what she was going to do, but she had yet to gather the courage to do it.

 

“What are you stressing about now? You haven’t changed your mind, have you?” Rey’s skin tingles as she turns to face Ren. She hadn’t heard him enter, but this isn’t the force bond. She shrugs and turns back to her paperwork.

 

“I’m trying to fill out this paperwork and they want me to choose my last name.” Rey chews her lip, a bad habit she really needs to break, and Ren lets out a soft chuckle.

 

“Don’t you have one?” He asks, pausing for a moment to think. He had never heard her referred to by her last name before.

 

“I don’t know what it is. I don’t even know if Rey is really my name or just a name that was given to me over the years.” She shrugs again, hair on the back of her neck raising when he moves to stand next to her, looking down at the papers.

 

They're in a meeting room in Theed Palace, the official meeting place of the committee that will determine whether a truce will happen and under what standards and protocols, but all anyone can worry about is Rey’s last name.

 

“You could use Solo,” Ren suggests and Rey turns to blink at him.

 

“I mean I could, but if we’re really doing this the proper way, wouldn’t Ren be more appropriate?” Rey knows his real name isn’t Kylo Ren, but she also knows that the day he refers to himself as Ben Solo will be the day he comes completely back from the dark side which will never happen as far as Rey and Ren are concerned.

 

“You don’t want to give away all of your secrets before we actually go through with those plans though, do you?” Rey gives him a look and shakes her head. “Besides, they will just think you’re idolizing Han and Leia because their bastard of a son never will.” Rey’s eyebrows raise at this and Ren chuckles before carefully printing ‘Rey Solo’ at the top of the page. “There.”

 

Rey nods and works on the rest of the paperwork in silence. The space they are in is public and open to anyone who wishes to enter but when anyone walks by and sees Kylo Ren and Rey sitting there quietly, one working and the other lost in thought, they carefully back away from the door and move onto another room.

 

* * *

 

 

Two hours later Rey sets the paperwork on Poe’s desk. The pilot-turned-general beams at her and flips through the pages reading the signature carefully. “Welcome to the Resistance, General Rey Solo. You’ve made the right choice.”

 

Rey laughs gently and sits shaking her head. “So, what is our plan for the peace talks?” she asks and Poe leans forward, resting his elbows on the desk in front of him.

 

“We’re going to hold a meeting later this evening to come up with what we want our points to be, as I’m sure the First Order is doing the same. Tomorrow the liaison from the core worlds will be here to take the points from both sides, make up a draft of the treaty. Negotiations will be on the 4th day of Light and that will go until we all come to an agreement, or until Kylo Ren decides to throw the first punch. Whichever comes first.” Poe shrugs and Rey frowns.

 

“Can you not at least try to be civil during this. We’re trying to bring the galaxy together, not create an even bigger rift and your….” Rey gestures to all of him, at a loss for words, “Your _you_ is just a bit much for that sort of thing. Are you sure you’ll be able to remain peaceful during negotiations?”

 

“I am nothing if not focused on this objective and I will succeed by any means necessary."

 

I hope so. Rey thinks, chewing her bottom lip again. Force, she hopes this plan of Ben’s will work.

 

 

* * *

 

Finn is sitting in the cantina when Rey finds him. His smile is bright and he stands when she throws herself into his arms. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages.” He breathes into her neck. Rey nods, just hugging her friend, feeling light and carefree for a moment. They sit, Finn, offering to share his roll with her which Rey takes happily.

 

“How have you been? How is Rose?” Rey asks and Finn blushes.

 

“She’s fine. Completely healed and back to work. She usually works through lunch but she and I usually have dinner with Poe when he manages to snag some free time. The position that he’s been given seems to stress him out a bit.” Finn looks up at her and gives a half smile.

 

“I’m here to help him now though,” Rey replies reaching out to touch Finn’s hand. He slips his hand around hers, holding it gently as he nods. She stares at their hands for a moment, taking in the difference between Finn’s hands and Ben’s. Finn’s hands are rough from years of battle training but smaller with a more delicate grip. Ben’s hands are large and warm, callused and scarred from training with sabers from a young age and Rey realizes that she doesn’t know how old Ben is.

 

“I’m glad they have you leading. You’ve always been strong and independent. I think you’ll do great.” Finn tells her and Rey smiles.

 

“Thank you. Honestly, I’m terrified. If this treaty is going to work I can imagine there will be a demand for commanding officers who know what they’re doing. Poe’s been flight leader for longer than we’ve been a part of the Resistance so he’s got what it takes. I have no idea why Leia chose me to be his partner.” Rey admits softly, looking around so no one would notice.

 

“I think she wanted to set you two up.” Finn teases and Rey blushes.

 

“I don’t think...She knows I..” Her voice catches in her throat when Finn pauses looking down at her hand for the first time.

 

“Is that Leia’s ring? Poe was wondering where it had gone to.” Rey blinks down at her hand before her brows furrowed. “She hasn’t worn it in a while. Poe figured she had left it with her belongings at the lake house, but he couldn’t find it when he went to gather things for her pyre.”

 

“Finn... There's… I should…” Rey blushes gently licking her bottom lip.

 

“Oh my god! You and Poe?!” Finn’s voice is louder than before and Rey shushes him looking around with wide eyes.

 

“No. No Finn. Nothing like that. There is someone but I can’t tell you who yet.” Rey isn’t expecting Finn’s reaction.

“Is that why you’ve been so distant? You’ve got yourself a boyfriend?” Rey’s cheeks flush and she shakes her head.

 

“No. Most of it has been stress and stuff. Between being the last Jedi, and getting this promotion to General I just haven’t had much rest with all the stress. This is a huge change from Jakku, Finn.” She drops her eyes to the table and Finn laughs softly.

 

“Well, whoever the guy is, tell him I won’t hesitate to make him eat the end of a blaster if he hurts you,” Finn states, face serious. Rey nods, laughing gently.

 

“Of course, Finn. I wouldn't expect any less.”

 

“Hey did you hear about the new recruits?” Rey smiles as she sits back in her chair, slipping easily back into step with Finn’s conversation like she hadn’t been a neglectful friend. She had missed him and in her head makes a vow to get together with him at least once or twice a week to see how he’s doing.

 

* * *

  


The later meeting is a mess of members consisting of many planetary representatives that had been elected after the destruction of the Galactic Senate on Hosnian Prime, plus a handful of Resistance leaders.

 

  1. All members of the First Order involved in the destruction of Hosnian Prime were not permitted on Core worlds and if they were caught there they shall suffer consequences listed hereafter as a breach of treaty and a threat to Peace.
    1. Stormtroopers shall be pardoned from article 1 as research has concluded that while of sound mind Stormtroopers have been meticulously trained to act under orders given by superiors they have the inability to question without being thrown into harsh reconditioning efforts. (Finn had fought hard for this clause.)
  2. All participation in Military efforts, Republic and First Order respectively, from here on out shall be noncompulsory.
    1. The First Order shall IMMEDIATELY disband Operation Resurrection and replace current methods with an agreed upon method of recruitment between both First Order and Republic representatives.
  3. The recruitment of planets for either Faction is to be noncompulsory.
    1. Extortion is strictly prohibited and negotiations for a planet's declaration to one faction or another must be attended to by a representative of both factions.
  4. All Prisoners of War shall be tried fairly between both factions.
    1. Twelve jurors, six from each faction, shall determine the guilt or innocence of the convicted and thus determine appropriate sentencing that fits the crime (To Be Determined)
    2. All trials are to be privately held.



After some time Rey had zoned out, the Force tugging at the back of her mind, a welcome distraction. While she cared, she felt that the majority of this wasn’t hers to decide the fate of. Afterall she was just a nobody from Jakku when she was pulled into the war and while she was upset over the loss of life, she was only personally affected by the actions of Kylo Ren.

 

_**I wish you wouldn’t think like that. If I knew how to make up for it I would.** _

_I know. I don’t think there is a way._

_**I know. I’ll meet you in the morning, at the Falcon. We have to meet someone to see if our plan will work.** _

_Remind me why I’m trusting you again?_

**_Because you want this to end as much as I do. You want_ ME _as much as I want you._**

_Don’t get ahead of yourself Ben._

_**I’ll see you in the morning, Rey.** _

_Maybe._

 


	13. Balance

It’s early morning when Ren and Rey meet again and she just giggles nervously. The sound goes straight to Ren’s heart and his lips twitch up for a moment before he turns his attention back to their company. They stand before Maz Kanata, her scrutinizing gaze and the long moment of silence causes Rey’s heart speed to up. _This isn’t going to work._ Her voice whimpers in his head and he takes her hand, stroking his thumb along her knuckles.

 

**_It will work. Please have a little faith in me, Freykaa._ ** He tries to soothe her anxious mind but she still fidgets under the inspection of the weathered old woman before them.

 

“I accept,” Maz states relief flooding through Rey as she visibly relaxes, turning a shy smile to Ben.

 

“Now would be most preferable.” Ben states, his expression dark but Rey knows that they are quite pressed for time.

 

“You never did have much patience.” Maz chuckles before she nods and gestures for them to follow.

 

Rey is dressed in white linen pants and a white top that is reminiscent of something his biological grandmother had once worn, the videos from the beginning of the clone wars still available in history lessons of Naboo, and Ben is cloaked in his dark flight suit and cloak, already prepared for the First Order meetings that are to take place later on in the day. The door creaks open and Rey, startled, ducks behind Ben in fear of being seen by someone that shouldn’t be seeing them.

 

“Aza, Mira. Thank you for this.” Ben takes Rey’s elbow carefully in hand and pulls her around to meet his guests. “By Galactic law, we need witnesses for this to work and these are my closest allies.” Rey looks over the two knights that have entered and nods shyly.

 

“I suppose you’re right,” Her acquiescence makes her heart hurt because she knows that the only person who would agree to their bond from her side, from her family is gone, and she sighs softly before offering out her hand.

 

“I..I’m Rey.” The blue Twi’lek steps forward and gives a bow before kissing Rey’s hand, causing a blush to crawl up her fair skin.

 

“I’m Mira Ren. This is my partner Aza.” Rey smiles and offers her hand to Aza who shakes it as Coruscantis do, giving her a bright smile while Mira turns her attention to Ben.

 

“When Kylo told us of this plan we were skeptical, but if this goes the way he wants, I can see this being a better place for everyone. So I have to thank you for agreeing to this. You don't know what this means for us, for everyone.” Aza’s words are soft and kind and Rey smiles, her nerves soothed for the time being.

 

Mira pulls Kylo aside and reaches up to touch his face eyes drifting over to where their companions are conversing in hushed voices.”Ash ohk anan. Ohk dan rackus A’kei? ” _She’s lovely. Are you happy A’kei?_

 

Kylo rests his hand over Mira’s hand, bare skin touching bare skin for the first time in years, and he gives a smile, closing his eyes as he replies. “ Cea y ohk go ekair tae ei kehrecan, kay, sei kkelesa fic ohk nie kuklo vil cea y ohk qa Do karau. Do babee Do toyid xaeo t’u.” **_This isn’t ideal by any means, but, my mind is made up and this is what I want. I wish I could give her more._ **

 

Rey’s eyes shift to watch the conversation between Ben and Mira, her heart squeezing a bit in jealousy. Aza’s hand on her chin pulls Rey from that train of thought. “They’re talking about you. The jealousy is unneeded. Mira is mine and Kylo is yours. After this, the entire universe can fight it but none can break it.” Rey nods slowly.

 

“What are they saying?” She asks and Aza shakes her head.

 

“I cannot give away the secrets of men, but I can give you something if you’d like. Something that he would like in Ryl.” Rey’s eyes search Aza’s for a moment before she nods. Aza leans down to whisper in Rey’s ear and Rey nods again, trying the words silently on her tongue as she watches Ben and Mira converse quietly.

 

“Kay ohk dan rackus? Forahsi?” _But are you happy? Honestly?_ Mira presses and Kylo nods in response.

 

“Do ohk rackus ash ohk tae sei n'irs, ka. Do huhsi babee…” **_I am happy she is by my side, yes. I just wish…_ ** Kylo’s words are cut off by a particularly hard slap to his arm. He frowns down at Aza Ren who has left Rey to stalk over and interrupt them.

 

“Ohk rackus ootay cea y sonarsa cei! Sahak hiko yelniyo ji ohsorsi. Huhsi ohk rackus GUO. Dan salek cea toe cinao jorhi eti jihsi. ASH salek cea toe cinao jorhi dan anmian toyid fic yei a'an. Gan ohk ho CHEE, Kylo, na'es sil go jihsi kay toe guo huhsi karsan eti, dec eti, vil xeuan eti buh dan fic ji canka!” _Be happy in this moment then! Do not worry about the future. Just be happy NOW. You deserve that for however long it lasts. SHE deserves that for however long you both can have each other. We're at WAR, Kylo, happiness may not last but for now just feel it, live it, and enjoy it while you have the time!_  Kylo looks over to where Rey stands, frown pressing her eyebrows down as she chews a dry lip and he can’t stand the look on her face. Taking two steps over he pulls her to him, pressing a soft dry kiss to her mouth.

 

Rey melts into the kiss easily. The words Aza had told her tumbling from her trembling lips as she pulls away, looking Ben in the eyes as she speaks them, uncertain. “Dan ohk vahs Do laboo” _You are all I need._ Kylo’s breath catches in his throat and a smile spreads across his face, a bright dazzling smile that makes Rey’s heart stop for a moment before she is laughing, tears in her eyes as she leans up to kiss him.

 

“Sei anan, sei juh. Force dan ohk hirani. Do cahsinark boo dan ji galaxy ko dan....” **_My love, my light. Force, you're beautiful. I will give you the galaxy if you..._ **

 

“I don’t understand Ryl.” Kylo’s words are cut off and Rey shakes her head before she kisses him again, laughing.

 

“Whenever you’re ready…” Maz Kanata. Kylo and Rey pull apart, startled. With the introduction to the two Knights of Ren Rey had forgotten about Maz’s presence with them. Maz just laughs before holding out her hand. Mira pulls a grey scarf from her pocket and offers it to Maz who nods. “This will do.”

Rey shifts uncomfortably as Maz goes silent. Ben’s hand reaches out, an offering, his hands bare and Rey accepts it this time, her eyes meeting his. She feels shy under the emotion she sees there, but she feels the same in her heart.

 

“There is no Dark Side, nor a Light, there is only the force.”

 

Rey doesn’t know why she’s compelled to repeat the words but she does, in unison with Ben. “There is no Dark Side, nor a Light. There is only the force.” She continues on without prompting and she doesn’t know where the words come from but they’re there and they flow as easily as breathing, like some song committed to memory from long ago.

 

“I will do what I must to keep the balance, The balance is what keeps me together.” Her voice is soft where he is bold. They are the balance of which they speak.

 

“There is no good without evil,” Rey whispers to Ben, the world has fallen away even though she can feel Maz tying the scarf around her hand and Ben’s.

 

“But evil must not be allowed to flourish.” Ben’s free hand raises to touch, to embrace, her cheek and she wants to close her eyes, nuzzle into his hand but something stops her, words lingering on her tongue.

 

“There is passion,”

 

“Yet emotion.” Ben’s voice breaks but his smile lights up his eyes and she can feel the emotion through his hand, through their bond, and she knows somewhere deep inside of him the emotions he had been beaten to suppress as a young man were flowing, crashing, against the barriers he has forced into place.

 

“Serenity.”

 

“Gods I need Serenity.” Ben’s voice breaks her and she’s crying through her laughter.

 

“There’s Serenity,” She tries again, laughter bubbling from her lips.

 

“Yet peace.” **_Force let peace come from this._ ** Rey hears his thought and smiles. **_For you, I will fight the entire galaxy alone to have peace._ **

 

_That kind of defeats the purpose of peace, Ben._

 

“Chaos.” He’s taken her words but she doesn’t mind. This word, chaos, alludes to him more than she.

 

“Yet order.”

 

“I am the wielder of the flame, the protector of balance.” **_I will protect you always._ ** His voice is a possessive rumble in her head.

 

“I am the holder of the torch, lighting the way.” _I will light your way, always._ His heart constricts and he is breathless for a moment at her voice in his head, her free hand mirroring his, fingers brushing over the scar she had given him, her mark and claim. He turns his head into her palm, closing his eyes. He doesn’t have the strength to look at her anymore, she is blinding.

 

“I am the keeper of the flame, the soldier of balance.” **_I will give everything I have for this to work. I swear._ ** The truth of his words sears her heart and tears fall in earnest as she turns to press her lips into his palm.

 

_I love you._

 

**_I know._ **

 

“I am a guardian of balance.” Their final words whispered together, send a ripple through the force that causes Mira and Aza to step back in shock. It ripples in the air around them, tossing loose hair in a tizzy as electricity crackles in the air.

 

Maz breaks the silence after a few moments, a bright grin on her face. “Ben, you may kiss your bride.” Ben pries his eyes open to look at Rey, her nose and cheeks are red as she cries softly. He turns her face to him, concern etched in his brow but when she finally opens her eyes she gives him the brightest smile. She is his sun and earth and he is the moon helpless to her pull. He lifts their joined hands to her face, cradling her small jaw in his large hands and leans forward to kiss her.

 

Rey surges up into him, returning the kiss as her free fingers find their way into his hair and the Force shifts around them again, settling over them like peace.

 

Mira looks at Aza, kissing her softly before they step away to let the two have a moment of peace. “Nie dan karsan cea, Sei anan? Ji clirhkolk?” _Did you feel that, my love? The shift?_

 

Aza kisses Mira gently on the cheek. “ Cloyan san eu jinqa sahak vil Do mtan akolan ho ji teaka bo ji Bea bo Coruscant arhsisi anoyan.” _Find me someone who did not and I shall worship at the feet of the Gods of Coruscant instead of the Force._ She frowns when Mira pulls away, concern lacing dark eyes.

 

“Do ceh eti sil go ohk a loo ea.” _I fear it may not be a good thing._ Mira’s concern sweeps through Aza now, who nods and slips her arm through her partner’s so they can return to their quarters and prepare for the preliminary meetings to be held that day.

 

“We shall have to keep our guard up and keep our ears to the ground, then.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The two Ryl Words that are in this story that didn't get translated:
> 
> Freykaa: Beloved  
> A’kei: male family/clan member
> 
>  
> 
> Whee! Okay, so, Usually when I post a chapter I have the next one finished and I am starting on another, however with school bearing down to the final weeks (I have a month left of my degree program WooHoo!) I've had 2 massive final projects dumped on me (For the same class) and two finals I have to prepare for in other classes. I haven't had as much time to write as I would like, but I do have most of this story planned out to where I want it to go. With that being said, I'm going to change posting days to Fridays instead of Thursdays because I only work study for 2 hours before I have the rest of the day free. That gives me time to go through the chapter a few more times (I read each chapter like 3 times and edit as I go) and to work a bit on the next chapter if I need to.
> 
> With that being said I have most of chapter 14 written and should be starting 15 soon. I've also reached 100 followers on Tumblr, so I'm posting some 'deleted/scrapped scenes' as a sort of thank you to my followers, posted [Here.](http://sirirps.tumblr.com/post/172658690544/a-gift-for-having-100-followers)  
> If you're enjoying this fic, please share it with others, leave Kudos and a Comment, and come chat with me over at [@SiriRps](https://twitter.com/SiriRps) on Twitter or [SiriRps](http://sirirps.tumblr.com) on Tumblr. Also, If anyone is interested in being my Beta please drop me a message on twitter or tumblr and let me know. As of right now everything up to this point is unbeta'd and I would love to have someone else to bounce ideas off of as well as another set of eyes to go over my grammar and such, especially the earlier chapters where I know I messed up on my tenses a few times. (I went back and corrected some while working on my timeline, however, I've probably missed some issues.)


	14. Bliss

He can’t ever remember being this happy. The stress of being the Supreme Leader is gone and at this moment he is just a boy who loves a girl who loves him back. She giggles at his thoughts and he smiles. He waves his hand, easily unlocking a door before pulling her in with him. Kissing her hard he looms over her and she can’t help but giggle and the sound makes his heart soar.

 

“You’re beautiful,” he whispers, running his fingers through the loose strands of hair at her temple. He’s resting with his hands on either side of her head and her face is alight with nervous laughter at the situation they’ve suddenly found themselves in. He pulls her to him so she is pressed against the entire length of his body. “You’re so beautiful.” His voice breaks and she blushes realizing that once again he’s completely in awe of her.

 

His hands smooth up and down her back and she shivers, her eyes closing as his bare fingers curl around the base of her neck when he kisses her again. Their bond hums with pleasure and it’s a shared sensation that zings from his chest to his groin. He tugs gently and the sensation grows and he can’t help but chuckle; she gets the same small pleasure from receiving pain that he does from causing it. He turns them, their feet stumbling together and he chuckles as she giggles before her back meets the other wall and his mouth meets hers again.

 

Her hands feel like they’re everywhere, grasping the nape of his neck, his bicep, his jaw and it’s too much too soon and he’s pinning her hands above her head and she’s moaning into his mouth and he has to stop. He needs to stop or he may do something he’ll regret later. He steps back and she slumps down the wall a bit. He hadn’t realized he had pinned her so well she was standing on her toes while they kissed.

 

Her laugh meets his ears and her hands are on him, her fingers curling in the shirt at his waist as she tries to pull him back to her. “Why did you stop?” She asks her fingers moving to the collar of his shirt so she can tug him down to her level, kissing him again.

 

“Rey.” His voice is a low growl as he moves his mouth to her neck, pressing kisses there. “I don’t…” She’s moving against him and he can’t think. He stills her by her hips, his hands spanning most of her pelvis easily as he presses her against the wall in an attempt to give himself some distance. “I can’t think when you’re moving like that,” he whispers, his mouth against her neck again.

 

“Then don’t… don’t think.” Rey whispers and he chuckles again.

 

“I have to, starshine. I… I’ve never… and I don’t… I don’t want this to be something you’ll regret later.” his voice is pained and she stills, curling her fingers in his hair and pulling, directing him to look at her once more.

 

“I want this.” she breathes, pressing her lips to his cheek tenderly. “I want this. I want you. When will there be a better time?”

 

“Okay…” his voice mirrors his ‘please’ from aboard the Supremacy. “I don’t…” he swallows thickly and searches her eyes. “I’ve never…”

 

“Neither have I… we… we can figure it out together?” Rey whispers, and when he nods she looks around the room suddenly realizing where they are. “What room are we in?” She asks curiously. Ren shrugs and she laughs. “Stay here.” He nods watching curiously as she darts for the door.

 

When she is gone he pulls out the com device and dials the private frequency of Mira Ren. “Mira… Mira, it’s Kylo… I need…” His voice dies away.

 

“What do you need Kylo? Are you alright? Where are you? I can be there in a few moments.”  Mira’s voice sounds panicked but Ren shakes his head.

 

“No.. no I just… It’s Rey. I’m with Rey and we’re… and I don’t know what to do.” Mira’s laughter makes him frown.

 

“You called me for sex advice Kylo?”

 

“I… Maybe?” Mira laughs more. 

 

“Okay so… just a couple of things.”

  
  
  
  


Rey’s hands tremble as she digs through Poe’s bag to find the kit she was looking for. He had always bragged about how prepared he was for any encounter. She keeps looking over her shoulder towards the door, afraid she will get caught in the room Poe is sharing with Finn, but in her defense, they had left the adjoining rooms open. When she finds what she is seeking she sticks them in her pocket before darting from the room, cheeks red as she tries to remember which room Ben had broken into after leaving Maz in the meeting room.

 

Knocking shyly Rey smiles when Ren opens the door, relief written across his face as he pulls her by her upper arm into the room. “I… I thought for a minute you had left.”

 

Rey shakes her head and pulls the packets from her pocket to place in his hand, cheeks hot. He looks at them for a moment before surprise registers on his face and he nods, moving to set them on the bedside table before pulling her to him, placing a gentle kiss on her mouth. To her, gentle doesn’t feel right, coming from him. It reminded her of the careful way Poe had touched her back on Mimban.

 

Anger surges through the bond then and Ren’s hand is on her hip and his tongue is in her mouth and pleasure surges through her in just the right way. This was what she wanted. Not soft and tender but him and all of his rough anger. This was what she had fallen into. She tries, for a moment, to overpower him but she finds herself pressed into the corner with his teeth nipping at her bottom lip and all she can do is moan.

 

She curls her fingers in his hair and tugs, his head snapping back with a groan to willingly give her access to his neck. She presses kisses there and earns a filthy noise from him when she tests her teeth on the spot he had left a hickey on her some weeks before, and the noise surges through her. She pulls away panting and looks up at him to find herself mirrored in his dark eyes.

 

She’s far too far away for his tastes so dipping low he presses his fingers along the crest of her ass -where the bum meets leg- and pulls, hoisting her onto his hips and pressing her to the wall in a movement that brings her in contact with the most intimate part of him. They both pull away in surprise at the mixed sensation, foreheads pressed together as they just breathe.

 

He has to tilt his head up to kiss her now, but he doesn’t mind because her hands are on his face and her mouth is on his and she is completely and wholly at his mercy. He presses himself against her and she kriffing keens. It’s a high pitched, breathless sound that he forces from her by repeating his action from before and because he’s so inept at controlling himself in this instance he has to stop moving for fear of his orgasm being so close just from the noises she’s making.

 

He turns to drop her on the nearest bed and he isn’t gentle but she laughs as she thumps against the mattress and reaches for him again that name ghosting her lips as she does. “Ben.” It's only one word but it’s his undoing.

 

She gasps when his hands are on her again, bare hands against the bare skin of her sides as he pushes her shirt up her stomach and presses open-mouthed kisses to every inch of skin he exposes. She’s breathless by the time the shirt is up over her ribs and nestled firmly just under her breasts. His eyes swim into view again and she blinks, wondering why it had gone fuzzy for a moment before his hands are on her hips again. “Are you sure?” He asks and she nods, tugging her shirt over her head, bringing the band around her breasts to follow it, dropping it off the side of the bed as she goes. 

 

She shifts under his appreciative gaze feeling suddenly self-conscious, but the look of wonder on his face makes her heart skip a beat as he trails careful fingers from her collarbone, down her chest to flutter over delicate dark nipples before brushing along the underside, his hands shifting to grasp gently and palm her breasts, testing their fullness in his hands. “You’re so kriffing gorgeous,” he whispers. “You don’t even know how dazzling you are.” He continues the track of his fingers downwards to curl across her ribs and down her stomach, her mouth dry as she watches the emotions flit across his face, all positive.

 

He finds a spot over her hip bone that causes her to gasp, and he grins a face-splitting grin as he dips down to attach his mouth to that spot, earning himself a low groan as Rey’s fingers curl around the locks of hair under her hands. His lips follow her hip bone before he moves to the other one and she’s completely at his mercy, unsure what else to do with her hands while his rove her body. 

 

His mouth stills and he looks up at her with a look that takes her breath away. His dark hair falls into his eyes and around his face, brushing against the pale skin and before she can gather words to ask him why he’s stopped he’s leaning back to undo the tunic he wears and drops it with her clothes before tugging the shirt off. 

 

He looks even larger from her spot spread out across the bed. She watches as he pulls his shirt off and giggles as his hair fluffs a bit before he’s leaning over her legs to tug on the waist of her pants. “You’re sure about this?” He asks and his eyes look so innocent, wide and cautious, and Rey can’t help but lean up to kiss him. Her hands skim up his stomach and chest as she kisses him and she shifts so she’s kneeling on the bed in front of him, her fingers tugging at his pants. 

 

“If you ask me one more time …” She gets his pants open and tugs them down, her eyes locked on his as she lets her hands explore him. The contrast of skin to air is significant and goosebumps form where her fingers trial. As her hand brushes his bare cock he’s grabbing her hands and forcing her back onto the bed with a shake of his head. 

 

“I… I want this to be good for you.” He whispers and his face is so earnest that she settles back onto the bed allowing him to lead. He kicks off his boots and pants and moves his hands to her waist, tugging the fabric from her hips and slowly down her legs and the motion earns him a giggle from her as she watches him struggle with her boots for a moment. He glowers at her but she feels no malintent through the bond and her giggles increase into full blown laughter and he’s pulled into her laughter, giving a soft laugh himself. His voice is rough from misuse and he realizes he hasn’t laughed since he was young. It feels good to laugh. He lays next to her for a moment and just takes it in, her laughing at him and him laughing just because she is.

 

She’s distracted from her laughter for a moment when his hands are on her again, his entire body pressed to her side and his hand stroking along her hip while his mouth worries the skin below her ear. Her breath hitches when his hands trail lower and he finds a sensitive spot and presses and she can’t keep her hips from jerking at the sudden sensation.

 

It had only been recently that she had begun to explore her own body, her self-discovery coming the first time she had been given access to one of the Resistance’s showers. His hands are gentle, but not quite where she wants them and it frustrates her for a moment before she remembers that he’s learning her just as she’s learning him. Carefully she takes his hand and moves it just so and she gasps when he takes the direction and runs with it, pleasure surging through her core causing her fingers to curl around his bicep. “There?” he asks and she just nods, breath caught in her throat and mouth too dry to answer. 

His fingers are bigger than hers, cover more space and feel different than hers when he finally slips two into the core of her sex. She can feel the second knuckles sink past the entrance for a moment and he groans his cock twitching against her hip. He shifts so he can lean up on his elbow to watch her face as he moves his fingers carefully, stretching and pulling and dragging them along the roof of her vagina. One brush makes her breath catch in her chest as his fingertips drag along a particular spot and she feels like her muscles may pull apart from how tense it makes her. 

 

His breath is hot on her neck and she just wants to feel his body against hers. So she shifts over a bit to stroke her hand up his hip before she finds his cock and tugs and he gasps and jerks away, a sound low in his chest that shifts into a chuckle. “Easy.” He kisses her temple, pulling his hand away from her crotch to take her hand and show her the proper way to touch him. 

 

She’s embarrassed that she had hurt him but he kisses away her thoughts and returns his fingers to stretching her carefully, his thumb brushing against the sensitive spot above it as he works her open with his fingers. Each brush of his thumb earns him a small gasp from her lips and his lips under her ear earns him a low moan.

 

It’s exquisite torture, Ren’s hand on her, but the pace grates on her nerves, causing her to grind her teeth as her hips jerk into his hand, searching for more friction. “F...Faster, more … please.” she pleads and he complies, moving his thumb in earnest.

 

It takes him several more minutes to get her to the point where she’s tense, a high strung cord gasping into the air. Her stomach muscles spasm and her toes curl against his shin and she lets out a low laugh when she finds her release, breath shuddering as she rolls her hips against his hand, trying to prolong the exquisite pleasure curling in her groin. He pulls wet fingers carefully from her and pulls her hand away from his cock, smearing her own juices against her wrist, but she doesn’t have time to react because he’s moving, reaching across her to grab one of the condoms from the bedside table. 

 

He’s thankful that this was something he had been taught by one of his knights as a teenager. Rolling it on carefully he pressed kisses along Rey’s collarbones and up her neck before leaning up, his eyes searching hers. She wants this and she knows that he’s asking her, again, if she’s sure. In a snap decision, she is on her knees pressing her full weight against her torso and pulling his mouth down to meet her while she shifts and fumbles trying to figure out how to get exactly what she wants.

 

The bond doesn’t help either of them, their thoughts are chaotic and so many sensations and feelings. He takes a breath and suddenly he finds himself sitting with her straddling his hips and this could work he realizes. He stills her hips for a moment, reaching around her to position himself, intent on easing them both into it, but she has other ideas, fully seating herself upon him in a manner that makes her cry out, her face falling to his shoulder and he groans into her hair before pain laces through their bond and his concern overshadows the shock and pleasure of being held so tightly by her body.He cups her chin with one hand to tip her face up to his and he kisses her gently, trying to decide what exactly what he should do. 

 

She shifts and gasps, there’s pain at the apex of her thighs, but deeper, deeper feels better, it feels right although a little awkward and she shifts, the motion causing him to groan and the flutter of butterflies to curl around the base of her stomach. He shifts, one hand curling along her back to cradle the back of her head while the other guides them into a different position, him settling her back onto her back before he untangles one of her legs from his waist and she gasps at the shift that pulls him deeper. He shifts carefully, a bare movement and this isn’t so bad once she ignores the discomfort where skin meets skin. “M-move.” She whispers and she doesn’t know if it will help but she wants to try. She’s heard stories of it hurting and then getting better and she knew she wanted to see for herself. 

 

Ren groans and complies, resting on his knees with his elbows resting on either side of her head. He cradles her head in his hands and kisses her as he moves, pulling out and pressing in again in a motion that was too slow and too gentle for her. Him being gentle is hard for her believe. If she didn’t know better she would believe she was with someone else and not him. That thought causes him to jerk deeper into her, thrusting harder than he had intended and there was the keen again and he shifts, drawing back to do it again, and again he was blessed with that noise from her throat.

 

She shifts and gasps. It still hurts but the curl of pleasure when he moves just right elicits pleasure to her core. It’s imperfect and he stops and starts but she enjoys it enough to chase that sensation. She isn’t sure what exactly to do so all she can do is grasp his biceps and pray to the force that she doesn’t completely come apart from this. Her thoughts are muddled and bright and she hasn’t completely decided whether she likes this or not, but then his fingers have found that sensitive spot above where they’re joined and pleasure sings through her blood and their bond and she’s gasping aloud, her fingers digging crescent moons into his shoulders. His mouth moves to her breast and she’s surrounded by sensations that overwhelm her.

 

His tongue is tender on her breast, sucking and pulling on her nipple, his fingers rubbing her clit clumsily but enough to send pleasure coursing through her stomach to her toes and causing her to arch against him because her body is betraying her. Of all of the emotions he outwardly displays, pleasure, is one that she only feels through the bond, all of his concentration on her, not himself and she feels selfish at that moment. 

 

He pulls away to kiss her, adjusting his grip so he can press in harder, deeper and she’s gasping aloud again. His groan mixes with hers and she can feel everything between them including his pleasure at being held so tightly between her legs and the delicious amount of friction he feels and it’s enough to cause her to give a gasping cry as she tenses again, her hips jerking to meet Ren’s thrusts a few times,his fingers still moving between them, before she feels all of the tension ease from her body in one heavy shuddered breath and she’s laughing. She can feel his grin against her shoulder where he presses a kiss as he stills and carefully pulls out of her, tossing the condom into the trash next to the bed. 

 

She twists and curls until she’s snuggled against his side, his arms across her shoulders under her neck. She hurts but as he shifts onto his side to pull her closer so his nose is brushing along hers she lets herself slip into contented bliss and smiles when he presses a gentle kiss to her mouth. His sigh escapes softly from his nose and fingers curl around her ear and jaw as he holds her close. Her eyes close as his widen and the force suddenly shifts into a place that feels like chaos and harmony and overall peace and at that moment she’s sure of him, he’s sure of his plan, and they’re sure of the feeling between them.

 

And above all else, there is the knowledge that nothing can stop them now.

  
  



	15. Revelation

“Tell me about Mira?” 

 

The question startles Ren from his thoughts and he looks up to see Rey looking at him expectantly.

 

“What are you wanting to know?” For newlyweds, Mr. and Mrs. Solo are more than tame. While they love each other, or what Rey believes is as close to love as Kylo can express, they both know that the image they portray can make or break the negotiations set to happen later in the day.

 

“She’s your right hand, isn’t she?” Rey asks, dropping her eyes to scan over something on her holopad before looking back up at him.

 

“Eti, not she, is, yes.” Ben’s correction is soft as he nods. “Eti is a Ryl term given to those who choose to not identify with a gender.” He can read Rey’s confusion on her face and continues. “Mira doesn’t identify as female or male, but somewhere in between, as does another of my knights, Arius. Arius, however, is a Clawdite. As Clawdite eti shifts between genders and prefers whichever gender eti is that day.” Ben gives a shrug and Rey smiles gently. She never really pictured Kylo Ren to be one to have friends, but the way his face softens when he talks about his knights makes Rey realize that, even if he doesn’t see it the same way as she, he cares about them.

 

“Are they the students that went with you after the Temple?” She asks quietly and Ben nods. He moves from his seat, an overly large office chair at the head of the meeting room table, to sit at the other end of the couch Rey had chosen to spread out and read on. He lifts her feet and places them gently in his lap, taking one to rub gently - something to keep his hands busy in an innocent way - he gives her a small smile, the corner of his lips tipping upward. “Mira was the first person I ran to when I collapsed the ceiling of my room.”

 

“Really?” 

 

“Yeah. Eti had been like a sibling to me for the longest time. While I was withdrawn from everyone else eti wouldn’t leave me be. We were often paired together for sparring because eti was the only one in my group who evenly matched me in physical strength even though I have a better control over the force.” He brushes his fingers along the bottom of her foot in slow delicate circles. 

 

“I was withdrawn at first, never really talked to the other younglings or padawans, you know. But eti stuck to me like bacta. Then Aza came along and Mira insisted I get to know her because Mira was absolutely smitten. The twins, Thea and Theo, they were friends with Aza, and Phieus and Arius were sparring partners that Mira befriended during our training sessions.” Rey keens softly, her mouth falling open with a sharp intake of breath when his thumb finds a knot along the ball of her foot right below her third and fourth toes. Her eyes flutter closed and he smiles at the reaction, hoping his body won’t give away what the sound she just made could do to him.

 

“H-how did they end up with you?” She asks, breathlessly, and Ben keeps up the motion with his hand, pressing and stroking gentle, but firm, strokes along the ball of her foot.

 

“I ran to Mira after I thought I had killed Luke. Eti was so mad, the room we were in started on fire. I’m not sure who started the killing, but I know for a fact Rey, and I will swear it on the force and every deity known to every species in the galaxy, I don't remember ever laying a hand on any of them…” His voice breaks as he tries to explain, “O-on any of those children and I don’t believe Mira or Aza did either. Much of that night afterward was a blur. I remember coming completely aware when I felt the Force screaming in my head, but between running to Mira and waking up in that cold room with Snoke’s voice so loud in my head I don’t recall much more of that night.” Rey nods silently. She remembers some of the grief and despair she had felt through him when the force had thrown them into each other’s worst moments. 

 

“You’re not alone here. Not anymore. You have me and your Knights and maybe someday you will win over some of the resistance as well.” Ben snorts at that and shakes his head. 

 

“I’m pretty sure they’re all scared to death of me.”

 

“I wouldn’t be so sure. You may have Finn to thank for some leniency that may be spared towards you.” Ben raises an eyebrow and Rey smiles gently. “You’ll have to wait until later to find out what exactly can be decided among the delegates.”

 

“Did you have friends growing up? I can’t imagine how you flourished in such a place without becoming bitter and hurtful like me.” Rey blushes shaking her head.

 

“No, I had a few companions, but everyone always left so I learned quickly to only depend on myself. I found a flower once, at the entrance of the old AT-AT I used to live in when I was close to giving up. I saw that if this flower could survive in such a desolate place then I could too, after all, I’m stronger than a fragile flower. From that point on I vowed to survive, if not for me then for my family.” Rey turns her attention back to her holopad and frowns rubbing her eyes.

 

“What are you working on?” He asks curiously as he eyes his paperwork across the table from where they sit. He had abandoned it in favor of spending time with his new wife, and he isn’t disappointed with the way the Force flows and settles around them peacefully. Rey offers up the Holopad to him and he laughs gently. “Jedi texts? I would have thought you would have finished them by now.” 

 

“I’m not the strongest of readers, and there are some words I don’t really understand,” Rey replies with a frown and he Ben nods, setting the holopad on his knee so he can project the image up so they can both see before he begins to read aloud what the texts say. Oddly enough the part Rey is reading is about Kaiburr Crystals from the Temple of Pomojema on Mimban. 

 

“Is this where you got your crystals?” He asks recalling the cave they shared their first Force vision in, and the color of her lightsaber. She nods sleepily, resting her head back on the armrest.

 

“Interesting. I didn’t know that there were any Kaiburr crystals left, although legends say they occur naturally there and allow one’s access to the force to flourish.”

 

“My saber changes colors,” Rey whispers shyly and Ben turns to look at her. “I was showing Finn and it was a darker, more blue color than it was with you.” Ben frowns and turns his attention to the holopad, curiously flipping through the pages.

 

He finishes reading through the information on crystals and gets an idea of why her saber’s color changes, but when he turns his attention back to Rey, Ben notices that her eyes are closed and she’s breathing slow and even. He smiles softly, shifting a bit so he can rest his head back against the couch and just listen to her breathe, taking in the peace he feels for the first time in the longest amount of time.

 

* * *

 

Rey is startled awake by loud voices outside. She sits up, rubbing an eye as she looks around. Ben is gone, but the door to the meeting room they are in is closed. Sighing softly she stands and goes to the door, pausing for a moment to listen before she decides whether or not to make her presence known.

 

“You do realize how dangerous this is, right? I don’t see why you didn’t consult with the rest of us before you went and did something so hairbrained.” Rey doesn’t recognize the voice, but his tone makes her skin crawl.

 

“What I do with my personal life is none of your business, Phieus.” Ben’s voice is muted, she’s only ever heard that tone used in her presence before.

 

“Your compassion for her is going to get us all killed. You do know that if you announce this out in front of everyone they’re going to think you have mind tricked her into it. You know that right?” Phieus sounds angry and Rey is stunned that someone would speak out against their commanding officer like he did, but she also remembers that they probably don’t have an ordinary chain of command either.

 

“You do realize I can’t do that very well, right? I can delve into minds and take information, but I can’t compel people like she can. So they should worry more about her compelling me to marry her instead of the other way around. Just getting her to agree to this is a blessing I’m not going to take for granted” Rey chuckles at this. It was good to know that Kylo Ren can’t compel people well because before she had only known that he couldn’t compel her. She also notes the harshness of his voice and realizes Kylo Ren is back.

 

“You support this?” 

 

“We wanted peace and this is how we shall get it.” Mira’s voice cuts in and Rey relaxes, so this is a group discussion. Good, at least Ren has someone to argue his side with him. “This is how we shall get peace, not by fighting each other but supporting one another. We have the funding the Republic needs. We can sway many planets to our side because we have the funding to get them out of debt and to get their economies running better. We have a plan. Our stormtroopers are an effective military. We should be worrying about slave trade more than fighting between each other.” Rey appreciates how rational and confident the Twi’lek sounds. They will need someone like eti for during the negotiations.

 

“You’re both being ridiculous. You do know they’re going to put us to death for the Jedi temple and all of the people we’ve killed, right?” This voice is different, another male so she can only assume it’s either Arius or Theo Ren, Two of 4 of the Knights of Ren she hasn’t met yet.

 

“People you’ve killed you mean.” Aza has thrown her voice into the argument. “Mira and I have killed no one. Kylo’s killed what… 3.. 4?” She pauses and Rey imagines Aza is looking for confirmation from either Mira or Kylo. “4 people. And it can be argued he attempted to kill two.” Rey’s heart stutters a bit. She knew Kylo had killed, it wasn’t a question in her mind at all that she loved a murderer, but she wasn’t exactly a saint. She had killed more than her share of the Praetorian Guard in Snoke’s throne room, but to hear that Kylo Ren’s kill number is so few is more than Rey could have ever asked for.

 

“Add numerous hostage situations to that too, but the blood is primarily on your hands Phieus, not ours. The commitment set forth for our side of the discussion has looked at all possible outlets of punishment. We can work this out.” Mira’s voice is back and Rey leans against the wall by the door, listening curiously.

 

“I know they’re bringing up a clause for stormtroopers to not be held responsible for their killings, because of their conditioning. I feel like that should go towards us as well because we were following orders, too.” Ben’s voice cuts in and Rey nods. She was planning on arguing that point during discussions. Kylo and his Knights were just following orders of a corrupt leader. She wonders if he had pried into her information on her holopad or if he had already known about it beforehand. Maybe she had projected in her sleep?

 

Yawning softly Rey rolls her shoulders and moves to settle back down on the couch. The voices get louder but she shifts onto her side, trying to block it out so she can settle back down for another nap.

 

* * *

  
  


“Rey.” 

 

Rey startles awake at the warm hand on her shoulder. She gives a sleepy smile at the dark haired man above her, reaching up to touch his face before she realizes that he’s much too small to be her husband. Sitting up with a squeak she looks at Poe wide-eyed before blinking around at the gathered group. Clearing her throat Rey gives Poe a smile before brushing the hair from her eyes and adjusting the band in her hair. “I must have dozed off. I’m sorry.” She whispers standing slowly to pull on her shoes and move to her chair. 

 

The others mill about the room until the members of the committee from the First Order begin to arrive. Rey’s attention is instantly drawn to the Knights of Ren. Mira and Aza enter first and Rey stands with a soft sigh, moving to greet them while the rest of the Resistance committee makes no attempt at propriety. “Mira, Aza, It’s good to see you again.” She gives them both a smile and can feel the waves of discomfort rolling off of Finn and Poe, who stand only a few feet away and can hear the exchange. 

 

“It is, yes.” Mira dips to kiss Rey’s hand and Rey smiles gently before shaking hands with Aza. “These are Thea and Theo Ren.” Rey offers her hands to the two knights, earning another kiss from Theo and a disdainful look from Thea but it doesn’t bother Rey as much as she figured it would. Aza pulls Rey’s attention as the other two knights move to find their seats. “I assume you already know General Armitage Hux.”

 

“We’ve met.” Finn’s voice isn’t pleased as he steps up to stand next to Rey, arms crossed over his chest as Poe moves to Rey’s other side. 

 

“Yes, well, we also have Major Edrison Peavey of the Finalizer and Admiral Aria Cooper of the Subjugator.” Aza introduces the two finely dressed officers and Rey nods, offering her hand to them. Poe rests his hand on her shoulder and Rey frowns up at him before pulling away to greet the Officers before turning to General Hux.

 

“I don’t believe we’ve properly met before, but I hope that the past can be put behind us and we can move forward to a better future for everyone.” She offered her hand to Hux who just sneers at it before moving to take his seat at the end of the table. When Rey turns back to Mira and Aza they shrug and turn their attention to Rey’s companions.

 

“Poe Dameron is our General,”

 

“Admiral, actually.” Poe corrects and Rey frowns at him in confusion.

 

“Since you’ve taken over General I’m the Admiral now. You control the ground side of things and I’ve got things from the air” Rey shakes her head before nodding, “Right well, I’m still learning things about this, obviously. I’m sure you’ve already met Finn at some point. We’ve also have Capitan Kaydel Connix and Commander Tallissan Lintra.” The two ladies eye Finn and Poe, who had taken a step back as the two Knights step forward and offered their hands in greeting. 

 

“I’ve been fighting this war since I was young. I’ve spent the last two days hearing gunfire and  screams in my sleep.” Connix states softly, shaking hands with Aza. “I hope we can end this properly before we lose more people.”

 

“I couldn’t agree more. That is our goal here, to resolve things and bring peace across the galaxy.” Aza replies with a nod of her head, dark hair falling into her eyes for a brief moment before she flicks it aside with a smile. 

 

“Tallie. My name Is Tallie.” Tallie greets Mira who laughs gently. 

 

“It’s fine. I promise I’m not going to bite.” Mira replies dipping to kiss Tallie’s hand. The blonde’s cheeks flush red and she clears her throat gently. 

 

“Does everyone do that? Or..?” Tallie is clearly embarrassed and Mira chuckles.

 

“While I’m neither male nor female, I feel bowing to a pretty lady is the only proper way to greet them, much like the male knights so that’s what I’ve adopted because it feels right.” Mira smiles at Aza who rolls her eyes and steps over to cut into their conversation, switching people so she can greet Tallie as well.

 

“Mira just likes to show off.” Rey laughs at this as the other Resistance members, people whom Rey doesn’t know personally, enter.

 

Well, scurrying would be a better word.

 

Rey is puzzled by the quick entrance of the 3 other Resistance officers but realizes why shortly after as Kylo Ren enters, all dark clothing and intimidating height cloaked in black fabric and she can’t help the snicker that comes from her as the entire room goes silent.

 

As Ren stalks towards them, Rey feels Poe and Finn take another step back as Mira and Aza shift to Rey’s side silently, bowing to their commanding officer as he makes his way over. “Dismissed.” The members of the First order step away from the introductions and greetings taking place and move to find their seats without argument.

 

“You just love to make an entrance don’t you.” Rey laughs softly and the side of Ren’s lip twitch up as he shrugs. 

 

“No better way to get everyone’s attention.” His hand finds Rey’s waist and she stiffens a bit. 

 

**_Ready for this?_ **

 

_ Ben, don’t. _

 

**_You’re my wife, I kiss you when I please, consequences be damned._ **

 

Pulling her closer, Kylo Ren leans forward to press a gentle kiss to Rey’s mouth. 

 

_ You really do have a death wish, don’t you?  _

 

**_Only if it’s by your hand._ **

 

She laughs gently against his lips before they share a kiss for one quiet, breathless moment. 

 

When he pulls away from her, chaos ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up, I've only got part of chapter 16 written and with finals and things coming up I'm not sure how much time I will have to write, so there won't be an update next week (April 27th) but the week after (May 3rdish) I will try to have another chapter ready to post. 
> 
> For more updates, snippets of writing for this or other fics I'm writing, or to just come over and fan about my works, Reylo, or anything Star Wars related hit me up on Tumblr or Twitter with the username SiriRps.


	16. Battlefeild

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> May the 4th be with you always!

Before anyone can breathe Rey is being pulled from Kylo’s arms and a fist connects solidly with his angled jaw. Rey hisses and flings her elbow back, catching someone, Finn, roughly in the stomach causing him to double over in a gasp of pain. “Ouch. Fuck.” Finn gasps gripping his stomach as he wheezes trying to regain his breath. “What was that for?” 

 

Rey’s attention is no longer on Finn but the grappling pair on the ground. While Poe’s fist had connected well, he wasn’t fairing the best against Kylo physically and Rey could feel that he wasn’t using the force to gain the advantage, he was just that much stronger than the other male.

 

“Stop. Stop it.” Rey threw out her hands, easily separating the two fighters, flinging Poe onto the couch and Kylo back against the wall. “What in the Force has gotten into you!” She was yelling at Poe. “This is absolutely unacceptable! You’re out of line Dameron!”

 

“Me! He’s the one sexually harassing my officers.” Poe protests, a loud snort of disapproval coming from Kylo.

 

**_I imagine his head would explode if he knew just how harassed you were last night._ **

 

“You shut up, you’re just making the situation worse.” Rey tosses the words over her shoulder to Kylo who has risen to his full height but keeps his back pressed to the wall. The entire room is stunned silent by Rey’s sharp words towards Kylo. No one gets away with speaking to him like she has. His nose is dripping blood, a bruise already blooming across the left side of his jaw, but he wears a smirk with one eyebrow raised. Turning her attention back to Poe she sighs gently.

 

“He wasn’t ‘harassing’ me,” Rey tells Poe, tossing hair from her eyes as she stands to her full height arms crossed over her chest. She takes a deep breath before continuing holding her hand up as evidence. “He’s my husband, and as much as everyone is displeased by it,” She tosses a glare over her shoulder at Kylo “he’s allowed to kiss me when he sees fit.” Everyone starts talking at once and Rey fights to keep up.

 

“Husband?” Finn looks like a kicked puppy

 

_ “ _ This is treason! _ ” _ General Hux’s face is decidedly redder than before.

 

“Treason? That’s funny coming from you.” Connix snaps at Hux.

 

“You can’t be serious.”

 

The Knights of Ren stand when Poe does, Mira and Aza moving to stand at Rey’s side, effectively putting a barrier between Poe and Kylo. Rey is tired of this. She just wanted a civil discussion between the two factions, but she knows she will have to make her case fast in hopes it will diffuse the tension.

 

“E-enough.” Rey’s voice waivers for a moment and she feels the overwhelming need to cry. A warm hand on her shoulder startles her into looking back to find Aza giving her a soft smile. Rey returns the smile before turning her attention back to the group who is arguing. “ENOUGH!” Even though her voice is small the room falls silent once again at her demand. 

 

“That’s enough. You don’t have to like my decision but you have to accept it. Kylo and I sat down and had a discussion after the funeral and decided that this is what is best for all of us. This isn’t about one side overpowering another anymore, this is about us trying to create harmony. We can’t ask people to do something we’re unwilling to do ourselves, right?” She looks back at Kylo for a moment before returning to address the group in front of her. “I’m not asking you to be happy with me, or with him or with any of this. However, I am asking that you trust me and my decisions and have faith in me when I say that this union is for the best interests of everyone.”

 

The resistance officers are silent as they listen to Rey speak. “There have been several chances for him to hurt me over the past year. We had a chance encounter on Chardaan, he was present for the gala, and every day we’ve shared this meeting room or dining space trying to figure out ways to make this better, for everyone.” She holds her hand out, and Kylo accepts it, taking a step forward, pulling off his glove off before taking her hand, pressing a gentle kiss to her knuckles, to the delicate ring that rests on her finger. “He’s had multiple attempts to hurt me and yet he hasn’t. We both want the same thing, we both want peace and this is how we’re going to get it.”

 

To Rey’s surprise, everyone stares for a few moments before turning, silently, to take their seats at the table. Pressure causes her to shift and she can feel Ben smile against her hair as he presses a kiss there. 

 

**_Well done, Freykaa._ ** He whispers into her mind before pulling away to take his seat at the end of the table, opposite of Poe.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Negotiations aren’t as bad as Ren had imagined they would be. He had expected a lot of arguing, some things broken, and someone leaving, however, he was surprised to note that everything was going well. He knows why he needs to be present, but he feels that his presence isn’t exactly necessary and he heaves a soft sigh scanning the room before his eyes find Rey.

 

She’s attentive to the conversation, adding a few bits of her own thoughts into the discussion. Ever since the Force had shifted during their final kiss as Maz bound them she seems...More. Her smile is brighter, she is easier to laugh and overall happier whenever he notices her. After the outburst things settle into a quiet lull of voices discussing plans and ways to make things work. General Hux remains passive, quiet through the exchange, which Ren would find suspect if he was paying attention. 

 

Every time Rey speaks the entire room is drawn in and he wonders, briefly, if they see a love-struck young woman or if they see something else. While the attention is on Rey, he probes the minds of her friends, being cautious to not let his presence known. They’re not upset with her but they respect her more for what she has done, the sacrifice she has made.

 

That poor girl. One voice whispers, one of the Resistance officers he can’t quite place. Marrying that monster to join our factions instead of marrying for love. She’s so brave and so willing to give up whatever future she has for people she doesn’t know. Poor child. 

 

Ren’s heart squeezes painfully for a moment and he lets out a soft sigh as he pulls away from the woman’s mind. Had he really forced Rey’s hand by being so persistent? Was she really giving up everything to be with him? He runs a hand through his hair before standing to leave. The room falls silent as he goes, the entirety of the room following him with their eyes.

 

Rey watches Kylo leave and sighs softly. They had been in discussions for over three hours. “Maybe we should take a break and reconvene in an hour?” She suggests, receiving murmurs of approval before easily standing from her chair to follow Ren.

 

When she reaches the hall she can’t see him, but she can sense one distinct feeling that curls painfully in the pit of her stomach. Fear. She follows the feeling to another conference room, several doors down and across the hall from where they are holding the deliberations. It takes a moment, and a considerable amount of physical effort and Force use to get the door open. 

 

The room itself is in disarray, chairs are overturned, a large and very solid wood desk barring the door and the windows are shattered. Ren is pacing like a caged animal, his hair - considerably longer than when they had first met - flutters along the back of his shoulders as he paces. He knows she has entered, she can feel his eyes on her as he passes. “They pity you. Your friends and companions. Did you know that?” His voice is dark, gravely, a tone she hadn’t heard used on her since his demand for her to bring him Skywalker. 

 

“Pity me? Why? I don’t understand.” Rey whispers. She takes a step towards him and he recoils, fear rolling from him. 

 

“Don’t you see. I’ve forced so much from you. You’re here in this situation because of me.” His breath is shaking as he paces. 

 

“I don’t understand,” Rey repeats, taking another step. “Ben. Talk to me, please? Why the sudden change?”

 

“I never meant to force you into giving up whatever future you could have for me.” His voice is hard. “Your companions think that you would have chosen differently, that you’re giving up a happy future to be with me, to be with someone like me, because you’d rather have peace instead of happiness.” Rey’s breath catches in her throat as she steps forward again and he lets her touch him, her hand resting on his arm. She makes to speak but he stops her, his hand moving to cup her jaw.

 

“I never meant for you to give anything up. I-If you don’t want this then I can fix that.” His voice trembles and she can feel the fear rolling from him -even though it’s being presented as anger- and she knows, she knows that he hasn’t come to terms with being human, with expressing his emotions properly but she listens, her heart lurching at his words. Before she can protest he’s speaking again. “I-If you don’t want me that’s fine. I never meant to take anything away from you I just… I just want you to have the best of everything. I’ve seen how alone you were and I just wanted to fix that. I just wanted to make you know that I understand that pain, that loneliness but if you don’t want this then I can fix it. Even if that means I have to leave…” His voice finally, finally breaks and it clicks in Rey’s head.

 

“Ben,” she whispers, bringing her hand up to mirror his, her hand curling along his jaw under his ear, thumb brushing his trembling lower lip. Their eyes meet and she can see the pain and fear twisting in his mind through the force and she sighs gently. “I chose you, Ben. We chose each other. I could have said no and brokered peace some other way, but I didn’t. You’ve been straightforward with me, but only once have you forced my hand and that was on the Supremacy.” She whispers. “I don’t want you to leave. I’m not going to make you leave. I want you. I want you here. I want your happiness. Our happiness together is what is going to bring peace. You’ll see. We balance the force and that will balance everything else and bring peace. I felt it, Ben.”

 

“I-I’ll ruin you.” His voice mirrors his pleas from the Supremacy and her heart breaks at the emotions waving off of him, her other hand moving to card up into his hair. It’s a stretch but she manages to sink her fingers into the hair by his ear, her eyes sad. “I-I ruin everything. I ruined their marriage, I killed him, I’ve ruined every good thing in my life and I’ll ruin you too.” There are tears in his eyes, dark eyes that refuse to meet hers. 

 

As he tries to pull away she remains steadfast, gripping his jaw between her finger and her thumb. “Don’t worry about me. I’ve made it this far, Right? I’ll be fine alone…” He’s afraid to be alone, she feels it now and when she leans up, using his hair to pull his lips to meet hers her heart breaks for him. 

 

Every kiss they share is an event in and of itself and this one is no different. 

 

The emotions he feels rushing between them like a current overwhelms him and he sinks to his knees. The angle is different and she has to tip his chin up so she can bend and press a kiss to his mouth again, opening her mind to him and allowing him to see all of the acceptance and all of the fight still in her heart. She wants this, she wants him. She’s accepted that she cannot change him, only he can change himself, but she wants to be right where she is, wants to be who she is. 

A once lonesome girl finding solace in the arms of a broken man who knows the depths of her despair as it mirrors his own in that quietly suffering place locked away behind broken hearts and never, ever, being enough to make anyone stay. 

 

As she pulls away he finally breaks down pulling her into his arms, making her buckle to sit on her knees astride his legs and all he can do is sob into her neck as she cards her hands through his hair.

 

“Don’t be afraid” She whispers and all he can do is nod, tear-stained skin brushing against her collarbone. “I feel it too.” He pulls himself from her neck to kiss her gently, sniffling as she brushes away the tears.

 

* * *

  
  


They return to the meeting at the designated time, he gives her a gentle, lingering kiss at the door before they enter and she can’t help but smile every time their eyes make contact across the table.

 

Hux’s mind is churning as he watches the Supreme Leader make eyes at the Rebel scum for the rest of the time they’re set up to meet. It takes five more hours before everything comes to a head and the adjudicators leave with the intent to draw up a charter claiming peace to be returned and signed the next day.

 

Hux is the first to leave while Kylo lingers so he can walk Rey back to her rooms. Her hand slides into his, her cheeks and nose tinted red as the simple act makes her blush and he dips his head to hide his own. 

 

The walk back to his rooms is an easy one since the First Order is staying in the part of the old Senate building that had been renovated, not far from the Rebel encampment. He misses the relaxation that comes from being in Rey’s presence but he knows that his mission, and hers, is an important one that may benefit the entire galaxy as a whole and he wants it to work for selfish -he will get to have her by his side- and unselfish reasons. The ring on his finger is hidden under his gloves, the weight foreign to him still, is unnoticeable to anyone who isn’t paying attention, but it makes him think about his lovely wife and makes him wonder, for a few moments, what she is doing.

 

He hears a noise that pulls him from his thoughts and turns to face Phieus who stands at his elbow. “Supreme Leader. We have a problem if you’ll follow me.” Kylo nods and follows falling easily in pace with his knight.

 

The room they enter is dark and before Kylo can get a real feel from the room there is a sting at his neck and he is frozen in place, unable to move. “What is this?” He demands eyes seeking out bodies he can not find. 

 

Phieus chuckles dark and low into Kylo’s ear. “Nu sûshitsinizi j'us ir zo kota iw rokatsa. Zo tutsimia an dondnuma j'us is qyâsik, mnirji j'us an tu'iyia Jidai midwan.”  _ I imprison you in a wall of light. A fortress to block you from the Force, blind you to your Jedi powers. _

 

Kylo struggles against whatever is holding him before everything blooms into pain, his breath halts in his chest and consciousness leaves him completely.

 

* * *

  
  


She’s dining with Chewbacca on the Falcon when she feels it. The pain overcomes her entire being and the world warps, her vision warps, and she’s on the floor of the middle of the Falcon, her hands on her head as she screams. Chewbacca and bends to scoop Rey up from the floor but as soon as he touches her he’s thrown back by the force and he can feel the splintering of the force thrust upon him. He turns and lopes from the Falcon to find someone who may be able to help.

 

The entire forces feels like it’s fracturing inside her head and all Rey could do is scream. This feeling was worse than losing Luke and even worse than Ben’s reaction to losing his mother. This is sheer blinding pain and terror and she feels herself fracture and scatter. She screams and screams until the world falls blank and goes silent and her consciousness breaks away. 

 

She’s not sure how long it is before she wakes up, how long she has been asleep but the entire world is dark around her. She stands, trying to get some semblance of the world around her but it is eternally dark. She feels panic and turns before trying to run, but without light, she can’t tell whether she’s actually moving or not. “Please.” She cries out, unsure why but the word bubbles from her mouth and tears stream down her cheeks. Falling to her knees Rey tries to look around again before closing her eyes and trying to reach, trying to find someone, something in the dark.

 

_ Ben? Ben where are you? Where am I? _ They had been able to openly communicate through their bond for some time, but no response comes.

 

“ _ Ben? Hello?! _ ” She yells out verbally and through the force. A sense of calm falls over her suddenly and she shifts to sit on her backside, knees aching from kneeling.

 

**_You’re safe._ **

 

Rey starts in surprise and opens her eyes to look around but finds nothing in the darkness.

 

**You’re safe.**

 

_ Ben? _

 

**No, child. He is gone. His connection has been severed.** Rey’s heart plummets and she stands to look around in terror.

 

_ Who are you? What have you done? _

 

**It was not I, He was betrayed.**

 

_ I would never betray him!  _

 

**You assume I mean you, dear child. No, one of his own has betrayed him.  He is gone.**

 

_ But I can get him back, right? _

 

**He is gone, child.**

 

_ Who are you? _

 

**I am you. I am He. I’m the bond that binds all things.**

 

_ The Force? _

 

**If you wish to call me that.**

 

_ What do I do? How do I save him? Tears well up in Rey’s eyes again and she can’t prevent them from falling. _

 

**Rewrite the stars.**

 

_ How? How the kriff do I do that? _

 

**Wake up, Rey.**

 

_ Wake up? _

 

“ **_Wake up!_ ** ” 

 

Rey startles awake, sitting up so suddenly that she smacks her forehead against a hard object she realizes a moment later is the hard head of Poe Dameron and suddenly she’s in his arms, clinging to him and sobbing.

 

Finn and Rose look on in surprise, sharing a look before Finn moves forward to pull Rey away from Poe. When the pilot is free Finn wraps his arm around Rey. “What’s going on Rey? You just checked out on us there and wouldn’t let any of us near you.”

 

“The Force…” Rey’s voice was rough from her loud sobs. “I saw the force... And the force saw me and Ben….” She let out another heart-wrenching sob as she feels her heartbreak, a painful shatter in her chest and all she can do is sob. Rose steps in then kneeling next to Finn to rub Rey’s back and Rey lets the comfort of friends lull her into a fitful sleep, her body and spirit exhausted and scattered among the stars.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have some fluff before the angst starts. I have chapter 17 finished for next week, however, the ending is quite heavy and just... It's bound to get some interesting reactions. You've been warned.


	17. Discord

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter gets us another step into the mature/explicit content, particularly under the last cut.

Rey doesn’t believe in Gods. Hell she didn’t believe in the Force until the force vision on Takodana. She had thought it, like Luke Skywalker, was just a myth told by smugglers and traders for a good tale and attention. When her connection had blossomed she had felt it, felt the connection between herself and Kylo Ren, but it was more than that, she had dreams, his voice whispering to her for as long as she could remember. 

 

She doesn’t believe in gods, but she believes in fate. Fate had brought BB8 and Finn to her. It had brought her into the forest and into Kylo Ren’s arms. It had brought her to the resistance and Luke Skywalker and back to Ben Solo a year later. Rey doesn’t believe in gods, but she believes in fate.

 

Everyone she ever gets close to leaves, and that is her fate.

 

The Temple of Pomojema is vast and beautiful. It’s home to the Mimbanite god Pomojema, the god of healing. Once, a magical crystal - the Kaiburr crystal - rested here, the main source of his healing. Rey trembles as she looks upon the face of Pomojema, her heart heavy as she finds herself in a place that is unfamiliar yet known. “Why have you brought me here?” she asks aloud. The weathered wings unfold, shuttering before Pomojema rests on his stone throne with a heavy sigh, ruffling the tentacles of the lower half of his face.

 

“You have a part of me, that crystal there. You are connected to it, and thus connected to me.” His voice is a deep rumble, one which she feels is suitable for a god. “It is you who called me, Curoscanti, not the other way around. Your crystal, it bleeds as your force signature does. What is it that you have lost?” Pomojema’s leathery claws curl along the decrepit throne.

 

Rey lets out a sob as she falls to her knees before the massive god, the only god she has ever met, and yet this is a dream, is it not? She can indulge, be free with herself here in this moment. “My… My bondmate… My husband. He has been removed from the force, but it’s different. I don’t know what to do.” her voice is a harsh whisper, her throat sore from the sobs she had been elicited from it over several of the past hours.

 

“I can only heal, and broken bonds are not which I can heal, girl. What says the Force?”

 

“It’s empty, he’s not there. ‘He is gone’, it keeps repeating but I know that not to be true.” 

 

“If you know it not to be true, then why are you here? Why don’t you go out and find him? If he is removed but not dead, reconnection isn’t the hardest of feats with that crystal in your hand.” Pomojema points to Rey’s saber and she sniffles and shakes her head.

 

“You overestimate my abilities,” she whispers.

 

Pomojema stands quickly, voice booming loud enough to send the walls trembling at his might. “It is you who underestimate yours, girl.”

 

With that, the scene is gone. Fading into darkness once again.

 

_ Please, _ Rey pleads into nothingness,  _ I don’t want to be alone. _

 

**_You’re not alone, they are there where you need them the most._ **

  
  
  


Poe paces the room at length before turning to start another repetition, Finn sits on the bed next to where they have laid Rey, and Rose twists her fingers as the medic examines their friend.

 

“There’s nothing wrong with her physically.” The medic replies, a tall willowy woman with bright blue eyes set into a green face. “It seems to be all mental, whatever it is that is keeping her in this state. I’m afraid I’m not very knowledgeable about force ailments.” She collects her things and leaves.

 

When the door clicks shut Poe swears loudly swinging his foot out to kick a chair nearby. Rose jumps with a sniffle, she’s as quick to cry as Poe is to anger, and takes a step back. “W-what are we going to do now?”

 

“There’s hope. There’s always hope, in some form. My first hope was in the form of a bloody pilot and a tie fighter. Then a scavenger girl and a Corellian YT-1300f light freighter. There is still hope, we just have to find it and ignite that spark again.” Finn stands moving to wrap his arms around Rose, holding her close to his chest, letting her sniffle against him.

 

“We can’t stand around and be stagnate here. The First Order knows we’re here. We need to relocate as soon as possible.” Poe states, finally drawn from his thoughts by Finn’s attempt to reinstall hope into their small group.

 

Finn nods slowly, shifting over to pull Rose into his arms, rubbing her back gently. She sniffles gently and presses her face to his chest and the trio sit in silence, listening to the beeps of the heart monitor on the wall next to Rey’s bed.

 

A knock at the door startles them from their thoughts and Poe, the only one standing, moves to pull it open, frowning when he sees two of the Knights of Ren standing at the door.

“What the hell do you want? Your leader has already run amuck, twice, today, come to finish the job for him?” Poe asks, crossing his arms over his chest, standing as the defense for the rest of the room.

 

“We felt the shift in the force and came to check on Rey, to see if she knows what’s happening and why Kylo just suddenly vanished from the force.” Aza shakes out her hair looking around Poe into the medical bay room.

 

“Well, if you can get her to wake up I’m absolutely positive you're not the only one hankering for answers.” Poe is angry, still blaming Kylo for whatever is happening to Rey.

 

“She’s not waking up?” Mira frowns at Aza before shoving Poe aside to move to Rey.

 

Poe protests, loudly, but Finn merely moves Rose to the side, eyeing the Knights.

 

“I know you’re Knights of Ren. But…” Rose sniffles gently. “Why are you here? Shouldn’t you be with Kylo and the other Knights?” She asks softly.

 

“We felt the ripple in the Forc, like something had shattered, and then I could no longer feel Kylo. But this wasn’t a death, no. This was like having a tooth pulled, a violent wrenching pain from my gut, and then nothing.” Mira replies turning eti’s eyes to Rose who nods slowly. She doesn’t know alot about how the force works, but she does know that that seems to tie into what Rey had been trying to stay earlier.

 

“Why won’t she wake up then?” Finn asks, eyeing the twi’lek cautiously.

 

“He was her bondmate. They were joined in a way that is different than how we knights are bound to him. Their forces are intertwined, where as Aza and mine simply brush along side, or coexist with his. We’re not as deeply integrated.” Mira shakes out eti’s head tails and moves to sit on the side of the bed, brushing warm fingers along Rey’s cool cheek.

 

“Is she going to be okay?” Rose asks, but Mira’s eyes are on Aza who has stepped away to answer her communication device. With a striken look on her face Aza turns to the group, wild panic alight in her eyes.

 

“They… Hux… He’s just declared Order 65.” Mira is up off of Rey’s bed and pulling Aza into strong arms before turning to face Poe. 

 

“You need to leave. Gather your regime and leave now.” The twi'lek’s eyes are dark and Poe frowns turning to Finn. 

 

“What’s Order 65?” He asks, looking between his companion and the two Knights of Ren.

 

“When the supreme commanding officer is deemed unfit for command, as determined by the security council you met today, he is to be detained by any means necessary. Lethal force included.” Finn looks to Mira and Aza. “It means they didn’t like something that Kylo Ren did, and incapacitated him to the point of being unable to give orders and someone new has taken over.”

 

“Hugs.” Poe murmurs looking around the room before running a hand through his hair. “Why are you sharing this information freely with us?” He asks Mira.

 

“Rey is one of us. She took a vow to protect our people just as she will protect yours, and we took a vow that we would server her, along with our leader for as long as they are together and maybe even after, depending on the situation. Just because Kylo has been taken from the Force doesn’t mean that we’re going to shuck our duties because it’s convenient. We wouldn’t be Knights of Ren if we only did our jobs when convenient.” Aza sniffles a bit looking from Mira to Finn and back. 

 

“We need to leave.” Mira states, nodding. “I imagine you’ll be able to keep her safer than we will be able to, for the time being. I have a feeling I know why they’ve done this.” Looking around eti finds a  pen and paper. Jotting down a number eti offers it to Poe. “This is my frequency and access code. Let us know when she wakes up.”

 

“Maybe,” Aza starts, “Maybe we can get some information about what’s going on, but if Hux is in charge I can’t imagine you’ll want to stay here much longer. After all he’s volatile and I don’t think he has a plan.” She shakes out her hair before taking Mira’s hand. “We’ll be in touch.”

  
  
  
  
  


He can’t breathe. That is the first thing he notices when he wakes. The band across his chest is tight and there is no give when he moves, trying to shift the band or break the restraints at his wrists. He’s on the Finalizer, he knows, recalling this room from the room as that which he had interrogated Poe Dameron and made the connection with Rey. He tries to summon the force, tries to break the restraints at his wrists but there is no pull, no ebb and flow of power. There is nothing except the chafing of rough metal against the delicate skin of his arms.

 

There is nothing.

 

That’s new. Something he had wished for as a child, to be better for his parents, but now he feels empty and alone. He can no longer feel Rey, her light and warmth a constant at the end of a string over the past year. Now there is nothing.

 

He struggles again but a noise from the corner of the room makes him startle and lift his head. “Well. Look at this. Poor pitiful Ben Solo all alone, no friends, no family, just him and his worthlessness.” Armitage Hux stalks the room, a cold smile across his face. “You were pathetic before, sniveling to Supreme Leader Snoke in that stupid mask, and now you’re powerless to stop what comes next.” 

 

Kylo, who’s focus had been on trying to call the force for his use, doesn’t notice the red-head’s posture change nor his movement that brought the electrobaton around until it is too late. The static blade slices through flesh in a slow and agonizing manor, eliciting a loud groan blocked by bared teeth as Kyki grinds them against the pain.

 

Another swipe brings blood to the surface and a dark grin to Hux’s face. “I’m Supreme Leader now. Your disgusting pet and her followers shall be obliterated as soon as the rest of our troops have pulled back from Naboo. Without your power,s you are nothing, Solo. Do you hear me? You. Are. Nothing.” .

 

Hux stalks forward and strikes hard with the back of his hand causing Kylo’s teeth to clatter together with force, his head snapping to the side. The signet ring on Hux’s middle finger cuts a long gash into Kylo’s cheek and the force of the strike breaks skin against teeth in his mouth.

 

“You’re nothing but a pile of useless vermin with nothing going for you.” Hux’s grin grows as Kylo struggles to sit up better, to get loose, to do something his anger flaring in a move that would send the walls crumbling if he had access to the Force. He says nothing for several moments before Hux’s hands, Kylo’s neck is so large Hux requires both, wrap around his throat and press, the resemblance of the force choke that had been used on him multiple times.

 

“Long live the Supreme Leader.” Hux chortles, expecting a response as his hold tightens.

 

Kylo takes a shuttered breath, but instead of speaking he collects all of the blood and saliva in his mouth and spits it with the best of his ability directly into Hux’ face. The reaction he gets is a startled yell and another harsh back hand, but before Kylo can spit again Hux is stalking away. “This isn’t over, Ren.”

 

Phieus stalks in as Hux is leaving and the look they share is anything but disdainful, a silent agreement happening between them before Phieus looks to his former Master. “Kylo Ren, once feared is now a nobody.” He snickers to himself and moves to stand in front of Kylo, “You can’t begin to understand how long I’ve imagined and wished for this day to come.” He reaches a hand, touching the gash on Kylo’s cheek, running his finger through the blood and returning it to his mouth to taste the copper and iron on his tongue.

 

“Why are you doing this?” Kylo asks, eyes wide as he tries to get a read on his knight. This was one of his closest friends, how had someone who had once been so close to him turn like this?

 

“It’s simple really. You chose wrong. You chose the wrong second in command, you chose the wrong option with the treaty, and you chose the wrong partner.” Phieus runs his hand lazily down Kylo’s neck, to his shoulder and then the collar of his shirt. He slides his hand lower, finding the rip in the fabric at the wound created by the electrobaton and presses on the separated skin there. Kylo hisses in pain, trying to pull his body away but Phieus only presses harder, moving closer with a dark grin spread across his face.

 

“I’ve always imagined having you this way, tied up and helpless to stop me. Who knew I would actually get my wish in the form of a rabid curr like Hux.” Phieu pulls the fabric apart, ripping the shirt free from Kylo’s torso and smearing blood across the pale marred flesh. Kylo struggles against his bonds, spitting at Phieus as he did Hux but this only entices Phieus more, causes him to move closer, pressing his entire body along the length of Kylo’s, his cock rigid against Kylo’s leg. 

 

“You’re getting off on this, aren’t you.” Kylo growls darkly, trying to shift away from the intrusion of his space, trying to move away from the unwelcome body against his. “Get your hands off me you filthy excuse for a person.”

 

Phieus’ grin grows and he moves to tug at the closure of Kylo’s pants, a simple zip front that slides and easily falls open at Phieus’ command of the force. Bumps raise on Kylo’s skin at the sudden touch of cold air on his warm body. The hand pressing against his bare crotch ignites an unpleasant fire in his veins that causes Kylo to struggle again, willing the force to let him get something free, a hand, a foot, or even a good shot at a head butt. Phieus chuckles as he moves his hand, stroking and exploring Kylo’s body with an unhurried ease, his tongue daring out and wetting dry lips.

 

“Poor Benny.” Phieus coos, his voice dark and his breath warm against the hollow at the base of Kylo’s throat. Kylo struggles again but Phieus’ hand keeps it trail, pressing again into the wound on Kylo’s torso smearing blood along his hip before the slick palm engulfs his cock and Kylo feels like he’s going to be sick. “Poor, Poor Benny, unloved  by mommy, unloved by daddy, mind so warped by a mad man in a cloak and playing house with a dirty rat from Jakku of all places.” Phieus runs his nose along the underside of Kylo’s jaw humming as he takes a deep breath. 

 

Kylo’s anger flares, but he’s unable to do more than struggle against the metal bonds around his limbs, trying to fight down the churning in his stomach. His chest is heaving and he realizes in that moment that he had never in his life felt as helpless as he does right now. Tears sting in his eyes but he refuses to give Phieus the satisfaction, fixing the other male with a glare.”Get your hands off of me. You will pay for this.”

 

“Poor, poor Benny with delusions of grandeur hiding behind a mask playing monster. Too bad you didn’t know the real monsters were plotting behind your back, did you?” Kylo gasps as his orgasm is pulled from him and he slams his head back against the headrest of the restraint system, grinding his teeth as his body betrays him in the worst way. 

 

Phieus chuckles low and harsh and wipes his hand across Kylo’s chest, blood and cum smearing across the freckled skin in a startling contrast that has Kylo gagging. “Good boy.” He coos, before turning and stalking out of the room, not bothering to close the door on his way out. Once the footsteps recede Kylo slams his head back against the headrest again and again, his body trembling with the force of the rage coursing through him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided to take a step back from this fic for a while because it is starting to feel more like a job than just for fun. I'm not sure how or when, but it will be updated. Instead of having a set schedule I'm going to take my time over the summer to complete the story and then work on posting it as I write it so you may have to wait a month for a post, or I may post 2 chapters the same day, depends on my mood and the mood of my muses.


	18. Settlement

A week passes and Kylo’s resolve never waivers. 

 

However, it does change.

 

He closes his mind off separating it from his body as best he can. He goes through the motions commanded of him but his mind isn't there anymore, instead focused on Rey. He doesn’t know if he's strong enough but he knows he has to get back to her.

 

**_I love the way you laugh._ **

 

He remembers their dance lesson on Naboo, her soft giggles in his mind during some of their chats, her laugh when he got tangled in his own pants trying to strip for her during their first and only attempt at being intimate. Had it already been two weeks since he had last seen her?

 

**_I wanna hold you high._ **

 

He doesn't know when it happened, can't recall when exactly he fell in love with her, he may have loved her from that first meeting on Takodana or when she marked him on Starkiller base. He doesn't know when but he knows that he does, every fibre of his being belongs to her and he will do everything in his power to see her one more time before he dies. He knows three weeks is a long time to wait but he doesn’t want to let her down. He’s always let everyone down. His mother, uncle Luke, and most importantly his father.

 

**_I wanna steal your pain._ **

 

All he has caused her is pain, that's all he feels now, his body slashed open, raw and bleeding, raped and bruised and infected but he knows he has to see her once more before their pain can be over. He has accepted his fate, and when the bonds are released his body bends, kissing the bloodied boot at his knees before following the man that holds the chain tight around his neck. He’ll end his pain and hers, even if he has to die to do it.

 

The end of the month is worse and Kylo’s resolve cracks when Phieus forces his way into his mind. He’s back in his bonds, Phieus’s hands on his body again, probing and pulling and eliciting forceful orgasms while sifting through his mind. 

 

Kylo has only ever experienced this as a padawan under Snoke’s tutelage, but the pain is excruciating and he quickly shoves the most important things into a box, locks them up and builds a wall that Phieus sifts past without any sort of glance into. 

 

The pain lasts for hours or days, he doesn't know, but Kylo’s mind is molded and broken and he doesn't know who he is or why he's here. The only thing he knows is he’s to obey Phieus Ren’s every order.

 

* * *

 

They have been planning for weeks on how to track down the First Order, to find which of the Star Destroyers Ben is being kept on and haven't gotten anywhere.

 

“Is he really worth all of this stress?” Poe Dameron’s voice cuts through the silence and Rey is on him in an instant. 

 

“You dare question me? How would you feel if this were Finn or Connix?” She asks, crowding his space. He takes a step back, hands held up in surrender.  

 

“That’s different,” Poe states. “They’re our friends, they haven’t betrayed us.” Mira is standing now because eti can sense the shift in the force.

 

“Please tell me, Poe. How my husband’s life is any less important than anyone else’s? He was trying to fight for us, for you and this miserable existence we’ve been trying to sustain for over a year. He was trying to HELP, against his own nature and over the heads of his commanding officers and his fleet. He was trying to help, Poe Dameron, and I cannot stand by and listen to you talk about him like this.” Rey doesn’t register that her hand has clenched at her side, nor does she note the panic stricken look on Finn and Poe’s faces as Poe claws at invisible fingers at his throat.

 

**_Rey…_ **

 

The voice is soft in her mind, a barely there coo, but she feels it, traces of his force signature wavering and hope blooms in her chest before she is pulled back to the present by a gentle hand on her shoulder.

 

“Rey, stop.” It’s Mira’s hand on her, warm fingers slipping through the ones tightly curled at her side. A shaky breath is exhaled and she doesn’t know if it was from herself or Mira, but she feels the tension ease from her body. “Ben wouldn’t want this, Rey. Once you do something like that there’s no coming back from that guilt.” Eti whispers in her ear and Rey relaxes, all of the fight leaving her with such a force that she crumples against Mira with a soft sob.

 

“I..I felt him.” Rey whispers, turning her tear filled eyes to Mira with a gasp. “I felt him… he’s still here.”

 

Mira nods offering eti’s hand to Aza. “Come, let's go for a walk. Killing each other isn't going to help our friends or end this war.”

 

Rey stalks from the room and Aza and Mira follow. She feels angry. Constantly angry at everything. The overwhelming urge to yell out, to scream and thrash and strangle the life from someone lingers deep in the pit of her stomach and it scares Rey almost as much as it entices her. Sure she had killed before, that one time on Jakku as a teenager and again as she fought the Praetorian guards along side Ben and had come out the other side with some bruising and some scars but she knew that killing someone important to her wouldn’t do. She had seen what it had done to Ben and she never wanted to have to feel the pain that he had felt again.

 

**_Sometimes, things can be forgiven if done for the right reasons._ **

 

The voice, is sudden and unexpected causing Rey to turn with a loud gasp, her saber held high as she sought out the potential threat to her person. Instead she found a translucent being standing in her path. 

 

“Master Skywalker.” She fell to her knees before him, her breath harsh as she tried to keep from sobbing at the feet of the Jedi Master she had wanted to learn from but ruined her chances by going after Ben. “They took Ben. I… I can barely feel him but I know he’s still alive, but separated from the force. Master Skywalker, please. What do I do?”

 

Luke looks her over from head to foot, choosing his next words carefully. “To quote my sister ‘ Hope is like the sun. If you only believe in it when you can see it, you’ll never make it through the night.’ I lost hope in Ben the moment I looked into his mind back at the temple, but you have constantly held out hope for him throughout all of this. You will prevail. I don’t know to what capacity but you will succeed.” 

 

Rey sniffles and nods, standing when she hears footsteps. Finn and Poe stand where she had expected Mira and Aza to be but she can’t resist throwing herself at Finn, pressing her face in her neck as she lets out a soft sob. “I’m sorry.” She whispers into his neck once his arms are around her waist and he’s hugging her back. “I’m sorry. I lost myself for a moment there. I’m just… I..”

 

“You love him, we get it.” Poe states patting her shoulder gently. Rey turns on him, wrapping her arm around his waist and hugging herself close, sighing softly when he accepts her hug.

 

“I’m sorry. I..I think the force is trying to balance itself out in me since Ben isn’t connected a-and it’s making me more volatile. I didn’t even realize I was doing it. I swear I would never do something like that on purpose, especially to you or Finn, Poe.”

 

“I know kid, I know.” He chuckles and pats Rey’s head gently as she sniffles and nods before pulling away. 

 

Aza rushes towards them suddenly, her dark face alight with excitement. “Rey! Rey we found them!” With her she brings a holopad and Poe looks at it with a frown.

 

“No. They couldn’t possibly be that stupid.” Poe laughs looking over his shoulder to see Tallie talking with Mira. 

“Tallie. They’re on Endor. Kriffing Endor.” He let out a loud laugh and Rey frowns between her two sets of friends and Mira shakes eti’s head.

 

“Endor was the last battle during the last Galactic Civil War.” Finn tells Rey, soothing her confusion. “It is what brought back the Republic and saw the defeat of Vader. It was literally the supposed end of the Empire. Why would they go there?” He turns his eyes towards Mira and Tallie who are going over schematics of the planet.

 

“Now that we know where they are we need to come up with a plan.” Poe calls over his shoulder his comm device already pressed to his ear calling an urgent meeting.

 

* * *

 

They encounter Armitage Hux and his troops first when they lay siege to the base. Rey doesn’t even flinch as she turns her blade on him, he doesn’t have much room to struggle as she catches him off guard and plunges her blade through him. Mira and Aza take care of the rest of his attache easily with their own weapons.

 

Cameras are set up around the base itself, but nothing shows the location of Ben or his captors. An idea creeps into Rey’s head and she turns to Mira. “Can’t you locate the other knights through the bond?” She asks and Mira nods. 

 

“I think I have a general idea of where Phieus is. He’s most likely the one with eyes on Kylo, so it’s a start.” Rey lets Mira lead the way, Aza settled to her right, keeping an eye out as they stalk from the base and head out into the slowly falling snow.

 

The battle field is chaos, they are on some planet she doesn't remember the name of, doesn't even know if she learned it, but it's chilly. Her clothes do nothing to protect her skin but she cannot feel it, her mind absolved on finding her target. Snow crunches under her boots as she stalks across the battlefield flanked by over thirty thousand Resistance troops.

 

She reaches out and feels the spark, the flutter of the force from the other side and Mira nods at her side. That's who they’re looking for.

 

Their troops advance quickly through the forest, scattering along the trees as only Rey, Mira, and Aza stick together. They are close, she can feel it now and she knows then that she will have her revenge. He’s going to pay for taking her Ben, her bondmate away. He's going to pay for all the darkness she feels in her head and in her heart and he's going to pay for the emptiness she feels as she looks at the blood that covers her hands and doesn't care that she’s killed people already.

 

The clearing comes to view and Stormtroopers and Resistance troops clash, blaster fire lighting the night sky and the sounds of flesh hitting flesh and yells of fury and agony and the shouted cadence of “For the Supreme Leader” and “For Hosnian Prime” and “For the Rebellion”  throughout the area echos off the mountains that raise around them, blocking them from the moon but stirring currents of wind and snow into dark and bloodied faces.

 

They follow the pull of the force, three figures in off white, seeking out figures in black to finally finish this war.  Two figures emerge from the snow and Mira and Aza attack, Rey paying them little attention as she follows the pull to where she knows Phieus Ren to be. She knows it's him because she knows he has stolen Ben from her and Ben’s force signature is faint, marred with the poison of Phieus.

 

A figure, talk and hooded steps from behind an outcropping of rock and all of the anger and hatred seeps from her bones. She stands ten feet from her husband and lover. His hood does not fall as hers does with the wind, but the moonlight and blaster fire reveals a bloody and bruised face, dark marks across his throat and a split bottom lip, but still she cannot feel him.

 

“Ben.” She whispers, reaching for him. She gets a few paces away, her hand poised to touch his chin when pain engulfs her core, the smell of burning flesh and fabric from the black saber piercing her straight through. As it’s pulled away she collapses to her knees with a loud sob.

 

“Ben. Ben please.” His eyes spark of recognition, but he’s unable to break whatever hold has him standing dark and stoic before her.  She presses her hands to the wound and closes her eyes, tears scorching her frozen face. She pulls from the pain, pulls all her energy from her core, her heart, her very soul and offers it to him, the bright swirling orb of red and blue, black and white, light and darkness. She offers it to him, acquiescent at his feet begging and pleading with him in only words he can hear.

 

They were polar opposites when they first met and they are polar opposites now.

 

He is all darkness, encompassed in a black cape that extends as far out behind him as he is tall. Black boots melting the snow around him where he stands, black suit with metal embellishments adorn his chest, a silver chain at his throat and under his dark hood a blood gold crown rests atop his head. He is the embodiment of darkness, hatred, murder, destruction.

 

“ _ Please Ben, you're our only hope.” _ His eyes soften then as he reaches out, recognition flaring and startled breath escape his parted lips.

 

She is pure light, on her knees in the snow. She wears the outfit they wed in, tunic tight to accent curves, and pants easy to move in, covered in blood that belongs to her as well as others. Her cloak fans around her, protecting her shoulders and back from the snow, but the hood has slipped back off her face as she offers the most important part of herself to him and it no longer protects her head from the elements. She is pale from cold and blood loss but still shining in his mind. She is the embodiment of light, love, life, peace.

 

She is his life.

 

She is his salvation.

 

The light is hot and cold, peacefully chaotic, the swirling if a storm inside the bloodied hands of his beautiful supplicant wife. He reaches out, taking both of her wrists in his hands and pulls her to her feet. He kisses her then, the light pressed between both of their chests as energy cackles and flares around them and everything fades to silence.

 

Being reunited with the force is like being thrown into a frozen lake and resurfacing suddenly. He feels the cold and the exhaustion and startling and ripe is her pain that engulfs his core where her wound is, body going lax against him. “Rey? Rey come on. Look at me sweetheart.” He whispers cupping her jaw as he drops to his knees cradling her to him. “Come on Freykka, look at me.” He whispers as he slips his fingers through her snow soaked hair.

 

She’s dreaming. She has to be dreaming, everything feels numb, just a tingling in her core. She can’t breathe. She remembers the excruciating pain blooming through her chest and stomach but right now all she can feel is the warm hands on her body and the patter of water falling against her face. She feels a hand in her hair and breath passing through her lips that causes her to gasp out and cough before she forces her eyes open. “Ben?”

 

“Hey.”

 

“Ben? What happened?”

 

“I don’t know. I… I saw you… I saw you and something snapped inside of me. I found something inside myself and I remembered and it all came back to me. I saw you fall and everything else around me fell away. I don’t… I don’t know what’s happening but I’m here, sweetheart. I’m here and I’m never letting you go again. I promise. Never again.” He pulls her to cradle her in his lap, causing her to gasp as she is reminded of the pain.

 

“Ben, it hurts.” she whispers before he kisses her trembling lips.

 

“I know sweetheart, I know, but I’m here and you’re safe. You’re going to be safe.”

 

“What’s happening?” She blinks as she shifts to look around them. The entire world is frozen. Blaster fire has halted in the air, people paused mid run. Snow sparkles all around them like the luminescent bugs from Naboo.

 

“I don’t know. Everything froze when I reconnected with the force. I don’t know how long it will last. Just let me hold you.” His voice sounds broken and Rey wonders why he’s trembling.

 

He presses a kiss to her forehead before dropping another on her mouth. When she moves to kiss him properly she gasps, pain searing her nerve endings from core to fingers causing the world to warp around her and time resumes as black tints everything around them.

 

Her head lolls to the side and she can hear Ben yelling as he’s being pulled away from her. Her head hits the ground, causing everything to muddle together as she cries out for him. The earth shudders under her and his hands are back in her hair a moment later and he’s talking but nothing she can understand. She tries to reply, but words have left her.

 

Reaching up she touches the scar, the mark that she had left to mar his face.

 

_ My beautiful Ben. _

 

**_I love you._ **

 

_ I know. _

 

The world fades away around her and she only registers pain before everything slips away.

 

* * *

 

Anger, white hot and painful courses through his body as he’s suddenly ripped from Rey. Phieus Ren pinning him by the shoulders. “Come along Kylo. We have a mission to uphold.” Phieus coos and he stands, moving to pull Kylo up with him. Kylo remembers, then Phieus’ hands on him, dark words whispered in his ear and he knows that Snoke had been stroking Phieus into maturity while he had assured Kylo that he was the only apprentice.

 

Instead of trying to suppress the anger and rage that he had been feeling, like he had been trying to do for Rey, he lets it manifest into a crackle of dark purple lightning that causes Phieus to tumble off of him. Kylo looks at his hand for a minute before he is turning to seek out Rey.

 

Mira and Aza are with her, Mira is mostly topless, eti’s shirt torn away from one shoulder to reveal the black band underneath. Kylo turns, eyes flashing as he seeks out Phieus. With Mira and Aza, Kylo knows Rey is safe.

 

He finds Phieus and ignites his blade, holding his surprise in check when he realized it was at his side. He yells out into the darkness “TRAITOR!”  as he advances.

 

Black and red blades clash through the snowy landscape but now that Kylo is aware of Phieus’ tricks, backed by the force and the knowledge that he might actually lose Rey if they don’t get her into a bacta tank soon spurns him on, sending energy crackling into the air around him again.

 

Phieus stumbles at the sheer weight of the Force around them and falls, Kylo pouncing on him in a second, blades discarded several feet away. He has always had an advantage with strength and easily pins Phieus by the shoulders with his knees. Wrapping his hands eagerly around Phieus’ throat and pressing hard, Kylo lifts and slams Phieus’ head back multiple times against the frozen ground until blood trickled from Phieus’ mouth and nose and the chest below Kylo’s knees shudders.

 

A hand on his shoulder brings him back to the real world. “Ben… Ben, come on, Rey needs you.” Aza gasps, tugging on Ben’s arm to get him to follow.

 

He stands and follows easily, retrieving both sabers from the ground before rushing to where Mira has Rey gathered in eti’s arms standing as best as possible trying to maintain pressure on the wound that is staining Rey’s side dark crimson. “I’ll bring her to the transport. I know they have a good supply of Bacta there. You two, retrieve her friends, take command of the Finalizer and do what you must to stop this war.” They shift Rey carefully from Mira to Kylo’s arms and he holds her close as he stalks back through the forest in hopes of making it on time.

 

As they stalk through the woods, blaster fire echos through the woods and Kylo stops the bolt from hitting them. He knows these people. “We need Bacta Now.” He barks at the stunned face of Admiral Poe Dameron. Poe frowns for a moment before his eyes fall on Rey’s unconscious form.

 

“Finn! Finn get the medical transport heading our way NOW!"


End file.
